The Match.com Experiment

Well, I did it. I signed up for Match.com. I know, I know, I said I would never be desperate enough to try it, and here I am. The guys I meet and am fixed up with lately are so immature and not men. I am sure it is a product of the area, but it is getting frustrating.

Actually what changed my mind was that all I have been hearing from recently engaged or married people is 'We met online!" Be it Match, Perfect Match, EHarmony or JDate, apparently this is where you can sift through the endless profiles and weed out the wackos to find someone decent. So why not? At least I will have some great fodder to breath some life back into this blog.

I was online about an hour tonight surfing through profiles, pics, and ridiculous tag lines when I received my first 4 winks, an IM and an email message.

The IM was first. He was annoyed because my age-range was "too narrow". I am sorry he is 51, but I don't think 30-40 is a narrow range. 16 years is a pretty wide age gap, and he looked like he just got home from a 2 week camping trip where he killed animals with his bare hands. Not my idea of boyfriend material.

The winks were pretty lame. I think one was a midget. I thought I put 5'9" as my height minimum? That may sound picky, but a girl has to wear heels!

I went back to perusing profiles and was appalled at the amount of available bachelors out there. I bet most of you ladies would be amazed that so many men, even the obesely overweight ones, who like to pose with their shirts off for their profile pic. That's definitely gonna get you noticed!

I did find a handful (literally 5 out of 100's) of guys with many of the attributes I am looking for. I chose their profiles based on the fact that they looked fairly normal, meaning no nudity, scary faces, or bad tag lines. They are now on my "favorites" list, whatever that means.

Then it was time to read the email message from "Rich". Check it:

"hello :)
im rich:)how r u i would like to talk to u"

His profile blurb read in part:

"hi im looking for that someone i can grow with n enjoy life for what it is:)
well im 31 divorced just want to enjoy life. I like to have fun cause some mischif:) be myself and to find someone who just wants to hangout at home or go out and hang out weather its to a movie or other things im not a picky person im opened minded to try anything i would like to find someone who is not looking for something serious right now but maybe in the future basicly i…"

I know what you are thinking. CC, How can you ignore such a wonderfully illiterate message? I wonder why he is divorced?

After my first hour of being on Match.com in upstate NY (I know, it's not really Match's fault)I have decided to revamp my profile. Let me know what you think:

Hi, I'm CC. I have a Bachelor's Degree, enjoy museums, movies, music of all types and have a wicked sense of humor. I am looking for a well-read, intelligent man who enjoys being active (that means you're not in danger of cardiac arrest because you took a walk to get the mail at the end of the driveway) who is looking for a partner in life (not just someone to clean your trailer and cook for you).

If you have a profile pic with no shirt on or say you are a fun guy but can't smile in a single picture, don't bother to contact me. If you have 4 chins, no teeth, are old enough to be my father, look like a crazed serial killer or are "just lookin' for a good woman" please resist the urge to wink at or IM me. Also, if you message me, please refrain from using text-speak and write like an adult male who has actually graduated from high school (or better yet college).

Check back often to see more of the Match.com experiment!