Another WTF Moment

Last night I was excited to hang out with a dear old friend from High School and her husband at a local bar. We sat down, grabbed some drinks and the conversation flowed and we were enjoying catching up and joking around. Then I made the mistake of smiling back at a guy at the bar, or perhaps he was a garden gnome, but we will figure that out later. At this point I am a local, I know most everyone in the bar, and we have a few laughs whenever I come out with friends. This guy was new, and barely 5 feet tall I suspect, and unfortunately he had his sights set on me.

He approached our table and asked if we were interested in shots, we all sort of blankly looked at him and said "sure?". He introduced himself and he was "in" or so he thought. He brought shots over and told us that he bar tends there but he was off that night. I had heard there was a new bartender but he had never been working when I was there. We humored him, had a shot and a beer with him and he kept hanging around and telling us all sorts of personal information and asking me all sorts of questions "Do you live here?" "Do you have Children" and my personal favorite "Why are you still single?" to which I should have lied and said I wasn't single, but I am too honest. Later I would have wanted to answer "because there are only little assholes like you out there to choose from" but let's not get the cart before the horse.

He says he has a 4 year old son and that the boy is visiting his mother in Texas for the holiday and then proceeds to call her every dirty, disgusting word you can call a woman. I retorted to the group "Well, that is an attractive quality, speaking about your son's mother that way". He didn't get it. Any guy who uses the "C" and "Tw" words within 15 minutes of meeting someone is definitely a classless slob. Then he proceeds to tell me he is just looking for a nice girl and he used to be a yacht captain and just bought a snowmobile. Wow. I am riveted and so impressed. NOT. Then he says "Hey, you never know, maybe we will be buying a house together" I just laughed and rolled my eyes and said to my friend "Well, isn't he optimistic and forward".

He keeps on and I am obviously uninterested so I keep chatting with my friend and her hubby, but he never gets the hint. Finally, I lean across the table and say to him "I have to be honest..." and his face gets very serious and I say "I am actually more interested in finding a job right now than dating anyone". I was trying to be as nice as I could, but apparently I let the cat out of the bag because all of a sudden he tells me has a fledgling company he wants to start and he could give me a job. I asked what the company was and what kind of job would he have for me, and I could tell that he was going to assume that I would want an admin position, so I told him I was in marketing. He said he needs sales people. I explained to him that I am not in Sales, I am in the creative end of marketing and promotion, and then it began. He jumped in and cut me off, wouldn't let me finish and proceeded to try and lecture me about my job searching techniques. I tried telling him I didn't want to get into it and he kept on. My friend kept telling him to chill out and step back, but he kept pushing. I actually left and went to talk to some other people thinking he might leave and when I came back he was still there!

He told me (in a very condescending way) that he has a degree from some college somewhere in Illinois and he had a double major in marketing. So I said "Um, OK. So if you have a double major in marketing what are you doing working as a bartender in Dtown?" He became more argumentative (which is hard to believe after the shit that he was giving me. He kept talking and cutting me off and finally I said "OK, this needs to stop. I am out with my friends trying to have a little fun and good conversation after sending out another bunch of resumes today and this is the last thing I need coming from someone I just met" to which he responded "How's that working out for you?".

I shot him back a look and then he said "Are you a fucking retard?". So I responded "Excuse me? You don't know me, and you don't know my situation and you have no right to lecture me about my career and job hunting. Oh and good luck finding a nice girl!" Then my friend jumped in an ripped him a new one and held me back because I was actually going to punch this little fucker.

He finally left our table. It almost ruined my night. I could not believe the nerve of this guy. What a psycho. From buying me a drink to talking about buying a house to calling me a retard in 1 1/2 hours. Impressive. About 30 minutes later her tries to come back and be nice "I'm really sorry, can we be friends?" and I just ignored him. He approached both my friend and her husband separately a bit later and they both told him to just drop it and leave me alone. I have never been spoken to like that, and I have never seen someone be so aggressive and rude as he was. Who does he think he is?

