Movie Lines: Test Your Knowledge

Well, Since I am on the topic of movies, I thought I might throw out some good lines from movies and see how many y'all can guess. Some are obvious and others are more obscure depending on what movies you like to watch. I thought this might be fun! So get out your pen and paper, write down your answers and check back here next week to find out how many you got right! Then post a comment to let me know!!!

1.“Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger”

2.“Egyptian Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.”

3. “The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true.”

4.“Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.”

5.“Follow. But. Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.”

6. "My name is Bruno Houtenfaust. I was named for a Saint who was a very wealthy man. He had the wine, the women, the songs, the whole bit, and then inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and became a hermit. Ran off to live in the forest, in the nude. "

7.“I woke up this morning and I just hated everything.”

8.“Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.”

9. “I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.”

10. “The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys like tongue?”

11. “No more goat soup”

12.“Well, the problem is you can't fight off an army of blood-thirsty Vikings with a shenai, it's illogical.”
”No, no, see, you're lulling them into submission with the music. See, that's the whole point of the song, really, mystic surrender.”

13. “It's the so-called "normal" guys that always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.”

14. “In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...”

15. “I have two guns, one for each of ya”

Bonus: “Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?”
“Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?”

All Questions worth 6 points. Bonus worth 10 points!!!

There you have it!!! I think you will find these challenging!! Right Then! Get to it and have fun!!

PS) IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! "I Don't wanna work, I just wanna post on me blog all day!" Sing it!!

Halloween Movie Fest 2005!

Hello Boys and Ghouls! Here’s a scary thought: It’s almost October! Fall is here and with it the spooky season that’s tons of fun...Halloween! Here is a short list of some movies for your viewing pleasure!

I just recently saw the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As low budget and goofy as is seems, (“Grandpa does the best killin’”) this movie was pretty disturbing. While it is said to be based on true events, it wasn’t a true story. The scariness was made possible because it was filmed like a grainy home movie and the fact that you were thinking something similar to this actually happened. I recommend you see this classic at least once and pretend it was a true story b/c it’s scarier that way!

Wrong Turn: Crazy kids break down in the forests of Virginia, only to be hunted by cannibalistic, inbred “Monkey Men”. It is very similar in scare tactics to Chainsaw, though it is a modern take. Turn off the lights and prepare to be freaked out! There are some AWESOME edge of your seat suspense scenes and I rate this as a must see for the Halloween season.

The Grudge. My friend Carolyn LOVED this movie. I however do not ever want to see it again I was so disturbed by it. This is creepy, freaky, nightmarish stuff here folks. Well, at least for me. I have to say; it is an interesting movie, so see it at least once.

Abbot and Costello Meet Dracula This is a classic! How can you not like Abbot and Costello? My favorite comedy team, these two add some fun and hijinx to an old horror standard. Something everyone in the family can watch and enjoy together!

The Crow. The first, the original, accept no imitations (that means the sequels!) Brandon Lee, in what would have been his defining role to break his career wide open, died while filming this. They stitched the remaining unfilmed portions up for continuity and came out with a hauntingly eerie story of love, and revenge. I wouldn’t recommend for anyone under 17, but once you are of age, this movie rocks!! FIRE IT UP!! FIRE IT UP!!

The Lost Boys. THE defining modern vampire movie. Mom and 2 sons move to a coastal California town, only to find out that it is crawling with vampires!! A great story, amazing music, cute guys, and the 2 Coreys. What more could you ask for?

The Mummy (with Brendan Fraser, Oded Fehr and Arnold Vosloo) Heck, I watch this all year ‘round! Treasure hunters and archaeologists uncover the City of the Dead and unknowingly resurrect Imhotep, a mummy who brings with him the 10 Plagues of Egypt. It’s campy, it’s funny, and it’s Egypt!!! I hope isn’t it illegal to have that many hot guys in one movie!!

A few scary movies I haven’t seen so don’t kill me (no pun intended) are the original Halloween, and Salem’s Lot. These are high on my viewing list this year. Of course there are classics like Psycho, The Shining, Carrie, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Exorcist. Perhaps Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, the Scream trilogy, or I Know What You Did Last Summer are your picks for some good scares. I like to make a new list each year and have some ghoulishly good fun! Make your own creepy list and enjoy! If you dare!

Evil, thy name is Pie Hole

Have you ever had the family member from hell? I am sure we all have at one point or another. You know the one you have to walk on eggshells when they are around so she doesn’t have a psychotic break in front of the entire family? Let me share a story about my experiences with an individual we like to call many names, tho Pie Hole has stuck universally.

My family, tho sometimes over-protective of their own, is a generous, happy, loyal bunch. I may be biased and it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, but we are good people. Then one day one of my brothers married a shrew. Yeah I am talking straight from Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” and this bitch is worse than fair Kate. She has grown fatter with each child she has spawned and her psychotic bouts have become more numerous. A simple email inviting one to the house for a birthday begins nicely enough but Pie Hole always gets a pot shot in to let you know she‘s inviting you because she HAS to not because she WANTS to.

Can you imagine listening to her berate your family members in front of you or kick your beautiful yellow lab (who would have moved if you simply asked her) to get her out of her way? Meanness and jealousy swirl around her like a fat man’s gas after a bean bake off. The woman is EVIL in its truest form. Hide your Dalmatians cause fat ass wants a new coat!

