Fun with Muammar Gaddafi!

Sunglasses, outrageous outfits and wild hand gestures seem to make this Libyan Dictator stand out, and not in a good way. His mental illness, as most dictators eventually express because of their delusions of omnipotence, is there for all to dissect. This week, let's have some fun at Muammar's expense. Here are a few of my first thoughts, enjoy!


80's movies always had interesting takes on fashions of the future. Here is a comparison you might enjoy. Everyone remembers the Future Dudes from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", right?


The plaque on his desk actually says "Coalition of Time Travelers, Cabinet Member, 1980's Movie Reference Research Division"


Dr. Seuss might have something to say about the similarities here:


"I will use it IN my car
I will use it ON my car
If it rains or if it's sunny
Umbrellas are quite funny!"


More on tap tomorrow!

Writing Clarification

In my last post, I may have misstated my reason for putting together a portfolio. I did mention a "career choice" which is not exactly truthful. It would be more of a freelance thing in local newspapers, or eventually trying to approach a magazine that fits my style of writing, but nothing more serious than that. I realize I have no real experience in writing, with exception to the business and marketing writing I have done for jobs. I can't count this blog as experience simply because it was created and maintained on a whim, explaining it's unfocused and incredibly varied content.

Writing is something I enjoy doing. Let's face it: if you are a reader of this blog it's not because I'm the most intelligent, technical or enlightened writer. You read it because it makes you laugh. I spew forth whatever I think is funny and if it makes you laugh I have accomplished my goal. Whether you comment, email or speak to me in person, thanks for appreciating my blog and my sense of humor.

HELP Me Build a Portfolio!

I thought I would try to post from my iPod today. Yes, my iPod. I guess this is a good way to keep my posts short and readable!
We will see how this turns out.

I need the your help gentle readers. Yeah, you! Whether you have commented on posts or enjoy lurking, now is the time to speak up!
I am putting together a "portfolio" of my writing and hoped if there were a few posts that stuck out you could recommend them for inclusion.
If you think I am crazy or that it's about time I got off my ass and tried my hand at writing for a career choice please let me know as well. Constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome!

Have you ever put together a portfolio? From artwork to writing samples it must all work the same, but if you have experience in this area I would love to hear any advice. I assume I need an array of writing styles from serious to humorous, researchy to pure fiction. Yep. I said researchy...blame Joss Whedon. Also, if you have a topic for a post in an area you think I am lacking in, let me know and I will get on it.

Signing off from my iPod (which is sort of a slow and painful way to post on a blog),

CC

Puke Enducing Message

At this point on match I am getting the guys who winked at me 3 months ago and either forgot or decided to give it another try. A few crusty old men and more of the same. It is getting old and very boring.

This guy sent me an email and I think you will remember him from Fun With Profiles & Pics Part 2: (Click the pic to enlarge for readability)



I think I need to go throw up now.


In other news, the winter weather canceled both of my second dates a while back. Winter is sort of hard to navigate especially with all the snow and bad driving conditions around here this season. Oh well!

Hello, My Name is Low Self-Esteem, Wanna Date?

I feel especially bad for this guy, because he probably is nice enough, he just never got the memo about focusing on the positive. Would you start your cover letter with "I'm not very good at this and you probably won't hire me, but here are my qualifications anyway..."? Yea. I didn't think so. Check this out:

He sent me this email:
"Hello
I'm not good at this so I'd thought I'd drop a line and just say hi. If you're not interested, well then I guess I won't here back. If you are, and I know my profile isn't the best piece of writing, ask away and I can elaborate. I do have two little princesses which isn't what you're looking for, but if you change your mind..."


After that I really didn't want to even look at his profile. For some reason, I didn't have the warm fuzzies, go figure! Part of his main Profile opener was at the top of the email so here is part of that. Nothing like beating a dead spider! (sorry, I don't like envisioning dead horseys. Dead spiders on the other hand, no problem!)

