Friday, February 29, 2008

Gerry Butler Says:

"Hey You! Yea, you! It's Friday, don't just sit there! Go out and have a pint of your favorite brew! AND...Don't forget to come back and visit my girl CC often, she's THE BEST!"

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Broadway Day! (with a twist)

In honor of my niece's High School play opening tonight, I wanted to share some snapshots of some Broadway lovin' animals! See if you can guess the Musical from the song they are singing.










Unfortunately for Erin, I didn't know any songs from "Titanic: The Musical" to include. Did you notice how Goats seem to REALLY enjoy Broadway tunes??? Interesting huh!?

This is not a diss on E and her crew, I just couldn't resist making a few jokes, all in bad taste of course!

Monday, February 25, 2008

CC's Summer Concert Series

I am so psyched about this summer!! Not only am I getting to see RUSH again (yea, twice on the same tour, but it will be worth it!!) but I am finally getting to see The Police!!!! I remember stealing my brother Mark's Synchronicity T-shirt and album and listening to it over and over and over. Lawn seats at both concerts (let's hope for clear skies!) because the fact that The Police wanted $230.00 per ticket inside was RIDICULOUS!!! I don't mind a big screen and my binoculars, it's the music that moves me (tho Sting is nice to look at!). Oh, and Elvis Costello is opening. I have always wanted to see him!!

An Evening with RUSH
Snakes and Arrows Tour
July 5th


&


The Police
with special guest
Elvis Costello & The Imposters
August 1st



2008...lookin' GREAT!

Labels: , ,

Friday, February 22, 2008

What's on My TV?

Since the writers strike started I have been getting all nostalgic and watching some older shows I have on DVD.

It started with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" . I had already watched seasons 1-3 on and off since I got them so I began this fall with Season 4. Not that I forgot, but I sorta did forget how funny and well written that show was! Watching those episodes for the second time since they aired live (mostly), was just a reaffirmation that it is definitely one of my most favorite tv shows EVER.


It took me a few months, but once I was done with the 7th and final season of Buffy (yes, I am going through withdrawal all over again just like I did when the series ended for real) I decided to pick up with Season 3 of "Le Femme Nikita" . Does anyone remember this low budget, sometimes corny secret ops show that aired on USA network as an original series in the late 90's??? God I was hooked on this show! Nikita was a strong, cool female lead who kicked ass every week who had an array of interesting coworkers like: the sexy coworker Michael, the geeky computer nerd boy Birkoff, Walter, the older and extremely cool weapons master, creepy company psychologist Madeline, and ruthless Operations: the man who headed up the secret agency known only as 'Section'.


As I watch this now, it seems even more low budget (locations doubled in the same episode, photos shown at pre-ops briefings are from shots used in the actual mission etc.) but it is the characters who carry the show. Nikita and Walter were my favorites with Birkoff as a close 3rd. Michael was hot, but he mumbled and was flat, tho not complaining about the eye candy. Lame as it is in ways, it's also very cool and I am glad I have the seasons to watch.

I have to thank Big Geek and her husband for introducing me to a new show. Who knew there was any thing new out there that was actually worth watching??? Well, HBO has a show called "Flight of the Conchords" and it has got to be the funniest show I have seen in a while. Think Spinal Tap humor mixed with a bit of Monty Python. It's funny, silly weird and makes you feel uncomfortable (sometimes) all at the same time! I will be buying the 1st season on DVD because I know there are many of you out there that will appreciate this hysterical show. (Alysa, Erin, Kevin, Tom, Nathan, Tabbi, Nate, Jess, Christine...the list goes on!) GENIOUS!!!!


I am sorry to say that while I have missed some ofthe new shows I got started with in the fall (Pushing Daisies, Reaper and Chuck) I haven't really missed any of the others I watched routinely. It's been a nice break to catch up on some older shows and find something new. The best part of the writer's strike has been that the awards shows aren't as big and obnoxious as usual! I don't watch them, but it's been funny to see the networks squirm about it!

Anywho: What's on Yout TV? Post a comment and tell me what you are watching why I should hop on that train!