In her eyes, my family is a bunch of idiots. We don’t do the right things, say the right things or wear the right things. It’s amazing to think this comes from a woman who has a family of misfits: Her parents are alcoholics, her sister is a psycho and both her father and sister have stayed in the loony bin for a period of time. Her brother who has moved away from it all seems to be the only smart one of the bunch. She was an upper middle class girl who thinks she is high society and deserves to live as high society. Her husband makes a decent living and they live very comfortably, but not to the extent that she wants. She has yet to join the workforce after having children to pay for the extravagant lifestyle she so longs for. She is the apex of sloth. Imagine for a moment Jabba the Hut lounging around her palatial palace eating like a pig and watching talk shows stopping briefly to send angry emails to people in my family. She is a lazy fat turd that needs to be flushed down the toilet bowl of life.

People like her are put here to torture those of us who are trying to do the right things. My family has bent over backwards to make things run smoothly the few times a year we have to be subjected to her. We have been extremely patient and taken this abuse year after year so we can see the 3 girls and our sibling. Recently, thru 15 years of her demon-like demeanor many of us have stopped pulling punches. I guess it’s time for the gloves to come off and you know what? Next time she says something nasty about my family…Pie Hole is goin’ down!!!

Celebrity Egos, Priorities and other Annoyances

This little bit of insight comes forth from the frustration that is "Hollywood" and the fact that it's fun to rip on celebrities. Obviously I know a bit about these subjects b/c I have read about them (or had them thrown at me in every magazine and tv tabloid known to man). I am just as guilty as everyone else. However, I tend to read these things and shake my head in disbelief thinking to myself "There are children starving, people fighting wars and dying for their freedoms and these people are obsessing about being snubbed at a boutique or who wore what to the Emmys." Priorities People!!! Get some!

SOOO... Oprah's over her supposed diss at Hermès' Paris boutique. All I know is that Oprah showed up 15 minutes AFTER closing and they wouldn't let her in. Big deal! Come on Oprah, I've worked in retail, it's draining. At the end of your work day, if someone came to you and demanded you stay late just b/c they couldn't get there on time wouldn't you be a bit annoyed? I certainly would, it's happened to me before. People want to end their day and get home to their LIVES. Some people are so inconsiderate and selfish and they think the world revolves around them. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot...she's Oprah.

Jen, Brad and Angie. Haven't we heard enough about this? Seriously folks, anyone who believes that a Hollywood marriage is for real should get their nose out of the fairytale book. I am not condoning cheating or whatever it is that happened there but these people have completely different sets of rules to their lives than we do. Take Brad Pitt: "Sexiest Man Alive", travels the world and portrays fantastic characters in amazing locations and is surrounded by beautiful women all the time. Kinda makes life seem a bit mundane for us regular Joes and Janes huh? The temptations are ten fold in Hollywood folks, and actors are always looking for that next big thing to take them to the top of the heap. Underneath it all, these "stars" are nothing like us. They are fame junkies who are slaves to their own selfish ambitions.

Paris Hilton? Don't even get me started on this vapid, dog -faced tartlette. I am still completely surprised that anyone even cares what she does. The "That's Hot" Snot needs a reality check. I'd say a reality show about Paris and some hard core Peace Corp work would be watchable. I'd make her do some real down and dirty work, live in a tent, no makeup, no Prada, no Gucci, build some houses, fertilize and plant a field...you know, worthwhile projects to help others. Boot Camp is what she needs. She is the embodiment of everything that is without in our society today.

I guess I could go on and on about many Hollywood annoyances..."Hey P Diddy! Why don't you give the money it cost to throw one of your "famous parties" to a worthy charity? Or are you P Diddly Squat!?"

The Fabulous life of...

For my Very first Blog!!! A silly little post written in desperation! Enjoy!

"The Fabulous Life of The Executive Assistant to the President"

On tonights episode... "Will Cheryl get the coffee made in time for the meeting?"

At 9:30am Cheryl is summoned to make coffee for the executive meeting taking place at 10 am...will she have enough time to adequatly stock the meeting room with coffee, creamer, sugar and mugs? She desperately calls on Linda to come down and monitor the phones while she attempts this amazing task. Racing upstairs Cheryl finds mugs, creamer and sugar. She begins brewing decaf and regular coffee. The Elite like their choices. Then the Boss interrupts her to fax a few things. "No Problem!" Cheryl announces as she changes gears and faxes the documents. It's 9:50am! Only 5 minutes before everyone starts to arrive for the meeting!!! She jets to the kitchen to pour the cofees in Karafs, double checks to make sure she has everything in order...but wait!!! Stirring spoons are needed! She races back to the kitchen and finds a stirring spoon. "One will have to do" she thinks. Miraculously she has managed to make coffee and set up a meeting, fax documents and she even has time to make a stop at the ladies room and get a fresh cup of coffee for herself before returning to reception.



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And now back to "The Fabulous life of The Executive Assistant to the President"

Many young women will surely aspire to be "Executive Assistant to the President" after hearing of the adventures of Cheryl! Obviously coffee and faxes are the stuff dreams are made of! Surely corporate America would not run as smoothly without them! Imagine what a 4 year degree can do for you! Preparation for a career in the field of "Executive Assisitant to the President!" How else could one use their talents to their fullest potential!?

Tune in next week for another exciting adventure of "The Fabulous Life of THe Executive Assistant to the President"..."Travel Arrangement Test: Can Cheryl Book Hotel and Airfaire in one afternoon?"

Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Unfortunately the stories are true.