My friend Justin asked how my night out was last night and after I told him the story I said I can't go back there because I may actually punch the angry garden gnome, so I need to wait a bit. He said he was sorry he couldn't make it because he would've "had my back". It's probably best he wasn't there because that could have gotten messy, but it was nice to hear. I had told a few other friends who frequent there (and spend a lot of money) and I am sure it will get back to this guy, so it will be interesting to see where this goes. I might have to have a chat with the owners of the bar and let them know what kind of trash they are employing there. I know they will be mad that someone treated me that way because they are friends with my parents and we (and my friends) are great customers of their establishement.

I had to write this out and share because I am soooo angry about this still and thought perhaps writing it would give me some peace. I have never gotten in a fight or punched anyone, but if I could, it would be this little ugly garden gnome. Who knows, maybe I will get my chance...

Happy New Year Everyone! May 2011 bring health, happiness and prosperity to you all...and attitude adjustments to angry garden gnomes everywhere!

Disturbing the Peace: Assault on a Beloved Tradition

I am taking this break from the match.com experiment to comment on something I find quite disturbing. I have noticed assaults on traditions of all kinds during the past few years, but this Christmas season I have been appalled by the attacks made on a favorite jolly old man.

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal by Brian Campbell entitled "Time for Santa 2.0" in the weekend edition (dec 18-19, 2010) that infuriated me. If this was the author's effort to be sarcastically humorous, it was completely lost on me. If you would like to read the full article the only way to do without subscribing is to do a Google search for Brian Campbell Time for Santa 2.0 and click the first or second listing you get.

Mr. Campbell proceeds to give examples why Santa needs a reboot because "Mr. Claus is fat, uncool and technologically backward". His pompous and materialistic view on a traditional character that has brought joy to so many is exactly what is wrong with society at large today. Mr. Campbell clearly misses the point of Santa Claus and the traditions he represents. We have slowly seen this "de-volution" through marketers and retailers for many years in an effort to cash in on Santa, and it has now come to this:

"A new Santa Clause is what we need -A progressive well-versed in our very modern age: one who runs triathlons and talks about them on Twitter; who sets trends in fashion and social responsibility; who is deemed worthy by our Omnipotent teenage toddlers; who updates his operation to be more efficient, technology-driven and global; and who is as sophisticated as the American Consumer.

We have soared to new heights. We are better than those who came before us. Santa Claus must follow suit"

How obnoxious. Every generation soars to new heights, we hope. I don't subscribe to the idea that the American consumer is sophisticated. Having worked in marketing and retail, most are slaves to slick advertising and marketing ploys. This ethnocentric view of "we are better than those before us" will surely spell our ruin as a society. I believe all societies and generations are relevant and their contributions, positive or negative, are important. We should never diminish or forget since they were the foundation we have built upon. I believe this attitude also spills into the degradation of respect for elders and their knowledge and experiences, but I digress.

Santa, Mr. Campbell, is a symbol and is not to be taken literally. Santa is not about gifts, he's about generosity. Santa is not about a fat man, he's about happiness and contentment. Santa is not about technology or the lack thereof, he is about simplicity and the enjoyment of those simple things. Continuing the tradition of Santa Claus teaches children the importance of simplicity and kindness, something they don't seem to grasp from our culture today.

Perhaps everyone needs to step back from their technology-driven, emotionless, materialistic, self-indulging lives and focus on their families, helping others if they are able, and basking in the simple joys of winter and the holiday season. Try sledding down a hill or ice skating instead of pretending to do so on your PS3 in your living room. Have intelligent and entertaining conversation at the family dinner table without cell phones and text messaging to interrupt human interaction. Stop overspending on gifts and save some money or donate to a charity.

Santa is a classic. He is perfect the way he is, with his rosy cheeks, jiggling belly and hearty laugh. Whether you celebrate the traditions of the birth of Jesus Christ or not at this time of year, Santa Claus is a secular reminder of happiness, peace on earth and goodwill towards one another.

Match vs. Real Life = Bizarro Tie

In Match-world:

Hungryhat must have annoyed his soon-to-be ex-wife to death. Got a 4th message this morning. I have never responded to ANY of his messages.