Honest, dependable with a touch of clown and a lot to offer...I can be your special someone.
First off, it's not the best photo of me, but it'll have to do. Not sure on what to write and never thought I'd be doing this, so don't rush to judgment on what I put, please. It's hard to meet people and break the ice, so I figure this might help. I'm not a great writer, especially when it comes to myself, but here goes...

I love the main hook line: a touch of clown That can be scary...especially when he clearly isn't a psycho clown but a sad, depressed, negative, low self-esteem clown. (insert B-Horror movie scream here)

He also makes reference to the fact that he has two little princesses in his email...that is exactly why I do not want a guy who already has kids. If you call your little girls princesses or refer to them as such to others, there is a MAJOR issue there. In my experience, they are spoiled brats who rule the roost. Sorry, I don't put up with that shit, especially from kids who are not biologically my own. Judge me if you must, but that is not the dynamic I am looking for. I am not planning on changing my mind on my preferences regarding children, education and religion, EVER.

Was that last rant a psycho moment? LOL. Hey, I have strong convictions. That's a good thing!

Ode to a Crazy-Ass Classmate

This past week has reminded of the new wave sounds of that popular 80's band Duran Duran and how they must have felt when compiling their Greatest hits album entitled "Decade" in 1989 on the EMI Records label.

(OK. Not really, but in the spirit of parody and keping in mind that I was actually listening to that afore mentioned Duran Duran compilation, hang on to your potatos!)

So here goes my Ode to K, the crazy-ass classmate, who writes insane and ridiculous posts and poetry, keeping the discussion boards of my web design class interesting. Funny, she hasn't made a peep in the discussion from Lesson 7...


It's "The Reflex" she said
and the understanding of the universe
It's not "The Union of the Snake"
Tugging, tugging, tugging at your purse.

Don't "Save a Prayer" for me now
"I'm Hungry Like The Wolf", drinking milk from a cow
The whales and the fishes in the sea
Hear the call of the web pages that be.

"Her name is CC and I dances on the sand
and when she codes, she truly shows you all she can"
Html and links, a website 'bout a boardwalk way out west
"CC you're something special, cause your coding is the best!"

I've worked so hard on assignments 6 and 7
All of my quizzes have been 100's thank heaven!
Maybe because I do the reading and practice on my own
Listening to Duran Duran and their catchy tone.

"Wild Boys!" and "Girls on Film"
I know a potter who has a kiln
Match.com will resume next week
Although I think I am past my peak!


Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

K: Off Topic and Off Her Rocker

I am not sure what she means about "direct input", and seeing as though a majority of this post is not even remotely related to the class, I shudder to think what her next post will be. Don't worry, I am sure it will be increasingly screwy and you know I will post that. Why? Because you just can't make this shit up! (I think that would be a great title for my late night cable comedy series. Late night cable because you can't say 'shit' on the networks!)

Please keep the direct input. Moreover, the direct input mode is the very screen that teaches each of everyone of us, to think about what we are writing while designing web-pages. By the way, I remember the last fairly short poem that I wrote. I have another poem for which I really give clear reference to musician Edwin Star, regarding his Fall of 1970 hit called "War!" My poem is caled taking the easy way out.

"Taking the easy way out!
What is it, and what will it be all about!
Definately zero or nothing.
Taking the easy method at solving problems only leads to much, much deeper trouble.
For if you should take the easy way out at solving problems, you better get back in shape on
the very double.
For taking the easy way out, as to solving many problems could lead to disaster astrey!
For taking the easy way out on solving problems can't provide any of us peaceful futures.
It can only strip them away."

Karen
02/05/2011


For some reason, I feel a poem coming on. Check in tomorrow!

