Exploration of Self: Step 1: Realization

Prepare for deep and introspective. Let me break down my 1/3 life crisis in 3 distinct areas (Past, Experience, Internal) for readability and understanding.

ONE. I grew up in a small town, with cautious parents and conservative values. I love my prents dearly, and my entire family as well, but I feel that certain things that have been impressed on me throughout my young life have hindered me in ways not apparent until just recently. I have always longed to travel the world, and had fantastic dreams of seeing new places and meeting interesting people of different cultures and backgrounds, hence the Anthropology degree...

I feel as if I have cheated myself by doing what is expected and being "afraid" to venture out away from family on my own and follow my heart. What was expected? The day in, day out, "normal" get a job with retirement and health benefits. This being the logical and safe route life holds for responsible people. I don't begrudge my family for instilling that set of values in me, it's the American way and it is responsible. I don't want to be a deadbeat, I just want to be happy in the choices I have made for myself, because in the end noone else will look back at my life and say "CC should have done this with her life, but she didn't". Only I will be affected by what I have and have not done.

TWO. As I look around at so many of my friends (and a few family members), I see that they have had such a wealth of experiences, mostly in traveling either for work or pleasure. When I step back and look at me, I wonder how I have managed to grow as a human being at all if I have never challenged myself and tested myself in new environments, away from the cozy familiarity that is home and family. Many times it is apparent that parts of me have laid stagnant, almost as if that 21 year old girl just graduating college is still here, immature and unaware of her talents and drive. That scares me, and makes me want to take action like nothing else. I am an interesting person, and I have a lot to offer the world. Why is that doubt of self still there (in more than one aspect of my life)? I have not pushed myself out of my comfort zone enough to be enlightened to my potential as a human being. What am I waiting for????

THREE. TRUST. I always thought I was a commitment-phobe. Actually, I am not afraid of commitment, I'd love a long term relationship right about now. What I have realized is that I find it hard to trust people, which in turn makes relationships impossible. My lack of trust builds my own personal Great Wall,(you know 25 feet high and 20 feet thick) and dumb aloof things come out of my mouth, confusing the other person. I am my own worst enemy and what's worse is many times I can't even trust myself. Trust is a delicate thing. I have to learn to put myself out there in order to really see what comes back...even if it means getting hurt. Who knows, I may be pleasantly surprised by taking that chance.

Everything is a character builder...the family values my parents instilled in me as a child, traveling and meeting new and interesting people, and even just trusting in something or someone. Whether I win or lose, am happy or sad, I learn something not only about myself, but about the situation, place or person involved. Life experiences are priceless, the more the better and I am not content with my current life path because of the lack of these, especially of late.

I WANT THE FIRE BACK! The passion for SOMETHING, anything that will make me feel like I am giving it all I've got and make me excited for each day. That begins with TRUST in myself that whatever I do, it is the right thing at the time, not worrying about the past but moving forward and letting go. Realization is the first step, I am ready for whatever is next.

File-Swap.com

The idea behind this site is that you submit a file (photo, sound or whatever) and you get a random file in return. These are what I received when I submitted files on File-Swap.com. Out of six swaps I saved 5 and now I am sort of addicted to it. Here are the 5, the kitten one is cute but the others are really cool, just wanted to show the variety you could get...

Thanks to Tabbi for sending these today!

I Need a Weekend to Recover from my Weekend...

Picnic at Piseco Lake
Saved a Big Toad at the homestead.
Took a ride with my brother-in-law on the Harley.


WOW. I am sooooo tired today. Campfires, picnics, cocktails and food with family and friends. Fun weekend, but damn, am I getting too old for this shit?

Umm...NEVER!

Work is crazy but good, and another long weekend will be upon us before you know it. Labor Day... Saturday I am helping to take my Niece Erin to College, but after that, you never know what the plans will be. There is talk already, so we'll see what surfaces.

Yep, you know it's fall when I get all jonsed up for some adventure. I am planning on doing some exploring this fall. Where? I don't know, but I have been in my hometown too much this summer and I need to get back to me. Perhaps I need to make a CC's Fall List of places to explore, yea?

Dark Knight Spoof...HahAhaHAHa!!

These Guys Are Hysterical! Bravo!

So Sad to See You Go Sammi...

Some sad news to post from a few weeks back with the passing of Kelly's dog Sammi. I had only met Sammi once and she was so CUTE! She seemed so happy to be with everyone at Kevin's grad party, even tho she was having difficulties. I am sure she is missed greatly and I wanted to send out my thoughts that we will never forget any of our animal friends because they truly are a part of the family!

Here is another shot of Sammi that I thought was so sweet! Thanks to Kim for sending me pics so I could post our little memorial to Sammi!

"The Tribe": A Review of a "Lost Boys" Sequel Wannabe

Where do I begin? I have been waiting to trash this movie for the last year. The wait is finally over! Let's start with a quick intro of the "plot" that you won't get from the movie: They obviously didn't want to fill in the gaps from the last 20 years or tell us any specifics!

"After their parents' (Michael and Star from the first film) death, Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink) and Nicole Emerson (Autumn Reeser) move to Luna Bay to live with their Aunt Jillian (Gabrielle Rose)."