":)
Good Morning Ms Dville :) How are you today ?? Is there enough snow for you ??"

Should I nip this in the bud or see if this guy will write a 5th time? In the spirit of blogging, let's see if this douchebag will write another time and take bets on how many smiley faces and punctuation marks he will use.


In the meantime, here are a few more great screen names to ponder:

Imreadytoroll123 I best you are...

krisnutsak Wow, nutsak, are you friends with PhilMcrackin?

I'm surprised no one has used Boogerface, Dillweed or Douchebag as screen names yet.


In Real Life:

I asked a guy friend who I hadn't seen in a few weeks to go to the movies with me last night, basically because he was the only one in town that was able to go. We have known each other since High School. Even though I asked him to come along, he drove and he paid for my ticket and I was sort of annoyed by that, because I feel like my friends are always paying for me because I am unemployed. Well, apparently this friend was paying because he was about to put the moves on me. Yep. He kept grabbing my knee when he wanted to comment about the movie and then he put his arm around me...I sat up immediately and looked at him like "WTF?" and he kept it there. So I said "That's really uncomfortable" and picked his arm back up and pushed it towards him. Hey, maybe I was rude, but in my experience you need to be blunt because otherwise they don't understand. All this, in the middle of the movie that I WANTED TO SEE. I HATE being distracted in the movie theater.

The ride back home was a bit weird, but I kept talking about random stuff to not have to deal with any uncomfortable silences. He had bought a Christmas present for me which seemed strange, but makes sense now. Last winter we went to breakfast and I had a new grey hat which I ended up forgetting at the diner and losing. He remembered this (I did not) and looked everywhere for a grey hat to replace it. It's a great hat, but it weirded me out that he was so thoughtful because it just makes it more uncomfortable because I have never and will never think of him that way. I gave him a jar of the family spaghetti sauce because I felt I needed to give him a gift as well. It was a bizarre night.

What's a girl to do? Friends have described me as intimidating but apparently I am also giving out the wrong signals? I knew I was a paradox, but this is ridiculous. Match is obnoxious, my real life is wonky and I am still unemployed. I must be more resilient than I thought because most would be clinically depressed under all this emotional stress.

Annoyingly Persistent

Hungryhat is annoyingly persistent and is currently separated with 3 kids and seems to have some issues to work through...including misspelling the name of one of my favorite musicians... That's 4 strikes, he was out at 3.

Main Profile Blurb:
"I am a new person just out of the box and I am looking for someone that will let me be who I am. I lost touch with who I was over the years and that made me a very unhappy person. Now that I have gotten myself back, I really want to keep it that way. I absolutely love to laugh and have fun and make sure those around me are having fun too. I am extremely affectionate and love to show it. I have a very big heart and I need to feel wanted, appreciated and loved." OK, so he is not divorced yet, has 3 kids and apparently as many issues to go along with that. This reads a bit like a wish list letter to his therapist. Yikes!

favorite hot spots:
"Adirondacks, NYC, Like to get away to small quaint places for a weekend, like a bed and breakfast in Vermont :)" That sounds like a canned response to reel in the ladies. Yawn! I bet he thinks there are only B&B's in Vermont. I wonder how quaint a getaway with his 3 kids would be...

last read:
"Ghost Rider ........ By Niel Piert"
Um hello! This is a prolific percussionist and if he actually read his book he would know his name is NEIL PEART.

If I have said this a thousand times, I say it again: This is you marketing yourself to people. Use spell check, do a little editing, look it up! Quality in, quality out!

So here are his creepy little emails that he keeps sending and I keep ignoring:

December 05

"Hi
:) your smile made me smile ........................"

That's weird, my profile tag line is "Smiles are contagious!". He's a creative one!

December 07

":)
Hello Ms CC ................... how are on this fine nasty yet beautiful morning ? Are you staying warm ?
:)"
"Fine nasty yet beautiful"? He is more conflicted than I thought, and I don't like the word nasty...it's nasty.


December 11

":)
Good morning CC ......................