Happy Friday!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Project: Black Chairs

For a while now, Lamby and I have been wanting to recover a set of 4 chairs that match the dining room table she has entrusted to me. It is an art deco style with chrome legs and white ceramic top with black accents. The chairs were in need of some MAJOR overhauling and of course, Lamby and I were so excited to get started we didn't take a before picture!! This happened a few weeks ago and I am just posting now...

What we do have are during, break pics and the finished product. Lamby and Evan came for an overnight filled with Guitar Hero and Rock Band Breaks, Pizza, Funfetti Cake (with Frostin'!!!) and general tomfoolery! Here is the pictoral progression:

Warming up with a little Guitar Hero:



First we took the chairs apart and took out all the staples and grommits. ARG! LOTS OF STAPLES!!! And di I mention that the padding under the deteriorating material on the chairs was made partially of GOAT HAIR???? GGOOOOAAATT!!! I did not enjoy tearing those suckers apart! What a mess, but we were prepared. Since Lamby's the one with experience and sewing knowledge, I left cutting the batting and material for the chair seats and backs up to her!


Lamby covering one of the last chair backs. The seats are the black things in front of her:


The 4 chairs of the Apocolypse! Seriously, it took us much longer than anticipated, but it wasn't that bad. Poor Lamby did most of the work, but we did rock out afterwards on Rock Band!


Lamby enjoyed playing bass and Evan beat the crap out of those drums!


I got in on the action and captured it with the magic of timed picture taking! Evan enjoyed singing Weezer's "Say it Ain't So" so Lamby and I accompanied him.


Looking at the pics now, I realize I need to get movin' on getting more up on my walls! (and losing some weight...hello little piggy!!!)If you notice, the top pic is the canvas of "Carol's Castle" that Pinky painted for me for Christmas. I will try to take a close up pic and post it so you can all see it.:) Oh, and a pic of the table with the chairs all together would be nice too, huh?

Thanks for all your help Lamby! We had a fun time and the Chairs look AMAZING!!!:)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The "Let Me Get This Straight" Post

Let Me get this straight... Some people would rather back up employees who are not performing and "protect" them rather than confront the issue and move forward?

I think that accepting excuses from employees as to why they could not perform a task is enabling them to continue the behavior. I also think setting the stage regarding what is expected of them would help immensly.


Let Me get this straight...A certain person felt that he could ignore me over the holidays and then contact me out of the blue three months later as if we are still friends?

I think you need to grow up and act like an adult and take responsibility for your actions. I think you need to realize that what you did was MEAN and DISRESPECTFUL to me and NOONE treats me that way...EVER. I also think you need to realize that I haven't contacted you since Christmas, which means I don't care how you are. You've lost a friend who sincerely backed you in all of your endeavors, when many (including even your family) wouldn't.

Let Me get this straight...You think that you can continually dump your pet projects on me day after day and expect that I am only going to concentrate on your division?

I think you are a BLOW who needs some more busy work because you obviously have too much free time on your hands. I think that I have 3 other divisions to Market and since I have spent the last 6 months eating sleeping and breathing your division you could ease up and leave me alone to get some other stuff accomplished. I also think that if you keep pushing so hard that I will have to push back and you are NOT going to like that...


Let Me Get this Straight...Some people thought it would be a great idea to bring back Knight Rider and make an updated TV movie?

I think that Val Kilmer (tho I love him) made Kitt sound more gay than ever. I think the guy who played Michael Knight's son thinks he is cooler than he actually is. AND I also think that making a series out of this would not only be a HUGE mistake, but would taint the original series for generations to come.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

CC's 2008 List!

Here it is February, and I am just getting around to posting my 2008 List of stuff I want to do!

LIST LEGEND: A strike-through means I have changed or completed the item. Commentary in RED explains why it is no longer valid, Commentary in BLUE explains what I have accomplished in the item.

2008 List of Things To Do!

  1. Visit my friends who live far away!!! Ari, Christine, Jen, Jess & Chad, Deidre, Nate...

  2. Learn to play guitar (for real yo!), first acoustic, then electric and then bass. I have a teacher lined up who happens to be Big Geek's hubby. Just gotta "get off my ass!" and get started. I am not sure I really care about this anymore...