OK. Now that you have that oh so important background, let's rip it to shreds, yea?

The Awful: Besides the bad acting and horrid plot (a little creativity would've helped WB!) there is much awful to be said.

1. Corey Feldman, dude! You are too old for this shit, and you are SUCH an overactor!! He actually USED THE EDGAR FROG VOICE people! Probably half of his lines were ver verbatim from Lost Boys 21 years ago and were overused references to a movie that I don't consider being related to this film at all.



2. Just because your name is Sutherland, does not mean you are automatically a sexy lead man! "Shane" was so not sexy as the vampire leader of the gang and his expressions/walk and voice sounded like he was a mentally challenged blood sucker! Get off that motorcycle the short bus is coming!!



3. The thin plot and unanswered questions: Where does Aunt Jillian fit in, if Nicole and her brother are the children of Michael and Star, wouldn't they know all this shit already and not fall prey to a bunch of bloodsuckers? AND wouldn't they know who Edgar Frog was??? Come on! If Uncle Sammy was a vampire, I think they would know it. What exactly happend to Allen Frog? WTF happened to Sam Emerson? What is "all the shit that happened" that is mentioned but never explained between Sam and Edgar etc? and Shane was the HEAD Vampire??? We kept hearing them talk about it, but at the end there was no twist like Max...YAWN!



4. Why was it called The Tribe? They weren't an indigenous people who were vampires! The only mention of it was a line that Shane spoke about joining "the tribe". The movie was so dumb they should have had a dumb title that at least explained it a bit like maybe "The Surfer Gang" or "The Joke"



5. OMG! One of the vamps enjoyed yelling and laughing in immitation of the Lost Boys! It was so stupid and became more and more laughable because everytime he was in a scene he did it! Apparently if I were to turn into a vampire, I would yell and laugh like that too...Wait, sometimes I do sound like that... Alright! Who spiked the wine!!!!


6. I have to say, Nicole and her brother did not have a hard choice to make. The absence of parents or loving family members acting as a moral and ethical compass, as well as living in a shithole apartment that your Aunt is gouging you for would have made the decision of "To be or not be be?" (a vampire that is) extremely easy. hmmm, let's see...Live in a cool vamp pad in an abandoned coal mine complete with leather furnishings, big flatscreen tv, game system and a four poster bed to die for, no bills to pay, party all night sleep all day AND never grow old???? Where do I sign up?

The Gratuitus: Holy ridiculous nudity and sex scenes people! It was like whenever they could they threw some bare breasted bimbos who were living out the fantasies of 40 year old men still living in their parent's basement! Oh, and the gore was laughable: intestinal spillage and arterial spray to the max, this movie definately had a fascination with blood and guts. Come to think of it, I bet the guys who wrote this WERE 40 year olds that live in their Parent's basement!!!!

The Uncalled for: The campfire scene where the guys prey on the girls with them was really unsettling...As a female this scene was hard to watch since it was so blatently played out as a metaphor for a gang "rape". This was NOT appreciated. Not that any type of violence is funny when taken into account the reality of it, but this was really disturbing to me.

The Hysterically Ridiculous: I gotta say that there were a few moments where I literally thought I would have some intestinal spillage of my own laughing so hard: Here they are:

1. The sax player on the street corner: Scene 4. Within 30 seconds, You see a dude playing a Sax on the street corner in an homage to The Lost Boys. This was unexpected and absolutely HYSTERICAL. We actually went back after the movie and watched that 5 second craziness again. I tried to find a pic, but couldn't. Here is the original gross guy from The Lost Boys: put 50-60 pounds on him, change the pants to black spandex and add 20 years...Now THAT is funny!
   



2. There were some lines that were a riot as well; "Who ordered the stake? ", "Do you smell that? It smells like death and fungus. It's Vampire BO.", "Your sister's a suck monkey. " "Pop goes the Weasel" and "I almost ATE that guy! DO you know what it's like to CRAVE blood? Oh my God! Do you know how disgusting that is???...I'm a vegetarian!"

If you want a good laugh at a movie that is as bad as we all thought it would be, wait until you can borrow it for free from your public library! if for nothing else, just to see the dude on the corner playing Sax!!!

Hey Warner Brothers! David and the boys are coming over to talk to you about your "Straight to DVD Division" and they are NOT happy!

Tuesday Night Bloodbath!

Yes, tonight is the screening of the highly unanticipated sequel to the classic vampire movie "The Lost Boys".

Curiosity, as usual, killed the cat (tho, I'm no cat) and I HAVE to watch this ridiculousness called "The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe"

I said I wouldn't watch it unless I could have friends of like-minds band together to view it, so Chantal and Susan are coming over tonight to feast their eyes on the movie we have all been dreading...but oddly still dying to see. I will have a full review tomorrow for sure!

I really wanted to end this post on a line from "The Lost Boys" but I just can't bring myself to link them in any way. Good God I cannot believe I am going to watch this blasphemy!! At least I will be in good company!!!!!:)

Friday Dance Party with Evan Dee!