Your dimples are adorable !! How are you and how is everything in big town of D this morning ? :)

j"

OMG!!!! What is it with this guy? ..................... :) He is skipping words and using lots of unnecessary punctuation and annoying smiley faces.


And why is everyone dissing my town? It's like when you are mad at your brother and you bitch about him and then that person says "Yea, he's always been an asshole". You just want to bludgeon that person for saying something mean about your brother. Only I have never said a bad thing about my town on match, so the comments about being able to compete with the guys here or the size of the town or that it must be quiet and boring here are really starting to annoy me.

They have probably heard about that technique that guys use to deflect or dis a girl and then she will instinctively be interested because you picked on her for something. Usually it's slightly different and in a group of people where the guy will pay more attention to your friends to get you to notice him. I think it all goes back to the "playground theory" where if a boy picked on you he liked you. We are not in elementary school anymore guys, man up!

Really Bad Match Screen Names

Remember "hotpiglove"? That was probably the worst screen name I have seen so far but here are some more from in my list of really bad screen names I have found on match.com:

"Trojan518" - Does that mean there is a surprise inside that is NOT GOOD?

"4hrsmn" - I'm confused

"PhoneJackSam" - He either works for a phone company or he really likes wall fixtures

"Goforitromance" - Yea! You go for it romance!

"Doorman14" - Maybe he is polite? Hopefully he didn't misspell "Doormat14"

"Dicker911" - If there's an emergency with that, that's your problem!

"Grousehound44" - Hunting humor? FYI, lost of most chicks.

"Vanloan79" - Has he had a loan on his creepy van since 1979?

"BedlamStun" - Again, I am confused

"hungryhat" - huh?

"InjinCowboy" - This guy is actually a really hot Indian...we've emailed but I was worried I can't do my indian voice and talk about dots if we met and dated!

"mayor_mccheeze" - haha. weird.

"PhilMaCrackIn007" - Seriously? Really? and 007? Very stealthy. You are a fucking idiot!

"HOTSTUFF1970" - For the full effect, I present the picture that was attached to the screen name:


Dumb names remind me of this dumb ass who sent me messages this week. Just some background: if someone writes to me or winks I check out their profile, regardless, and you should be happy because that's where I end up getting all this great fodder. People know who has looked at them, and I know who has looked at me, even if they don't attempt contact. That said I got this message:

December 09:
"hi my name is r, your profile is very nice a...
hi my name is r, your profile is very nice and interesting.I enjoy life, try to travel as much as possible,though i havent for a few months.i think we may have a few things in common. maybe you can write back,bye"

I looked at his profile, briefly, but just to see who it was. I mean, he wrote to me, I should check out his profile to see if I am interested in writing back, right? Well, this guy must be slower than he looks, because I received a second message the next day. I only looked at his profile because he wrote to me. Did I contact him? No. Obviously I was not interested in his profile enough to email him, but this tard doesn't get it:

December 10th:
"hi there again, i think you viewed my profile,I...
hi there again, i think you viewed my profile,I bet your getting tons of e mails from other guys,but just write back sometime maybe we can chat and see how it goes."

God help me...

Match Date #1

Has the suspense been killing you? Well, I will make this short, because the date was long-winded.

Matt: He was nice and a complete gentleman. We met at a local sit-down Chinese restaurant that was very good, by the way. When we met he was very stiff and shook my hand, which was fine, maybe he was nervous. I had talked myself out of being nervous at all before the date, because my intuition was making me more relaxed.

Anywho, we sat down and began talking immediately. I have to tell you that his emails were quite long, but I tend to write a bit too (as you know). When we spoke on the phone to plan the date he was long winded and was nervous and trying to impress with big words etc. I enjoy big words, but in moderation. I don't want to feel like I am being lectured by a Professor when I am having a discussion, but that is what this guy was like. He was trying to be sooo polite that he seemed robotic and then if I got him laughing he would come out with this "Gay Man Voice" which was disturbing. I can't describe it, I felt like I wished I had a girl friend I could fix him up with. That spells DATE OVER.