K's 1st Poem (& other Gobbledygook)

OK. Seriously you guys. If you can understand this post and the "poem" that follows, kudos! I am completely perplexed and have read it a few times and still cannot make sense of parts. I am still wondering what the "" quote marks mean, and am convinced it is another personality interjecting their comments and questions into Karen's posts. "Craig" is the Instructor, and "all of you guys" must mean the rest of the class, even though only one brave classmate tried to help in her second post. No one has commented since. It's getting creepier y'all, so hang on!


Well, Hello, Craig, and all of you guys:

To begin with, after arround eight to ten tries, I finally dd well on the assignmen of chapter 6. Moreover, I am still reading and studying chapter 6 just before I take the quiz later on on Saturday, Febuary 05, 2011. Furthermore, because I want to do at least reasonably well on the lesson 6 quiz, I decided to re-read lessons one through five. "By the way, I found out that note-pad really works better than Word Pad would at designing millions of web-pages. Moreover, I'm so spatially glad that you have the direct input item that I could use" "Do any of you guys realize that I almost borded my way even further South West bound to by a web program where I could design thousands of web-pages. As a matter of fact I really feel the very same way that the group "Paper Lace felt, during the early autumn of 1974 (late August 1974 to early October 1974) when they produced the song called "The Night Chicago Died." Well, I really have the same type of poem, and I can assure you that when I wrote this unique poem, I still really give reference to the music group of Paper Lace. However, since I visuallized myself running, sailing, swimming, and traveling North West bound, I labled my poem The Night That Salem Died."

"It was an early autumn Friday night!
We were each walking, running, and heaading for the North West North Pacific coast.
And, on that very Autumn Friday night, we were ready to swim the North Pacific sea at are most."
"And, on that early autumn Friday night, we were each ready to dive into the North Pacific sea at
a very giant leap. Thus, on that Autumn Friday night, we each dove into the North Pacifc sea very, very deep.'
"I heard the North Pacific cry!"
'I was totally frightened on the night that Salem died"
"I heard from all those troubled North Pacific sea creatures, as they would whale and cry.
I was firghtend the night that salem died."

karen


I am speechless. No one can prepare you for this kind of crazy.

Another of Karen's prose up tomorrow!

K is Spacially Abstract!

First of all, what can I do when I can't get the web-page validator to accept my chapter 6 work which is saved in note-pad? Furthermore, I just found out today, that I can't find a text editor on my computer. The only thing I have is note-pad. How can I purchase a text editor that I need immediately?

Karen
g-mail: #####@gmail.com
02/04/2011

Furthermore, from the following exercise, I have an additional idea.

Hey Karen! Note pad IS a Text-Editor!! Good GOD woman! She then proceeds to paste html code into the discussion board post for her web page that we were asked to write code for for the assignment. Here is the content so you can see the pattern of thinking, or perhaps crazy that is Karen.

She clearly has no idea what she is doing. I colored it Orange to keep it consistent that it is her words. her code is atrocious, so I left it alone with exception to the multiple spaces she puts everywhere, which don't matter anyway. The Web page title and description tags should contain your keywords, (and are invisible on the web page itself and useful to search engines) but the only keywords they have in common are 'Karen' and 'art' which isn't very productive.

Her title tags contain: "Karen's Space Bound Art"
Her description tags contain: "Karen's Abstract Three and Four Dimensional Graphic Art"

Welcome to Karen's Spatially Abstract Art!

I, Karen, have numerous, complicated computer paint, and hand-painted pictures of numerous, complex obtjects.� Moreover, all of these computer and hand-made drawing and paintings are detailed photos of many very abstract objects.� Finally, I have many more paint pictures, both computer-paint and hand-painted, of the Most Complex Object in our known universe--The Human Brain.

Your text here.

Way to go Karen! You are absolutely off your nut!

Next up, Karen writes a poem to share on the discussion board!

K Strikes Again!

Obviously the instructors comments on her first discussion topic were ignored. She even puts her full name and email address do that everyone in the class can see it! I am tempted to take it and sign her up for bi-polar meds and counseling session newsletters online. But I digress...