  3. Travel to visit my Brother and his family at their new home in Washington State and also their summer cabin in Idaho.

  4. Apply for a passport by May 1st.

  5. Travel outside the US (England, Scotland, Caribbean etc...Lamby do you hear me?) I think this is apparent and redundantly stated considering the previous statement (#4)

  6. Learn some basics of graphic art design and also web design (maybe take a class or two to get me started and then I can go from there) This is work related, and I am not sure that is the direction I should be going in.

  7. Make a movie to rival those of Bulldog Productions! I would rather tape my adventures traveling and edit them as keepsakes at this point.
  8. Take a long weekend with friends someplace This is getting harder and harder to plan, so I think I will just stick with visiting friends as in #1 above.
  9. Finish reading ATLAS SHRUGGED and read some classics that I have missed out on.
  10. Finish decorating my apartment! Little by little this is happening. My balcony is all set for summer. I still need to get family pics up in the dining room and something cool up in the living room. I want a tapestry...too expensive...wonder if I could make one?

Addendums:

  1. Loose 20 lbs/get in shape by July 1st! (added 4/15/08)
  2. Plan a few vacations for the summer (added 4/15/08)

Many of those are going to take some time, but I am sure that I will add to it and delete from it as the year goes on. I have done pretty well with asserting myself and sticking up more for myself this past year. The past two years have been amazing in the fact that I have learned so much more about myself and what I truly want and what I truly don't want. That's usually what you hope happens every year, it just happened to be a lot of learning experiences in 2007.

I have decided for 2008 that I will not take any shit from people who aren't true friends, and that I would rather cut them loose than stress myself out. In conjunction with that, I have also decided that it's OK to be a bitch, because sometimes you have to or people will use you up. I think I lost myself along the way there for a while and in rebuilding I am stronger, sort of like the Bionic Woman. Maybe that's my theme this year. Hmmmm... Ha!

This year is definately going to be different and exciting. Having this new job really helps me in so many ways, and in addition to my family and friends, my job is my cornerstone that makes all other things possible. Each year gets better and better. I think 2008 will be a great year for me and I hope it will be for you as well!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Starting the Week Out Right...

Well, I guess the question and answer blog was a bust, not many comments, so sorry about that. Who gives a shit about me anyway? Lamby you need to start posting more and I need to get the silly back!

Int he meantime, the first official trailer for "Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was released last week. I post it here for your enjoyment. Hey, Indiana Jones might belong in a museum himself, but the guy still cracks me up. No matter what, I am up for one more adventure with Dr. Jones:

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I'll Tell You No Lies Part 2

Well, I got some interesting questions so here goes:

Let's start with Lamby since she sent hers in first:
"Here are my questions for the meme:



  1. What makes you smile? Aside from the normal Dogs, puppies, kittens, horseys etc I will say I smile at CuteOverload (check my sidebar and check this site out, you will smile too!) A good song on the radio, The recipes I make up and taste amazing, When I can make people laugh.

  2. What makes you mad? Lately what makes me mad is when someone says "I don't know how to do that" or "I haven't been trained". Usually it is followed by silence instead of them telling that they will try or at least ask someone who does know so they can learn and get the job done. Are they lazy, dumb or both.? Pick up the damn ball and run withit!!! JUST DO IT! There is lots of stuff I do in my new position that is new to me and there have been a few BIGGIES that were firsts. Noone is here to train me, so I figure it out, ask questions and use common sense. Sure I ask for help, I am not afraid of that, but I have NEVER said I couldn't do a task!

  3. What movie would you have liked to be in? What character would you have played? Oh boy Lamby! If I could ahve been Indiana Jones or Marty McFly or a Goonie that would have rocked. BUT, since I a woman, I would say my top two choices would be Selina Kyle/Catwoman in Batman Returns and most definitely Lara Croft Tomb Raider. I would have made an entire series of movies for TR in the fashion of James Bond's longevity!


  4. Who is your favorite sister? I have 3 favorite sisters. Lamby is my favorite blonde one!:)

Next question comes from an anonymous poster:



Since you have been talking alot about Buffy lately, what are your favorite 3 episodes? Only 3?? that is tough b/c there are so many great eps of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Let's see:



  1. "Hush" when the Gentlemen come to town and everyone loses their voices. Story telling with music only and so genius in season 4,


  2. "The Body" from season 5 when Buffy's Mom Joyce dies. This episode is so unsettling, as real life death is, but it is brilliantly crafted and I don't mind that it makes me cry every time I see it.