Dinner was 2 hours and 45 minutes. Did I mention he talked a lot? He wouldn't split the bill, which was nice but unnecessary. My fortune cookies sucked, which also can't be good!

Here are the reasons I had to turn him down when he texted me the next day for another date:

1. Long winded, wordy and professor-like, I felt like I was on a date with an old co-worker of mine...not cool.
2. Too stiff, he seemed to calm further into the date but was still tightly wound, but maybe that is because he was a probation officer, they can't let their guard down so that stern attitude becomes them?
3. He used a "Gay Man Voice" when trying to joke around...I don't get it.
4. He said he hates Pee-Wee Herman and always wanted to "punch him"...Well, I hate to break it to him but if he didn't "get" Pee-Wee humor, he won't get CC humor either!
5. His hands were abnormally small. Sorry, that creeped me out a little.

He was attractive, but there was no spark. I think the conversational skills really ruined it for me.

I did share with him my movie blog, and he made a few comments. When I read them later, they annoyed me. The way he writes is tough to read because he is so wordy and pretentious about his views, again like he is teaching you through his superior opinion. Here are the annoying comments: Comment 1 (I didn't need a rehash of the plot, and if I felt my readers did I would have done that already and way too wordy to keep my attention) and Comment 2 (obviously he just wanted to re-iterate what I had said in his own verbose way). I hope that when you read my words, I am more intelligently opinionated, than forcefully lecturing. You would let me know, right???

Well, as for first dates it was good enough to get me started with Match. I have another guy that I am trying to set a date for. Maybe tomorrow if we can sync out schedules, so I will keep you posted.

Also keep an eye out next week for "Match's All-Time BEST Screen Names!", I hope you will be sitting down for that post!
Have a great weekend!

Deja Vu and Creepy Shit

So I thought perhaps this guy had forgotten that he had written to me already, but here is the evidence. He looks much older than his age and seems very rigid and boring to me. His picture is a forced pose at his kitchen table with an empty glass of wine in front of him. The caption should say: "I just got home from a day at the office and as a sophisticated male, I like to have a glass of wine to unwind".

Apparently ignoring doesn't give the hint that you are not interested, you actually have to tell them you are not interested. I keep forgetting that guys never "get" hints, they understand the direct approach more often than not.


he said November 29

"Hey,
I read your profile and like what you had to say there. So I thought I'd e-mail to introduce myself, my name is Pete. I'm looking forward to getting to know more about you. Hope to hear from you soon!
P"

he said Yesterday RE: Subject

"Hey,
I'm looking forward to getting to know more about you. Hope to hear from you soon!
P"


So OK, it looks as if he's really trying. I wrote the first part of this post this morning BUT THEN I get home today and there are two MORE messages from him and these are kinda wacked. Here is the first message:

" Ok, so I HAVE to aske this question. HOW on earth can such and attractive women, like you, be single. I'm sure the pickings in [your town] are slim but being in sales you must meet alot of people.

Did you grow up there???

P"

Here is the second message which he sent moments after he sent the last message. Maybe he was into the wine as he wrote:

"Oh yeah, and what's up with taggin me as a "no connection", LOL! COME ON, you have to at least learn a bit abot me before you shoot me down.

Ok, TAG, you're it!

P"

Firstly, telling me I am attractive is not going to get me to all of a sudden be interested. Secondly, I have never responded to or emailed this guy so "what's up" with him asking me "what's up"? Thirdly, I am NOT playing games by saying there is no connection, so no, I am not TAGGED and I am not IT!

I feel like writing this guy back but I am afraid I will be too much of a bitch, so I have to refrain. He's a little too pushy for my taste. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Advice?


On a positive note I spoke with Matt on the phone tonight and we are having dinner tomorrow night. We have been emailing for two weeks and are finally meeting. He sounds really nice and we definitely don't have issues with uncomfortable silences since we get talking about movies. I just hope there is that spark/attraction there, or the possibility anyway. So wish me luck:)

Stalker Alert! (sort of)

So this guy has winked at me twice and sent me a message already...I think you will remember Rich.