Nice! Jack is such a good boy!!!

Thursday Thoughts

A quickie since work is crazy hectic! Sometimes, some things will not leave my mind so I can move on to something else (that something else being actual work!!)so I will get this out of my system:

1. The Police are auctioning off some instruments on Ebay for the benefit of public television. If you win any of the bids, thanks, I will never forget your generosity! (haha)
2. THE BEST Review of The Dark Knight EVER! I stumbled upon this this morning and was shocked to see that a Catholic website understood this movie and therefore didn't damn it. I was so glad to read that the author "got it". I couldn't have said it better. Please read it here: http://www.catholicexchange.com/2008/07/26/113306/
3. I have started a new book. It is called "The Crystal Skull" by Manda Scott. It is sort of interesting, because it seems to be more historically grounded than say Indy 4, but that's not exactly hard to do is it? I hope I can get into it. It's sort of boring so far.
4. I used to be a daring girl fashion wise. I was always ahead of the curve thanks to my sister Linda who was at college and bringing back cool styles in the 80's. Now I basically wear black, no prints, not too many colors. Call me boring, but I call me economical. Everything matches everything else! So, when I come to work in a print...watch out! Everyone comments! It's really funny to see people's reactions: "Color!" " A Flower Print? Wow!" etc.
5. Chantal and I are heading to Applebee's to hang out and catch up tonight after work. Next week she and Susan are coming over to view "The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe" which should be a riot! I also have a get-together with my friend Cyndi at some point hopefully next week. We are trying to get a group together to do dinner. Now that I have resolved to stay put and not move this fall, I am thinking of having a party at my apartment, or a few actually. I have been working too hard and not having much fun outside family gatherings and I really need to get back into my social life!

Okay that's my thursday thoughts. Now I can get back to work...:)

Have a GREAT day Everyone!

I admit it, This was FUNNY!

I hate Paris Hilton, but she actually gained a few points with me on this ad spoof. Seriously, this is freaking hysterical!

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Evan's Dance Party!

Thanks to Alysa who filmed and edited this hysterical video of Evan!

The Police: LIVE!!!!!

Hey, now we can say we got our picture taken with the police...thanks Kim!

Oh, the wait...WAS WORTH IT!!!

Elvis Costello opened. He was great! Sting even came out and sang one with Elvis!

Elvis rocked out. The Man has an AMAZING voice!!! I need to get more of his tunes into my collection!

My pics of Elvis came out, but not the Police so Tom had to take some, those are below.

While we waited for The Police to come on stage.

The anticiaption was building! (and Tom is texting)


Carol and her air quotes...must have been a good story huh Kevin? Tom is STILL texting!


For perspective we were at the fence dividing the seats from the lawn... We had binoculars and a great view from where we stood. I couldn't have been happier (with exception to seats inside of course! ):)

Tom did well to get shots of the band: Stewart Copeland on the drums and Andy Summers on the guitar.

Stewart was twisted and extremely entertaining! (this shot is of the big screen)

Andy and Sting on the big screen.

Big screen shot of Stewart. I enjoyed yelling "Stewart!!!" at various points of the concert. (To tell you the truth, these pics are on my screensaver and every-so-often I still yell "Stewart!!", tho not as loud since I am at work!)


My favorite of the Sting Screen shots...awesome Tom!

Sting was amazing (looking and sounding both vocal and bass), Stewart was a riot and even tho Andy was sort of like a wet rag in comparison, they played well and put on a great show. Look how that passion shows through on Sting's face! These guys had fun and made sure we did too.

The Police LIVE! Can you EVEN STAND IT!? I was just so amazed that I was there to see them (along with 20,000 other people!). I never thought I would have the chance to see one of my favorite bands of all time in concert!

IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE!

Absentee Friday

I love the fact that I can write a post and have it go live at a later date!

I am off today enjoying the company of family and going to see:
Elvis Costello is opening. I can't even tell you how excited I am about this concert! This is THE concert I have been waiting to see for 28 years!

Besides homocidal tendencies due to the plethora of stupidity that has surrounded me this week, I am finally free of work and looking forward to an exciting and relaxing 3 day weekend.

How about some quizzes, thanks to Wiccachicky's LiveJournal!

You Are a Blueberry Flavored Popsicle

You are a very unusual person. For you, summer is all about adventure and travel. You are brilliant and bright. Your mind is always sharp and working at full capacity. You seek out new and different experiences. You get bored very easily. You are very creative. Of all of the types, you're the most likely to invent a new popsicle.

What Flavor Popsicle Are You?

You Are Clogs

You are a solid and down to earth person. You seek – and almost always achieve – a really sound balance in your life. You are stylish yet comfortable. Mellow but driven. Excited yet calm. You are the perfect mesh of contradictions. No matter what happens, you have the ability to stay well grounded in your life. People know that they can truly depend on you. You should live: In Europe You should work: At a company dedicated to helping the world

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Oh and this is hysterical!:

For some reason, msn was posting an article about "The Italian Spiderman". I HAD to click on it and this is the link to what I found: THE ITALIAN SPIDERMAN

No Seriously People! WATCH IT!