  3. "Once More With Feeling" the season 6 musical episode. Come on! A Buffy Musical? You cannot beat that, how clever!

Sparkles left these questions:



"i love this idea!... i didn't know you when you did your last "ask anything" post :) i get to play this time!!hmmmm... let's see.... here are a few questions:



  1. What is your favorite line from a movie? Oh dear, I am sorry to say that would take me all day! There are so many movies and so many great lines I shudder to think of only one...I refer you to any of my Movie Line Quizzes


  2. What is your favorite lyric from a song? I remember being in Jr High and realizing that while I was well liked by my peers, I was definately different in many ways. I started listening to Sting's solo work thanks to my friend Jess and Englishman in NY has always been one of most favorites of his songs. (Even now I have it as one of my ringers on my cell!) The lyric from that song that got me and makes me smile and shake my head in agreement every time was so simple "Be yourself, no matter what they say".


  3. What is the best thing about your life right now? I am loving life again for many reasons, new job, good health etc etc BUT I have to say having my own apartment again is definately at the top of the list! I am loving having the freedom to do and cook and watch what I please whenever I please. I love that I can invite family and friends over and not have to check with someone else. I love that I can decorate the place to my liking and spread my stuff out in all the rooms, not just be crushed into one room.

The final questions come from Lauren:



"This is interesting but difficult because I want to ask all sorts of things but I also want to appear smart and witty at the same time! Okay here goes:



  1. What is your favorite Italian dish? My Dad's Lasagna!


  2. What is your favorite book? As usual: Timeline by Michael Crichton


  3. Do you prefer favorite or favourite? Favorite. Although when I am silly and speak in an english accent, I assume then in that case I would say favourite!/li>

  4. Also cat or dog? I love animals, I would have to say that I have always considered myself to be a dog person first. Then I met Anchovy and it didn't matter that she was a kitteh, only that she was fun and spazzy and would curl up with me to watch tv at night. I only had her a week, but I love her!!


  5. What is your five year plan? WOW Lauren! That is a BIG question...Are you saying I should get that 2008 list done already????:) No seriously I have more of a 1-3 year plan. Let me explain a bit: Within one year I want to expand my knowledge of website design and development. Within 2-3 years I would like to buy a house...but my budget and earnings in the next year will reflect what is more doable. Also in the next 1-3 years I want to go to Disney, Europe and back to Vegas. Of course I realize I have spending and saving all in the same time frame. I guess it depends on how things go financially from here on out, if I get a decent raise for all my hard work etc. It's good to have plans, and then tweak as needed.

Well I guess that was everything! Thanks for sending in questions! That was fun. Up next...(hopefully)...the unveiling of the 2008 list!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Revisiting the Past

Does anyone remember the reader made meme that I did a while back? I will refresh your memory: I'll tell you no lies (see below after you click the link)was a post where I answered questions from the readers of the blog. It seemed like a good post, so I thought it would be interesting to do that again, if you would all oblige me.

All you have to do is send in a question you would like me to answer. You can either post a comment with your question or email me at cclifeblog@hotmail.com.

To put a timeline on it: Questions will be taken until Sunday, February 10th at 8pm (eastern). I will then post the questions and answers on Monday, February 11th.

Ask away!!!!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Creepy Much?

Ok, so here I am writing at night again. Something just struck me and I had to post.

There I was, sitting watching a little Buffy (season 7 actually) and getting a little creeped out. For you Buffy fans out there it's the episode "Conversations with Dead People" where Dawn sees her dead mother. Other pivotal stuff happens too, but that part actually made me jump a few times and was really spooky. I remember that episode freaking me out first time around too. Damn you Joss Whedon! You are too brilliant for me to even comprehend!

Great idea, getting all spooked out in my apartment where I live by myself. You know how it goes, you start hearing noises and you start thinking "Is that a normal noise, or is there some sort of evil in my second bedroom waiting to harrass me?" Then Jonathan and What's His Name come on the screen and make with the Star Wars references and I laugh and forget all the scary I was just thinking about.