He lists himself as "currently separated" but says he is divorced in this section. I have taken the liberty to highlight SOME of the spelling mistakes I found, and realized there is too much wrong with this so I didn't bother with punctuation and sentence structure. I wish I could get paid for proofreading for these dumb asses!:

"well im 31 divorced just want to enjoy life. I like to have fun cause some mischif:) be myself and to find someone who just wants to hangout at home or go out and hang out weather its to a movie or other things im not a picky person im opened minded to try anything i would like to find someone who is not looking for something serious right now but maybe in the future basicly i would like a casual relationship. I dont have pics on this but im 6 foot 5 about 250 italin average build. So if this is something u r interested in give me a shout we and we will see what happens, u never know if u dont go out on a limb and just say the hell with it sometimes thats the best thing to do..well i hope to talk to u soon:)"


He winked at me and sent me another message this morning:

"hello
hi my name is rich i would like to talk to u:)"


You would think if I have ignored you to this point, attempting to contact me again would be sort of...well, weird. This guy obviously isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

I sent one of the generic choose from these things to say "not interested" replies, in hopes that he takes better to the direct approach.

Until the next time, and the next slob...

The Silver Lining?

I have to say, after sifting through all of the creepy, fat, obnoxious, hillbilly, uneducated stud muffins on match I have found a few that seem relatively normal and nice. It's obvious that the odds are against me here, especially in this geographic area, but I am hoping there is a guy on there that is just like me: a cool person looking for a decent date.

I am emailing 3 people right now, and have a date with one Monday night. Just a little "we've been emailing for two weeks, so let's meet for coffee" type of thing. I am hoping it goes well, as his emails have been so great and we seem to have quite a bit in common.

I have had a few funny ones that wink at me, I wink back and then I never hear from them. I thought I was giving them the signal that if they emailed me I would respond. I guess I could have emailed instead of winked, but they started it...wait, is that me playing games? LOL I guess it doesn't matter who does the contacting. Maybe I will be forward and email them. Oh well, who cares, right?

I am not on match.com because I can't generate interest in my real life. I can count 10 guys who are interested right now, but probably 8 of them are only interested in one thing, hence my single status. I'm flattered boys (slightly) but I'm not looking for a fling or a hookup, I have never been that kind of girl. I am not looking for a boy I can control or a guy who controls me. What am I looking for? A connection that isn't purely physical chemistry, that has depth and interest beyond the immaturity I am used to. Maybe I am deluding myself. Maybe "he" doesn't exist.

Is it wrong to want a gentleman who enjoys watching Pee-Wee's playhouse and laughing hysterically after a great day of hiking, topped off with a huge steak dinner?

I think the glass is still half full. He's out there...I just hope he's also attractive!

It's the BIG One! I am Going Straight to Hell

Look, I know I had tentitive reservations in Hell, but I think this post solidifies that I have secured a permanant table. I just couldn't resist this! And don't tell me that you wouldn't have reacted the same way. Here's the play by play: starting with the message he sent me and then followed by his profile...and yes, I am going to hell because without the picture, it's just not the same, so there is a picture. My comments will be in red throughout. Highlights of his words will be in yellow.Pray for me...


"Hockey fan needs a woman who is good in the corners,crashes the net,and
isn't afraid to drop the gloves when he challenges her"
"Howdy!
Good evening, ma'am. I hope this finds you well.

Have you always lived upstate? If not, then where else?

Tell me more about your job. What do you sell?

Play any sports? Any combat sports?

Anyway, I really hope to hear back from you soon. In the meantime, take care and thanks for reading.

--- N"

Remember the cartoon with the little dog who was always like "HuhSpike? Huh? Huh? What do you wanna do Spike? huh? Spike? Huh?" That's what that message reminded me of.