So anywho, on to the next episode, less with the creepy and more with the "Spike is still all wonky". My cell starts going off with a text message. I make aquick guess as to who it might be and I pick it up to check. Boy was my guess wrong! The message was from, and I am NOT kidding: barbara@armyofhell . Then I start to think that maybe my life is turning into an episode of Buffy! I mean, is someone trying to tell me something? Was there another reason I used to make wooden stakes in shop class other than because I didn't want to actually build anything? Come on, Admit it, those saws were scary and you liked your fingers too much too!! (I am not kidding, I still have a wooden stake I made in like 8th or 9th grade. ) Could it be that I am the Chosen One of my generation and the big bad was notifying me via text message that it's time to go to work?

Where the hell did that come from? I just deleted it and didn't open it for fear of a virus of some sort. Chain letters are really annoying and I HATE those things. They are PURE EVIL and text messages are for texting, NOT STUPID ASS DUMB CHAIN LETTERS AND FORWARDS! It's bad enough I get them on my sodding email account! Just so you all know: If you send me a chain letter as a text message, I will kick your ass! And if you send it to my emal you deserve a sound beating all the same. Just sayin'.

So now I will go to bed knowing that at least I told you guys what happened tonight. You know, in case I end up missing and you find that I have taken up with a witch, a vampire with a soul, a former vengeance demon, a sister I never knew I had, and a Xander in order to save the world... a lot.

Mardi Gras!

Every year I do a Mardi Gras post on Fat Tuesday because as many of you know, I have had a fascination with the city of New Orleans and it's culture(s) since I was in high school. It all started with Harry Connick Jr., then in college: Does anyone remember the 1996 tv show "The Big Easy" about a New Orleans detective named Remy McSwain? Hey the show was great, he was hot and I was addicted. I have never been and since Katrina I really am torn about going but I wouldn't turn down a trip.

ANYWHO, Usually my post is of an educational nature (2006 and 2007) but this year I wanted to provide links to live Cams around the city so you could check out all he action down in NOLA.

I remember at one of my jobs, the only person in the department who had internet access was my skeevy boss. So, since he traveled often, I would sneak into his office during Mardi Gras and especially on on Fat Tuesday and hop on the internet and check out the Bourbon Street cams. Yes, another instance of me being all stealthy! The only good thing about that boss was that we would get a King Cake every year since he did some work for a New Orleans Track.

Those were the days when we would go to this great little place called The Mellow Joy Cafe where the owner (who had recently moved from NOLA) cooked up some southern love like jumbalaya, catfish, shrimp or crawfish Po Boys, Pecan Pie, homemade cornbread and many other amazing dishes! He got to know us since we were in at least twice a week! I think we tried everything on the menu (you know me and my love affair with food!) I miss that place! He closed the year I left that job and moved away...perhaps I was keeping him open!!:)

So now on with the cam links. Since we can't be there, prepare to laugh at all the crazy!!! Enjoy!!! LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULER!!!

Parade Cam from Fat Harry's


Bourbon Street Cam from Tropical Isle Bar

Wait here is a good view from EarthCam Bourbon Street

Monday, February 04, 2008

Thanks!

I just want to thank all of you who emailed, posted comments and talked to me on the phone about my psychosomatic symptoms. It really means a lot to me to know my friends are backing me. Those of you who emailed me knew exactly who I was speaking about, which was pretty funny. BTW, the nickname is not Hobbit anymore, it's Dementor. You know, the ghostly guards of Azkaban from the Harry Potter universe? They suck the happiness and warmth out of everyone when they are near!!!! Expecto Patronus!!!

Your Patronus is the Cougar!

The cougar is a symbol of power, swiftness and balance. He is one of the most beautiful creatures in North America and will protect you with his powerful claws. Congratulations!That your Patronus is a cougar says that you are a quick thinker who leads a very balanced life. This quick thinking and balance cause you to often be chosen as a leader. Be careful not to let that power go to your head and you will be an excellent witch or wizard!
The quiz is dumb but you can take it at Quizilla

But Seriously, Phil Collins: I know I will be better off, but I hate to hurt anyone's feelings. My plan is to just maintain radio silence and hope it takes her two months to contact me this time! I don't want a confrontation if I don't have to have one, but I don't know what the best course of action is. Hopefully it will be a gradual losing touch situation. She will paint me as the bad girl anyway I slice it, and even tho I am not the bad girl, I guess what will be will be. It's time for me to stop worrying about things I cannot change and focus on what I can.