What I am looking for/About my date
Firstly, she has to understand that in my business, I could move around quite a bit. I want to be the best, and that could mean several steps along the way. Furthermore, the steps may contain lifestyles different from what most people have. For example, if I'm working in radio news, then she'll have to deal with me getting up very early and not staying up so late. If I'm working for a hockey team, then she'll have to deal with me being away from home on road trips. So, she has to follow YOUR career, deal with YOUR schedule and wait at home for YOU to come back from road tips etc? Are you sure you are looking for a girlfriend?, 'cause I think a blow up doll might suit your lifestyle better..."

Secondly, she has to be Catholic. My faith is incredibly important to me. If I have a dealbreaker, then it's this. I will want nothing to do with you if won't go to church with me. Gotta say this is actually a nice change. Most guys don't want to go to church at all or want to admit they have a faith.

Thirdly, she has to like sports, especially hockey. This is because I hope it's the center of my ultimate profession. The first girlfriend I had could never get into it. She bought tickets to a game as a Christmas present to me, and she didn't say a word for the first two periods. It's okay if you don't like hockey or any sports for that matter, but if you don't, then you're going to have to tolerate them greatly. Again, it's all about tolerating YOUR schedule and YOUR likes...What did you ever do for her?

We could call this Clause 3A: She can't hate the media. As someone who works in news, I have a great responsibility to the public. I can affect many lives without even meeting them. That's why if I ever do anything in that capacity, then I have to do it right. Unfortunately, many "media professionals" out there give the industry a bad name, especially in television. I guess that's why I'm glad I'm still in radio and not in TV. WTF? You are a sports reporter! The only thing you have a responsibility to is to get the names and scores correct. It's not national security! Oh, and I think we all know why you are still in radio...

Fourthly, family is important to me. I expect her to feel the same way. But if your family has any chance of making it to Jerry Springer's stage, then I'll want nothing to do with you.

Fifthly, no abnormal body modifications. Not only do I not find it attractive, but I think it's disgusting and potentially dangerous. Is he talking piercings and tatoos or boob enhancements and botox? I get it, but those are not abnormal these days.

For fun:
There's a line in "Sister Act 2" where Whoopi Goldberg says, "If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl."

In my case, I can't think of anything except sports, especially hockey.
Referencing "Sister Act 2" out of the hundreds of amazing movies out there? Danger Will Robinson! And if you can't think of anything other than sports, maybe a girlfriend is not in your cards.

My job:
I have two jobs. One is in Albany during the week, and the other is at West Point during the weekends. However, the one at West Point has nothing to do with military service.
So, again, when do you have time for a girlfriend? And Ooh! so mysterious with the West Point job!

My ethnicity:
I am a quarter Ukrainian, a quarter Italian, a quarter German, and a quarter French-Canadian. Now I get it, you're not fat, you're just big boned!

My education:
B. A. in journalism, Ithaca College, 2003 Minor in music as an oboe player It's always funny when large people play small instruments? I know a fat guy who plays piccolo...

Favorite hot spots:
I like traveling. That's one of the perks of working in sports. You get to see parts of the country that you otherwise wouldn't see. While working in Nebraska, I got to see Lambeau Field. While working in Mississippi, I got to see the Rockies. Um, the Rocky mountains are not in Mississippi. They begin in northern Canada and end in New Mexico. I am so glad that as a "media professional" you're not giving the rest of the gang a bad name!

Favorite things:
I'll eat anything. My favorite color is black. When it rains, I wouldn't mind running out there to either play football or roll in the mud. I wear a Stetson, so it's safe to say I love country music. I also like opera and other fine arts.
See why you needed the picture to tell the whole story? PS) Black isn't always the most slimming...

My pets:
My parents have a Balinese cat. A Balinese is a long-haired Siamese. This one believes she owns the house. And she's right.
That's your parent's pet, not yours. Wait there was a pic of him with the cat too. Sounds like someone still lives at home. And he HAS two jobs!!!!


I usually don't write back, but I felt I had to in this instance...

Hi N.

Thanks for your message but I don't think we match very well. I am Catholic, but not practicing at the moment. Also, it seems like you are looking for a girl who doesn't have a career of her own. No offense, but your schedule doesn't seem to account for her schedule/aspirations.

I wish you the best in your search. Stick to your guns on the religion topic...that is important:)

CC