In the immortal words of Bartels and James: "Thank You for Your Support!"

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Psychosomatic Symptons

This is gonna be a weird post, just to warn you. But hang in with me (sorry it's so long!), 'cause I am thinking that more of you out there than just me have had a similar reaction. And yes, I posted this on Saturday morning, 'cause I just had to get it out!!! I am my own therapist!

Everyone goes through ups and downs in their life. I know I have times when I am just frustrated and confused with my life and I need to shut down for a few days, be by myself and work it out. For the past 5 months I have been happy, excited, optimistic and extremely social. The Vegas experience really put things in perspective for me (as traveling tends to do) and I have been ready to tackle anything.

The past week has been difficult. Yes, I was feeling under the weather, but it was an under the weather I could have pushed through if I wasn't letting this silent depression hold me down. Something was bumming me out and I couldn't put my finger on it. I was doing well with work, just the typical situationsthat I smile and joke my way thru every week. By the end of the week I found some free time to get started on organizing myself except I couldn't be happy about it. Organizing is something that will bring me out of a funk, but this wasn't helping.

Yesterday (Friday) I stayed home since I still wasn't feeling well. I slept most of the day took my tylenol and drank my fluids, but I knew that wasn't curing the real issue. By evening I took a shower and was feeling better. I tried to think about what might be influencing this mood. Was it because I was watching Buffy a lot lately? I mean seasons 5 and 6 are pretty dark... I decided that couldn be it because I was watching it before Christmas! And that show is HYSTERICAL with all the funnies they fit in. Which reminds me that I would love to do a Buffy Post with a bunch of my favorite lines...

ANYWHO, deciding that Buffy was ruled out I was trying to put a finger on what was different in my life lately and then it hit me. Since I moved in September a close friend of mine and I have drifted apart. We have spoken on the phone a few times, I had invited her to do things in the beginning but she never reciprocated by inviting me. I won't go into everything here, but I was enjoying not hanging with her and things were going great until she called on Sunday. It had been a month since I left her a Merry Christmas message and hadn't heard anything from her. I hate to say it but I had gotten to my threshold with her a year ago and was happy not to have to listen to her whining about not dating anyone and judging everyone from her selfish holier than thou throne.

It was the sort of friendship that drains the other person of their heart and soul. Having to constantly reinforce someone's low self esteem, and seeing them never try for themselves, and then the fact that everything has to be about them or they are not happy just sucked the life out of me. I felt like I was suffocating because she was never there for me except to judge, and push her views onto me.

I had had enough and the past 5 months have been so great without her in my life. It got to the point that it was imperitive that I have a circle of friends that she wasn't included in because I felt this need to excape. I just couldn't handle this friendship anymore, I needed a break from being the good guy and having to walk on eggshells around her because it was all about her and her life problems and issues.

I think you can see what I am getting at. My tangent just explained that once she contacted me my funk began. Sunday after she kept me on the phone for 2 hours (!!talking for all but about 20 minutes about herself I might add) I finally got off the phone with her and felt like I was in a daze. My funk had begun there, I just needed to think about it. Then this week she had called me twice to update me on something going on with her...and both times she talked the entire time about herself and never asked how I was or how my week was going. I didn't offer it but the point is, she NEVER EVEN ASKED.

So, now that I understand that my syptoms are mostly psychosomatic and because of this person, my hope to distance myself further from her has become a priority. This is a strange thing to me, because I hold my friends very dear. Maybe I am just now after 8 years of knowing her seeing her true colors. I don't just drop friends. Well, I am done. I don't want to be rude, I don't want to be mean, but I just cannot handle being friends with her. It is too stressful for me and she is too needy.

Maybe this sounds terrible to those of you reading this who don't know the players, but Lamby will concure. This person has gone mental in the past year, worse than ever, and Lamby has witnessed the weirdness in person. Sometimes friendships break down and change, and this is one of them. I am just not willing to save it, I did that once in college. I am sick of doing all the work, and I am sick of her closed minded judgmental ways. I wish her well and hope she finally opens her eyes to her issues and works on them, but for my own sanity I need to be done with it and the psychosomatic symptoms that have come from it.