I need help locating a text editor for my personal computer.
by: Karen

'How do I get a text editor to work with my computer? I need an html text editor for my computer riht now! How do I get one? I have looked everywhere on the Road Runner Internet. "Please, how do I get the text editor that I need!?" "I need this text editor e-mailed to my google e-mail account immediately!" "Please, mail me a text editor to #####@gmail.com."
Sincerely,
K L. H
02/04/2011

I think someone just figured out that she should have gotten the text-editor questions out of the way earlier because this post seems antsy and impatient. The terminology she uses points to the fact that the has NO IDEA about web technology..."I have looked everywhere on the Road Runner Internet." I bet she thinks Al Gore created the Internet too! She needs to take a deep breath, and READ THE CHAPTERS!!!

We've Got A Live One Here!

I am currently taking a Web Design Class online and couldn't resist posting the ravings of a lunatic in the class. Match has been more of the same, so I figured this would rejuvenate the content and hopefully continue to make you smile. You college-folks (you know who you are!) will most likely have a ton of these stories in your experience, but it might be fun for you anyway. :)

Before I get to her actual discussion posts, I have to give some background. This class is about creating web pages from scratch. We are learning html tags, inserting pictures, creating links, and other basics of web design. This class is great for beginners, specially those without much computer or web knowledge. It also delves deep enough for those of use who have some background and need to solidify what we already know as well as move forward with some new skills.

We have just begun the 6th (out of 12) class. We have covered everything from What the web is and how it works to basic SEO practices at this point. I have not noticed this classmate in the 5 other discussions we have had thus far, and she seems to be way behind considering she is still worrying about a text-editor halfway through the class syllabus. Also, as I had said earlier, the instructor starts from scratch so that people with limited web and computer experience can follow. He explained what a text-editor is, where to find it on your computer and how to download one from the web. he also explained why we use Notepad as opposed to Word pad or Word.

Basically, this woman is a nut-job. She obviously is not reading the chapters or paying attention at all. Now she is flooding the Chapter 6 discussion board with her ravings and also, as you will see, her poetry. Again, my friends, you can't make this shit up! Without further ado, here is her first post:


I am working at understanding where to begin. I believe the most effective thing for me to do would be to re-read chapter 4, lesson 6.
by: K
"Oh, by the way, I think that I figured it out." Moreover, although notepad is really great, word-pad is really helping me to receive even better clues. "In other words, since I will continue to use the note-pad, I also recommend the use of word-pad. By the way, I best understand the concept of key-words and/or keyword phrases.

Sincerely,
K
02/04/2011
Writing to you at 15:50 Hours, Central-Standard-Time.


I love how she signs off. She actually put her full name and middle initial but I got rid of it for obvious reasons. I am not sure what the quoted lines mean. Are they different voices than that of the regular lines? Perplexing? Just wait!

An instructor wrote her back and tried to explain that word pad is NOT to be used, and referred her back to the chapter about text-editors. As you will see, the instructors efforts are futile, as after two crazy posts, they stop responding.

Current Events: Egypt Riots

We have all seen the horrible unrest in Egypt unfold over the last week. Let me say that this seems to be a delicate situation that is starting to turn violent, which is never good. Before I rant about my personal concerns and make some jokes in bad taste, I want to let you all know that I truly understand how serious this situation is. I hope the Egyptian people can figure this out to their liking and to ours as well without the loss of life and limb, but I think we all know that freedom isn't free.

Aside from the real political and social repercussions of these riots, and those around the region, I am VERY concerned for the Cairo Museum and the wealth of history within its walls. I was heartbroken to hear that looters had stolen artifacts and ruined mummies! What made me so happy was to hear that civilians had taken up guarding these treasures from looters. I am glad that it seems most of the Egyptian people understand the importance of their grand history and it's need for preservation. I still worry, though, with the escalation in violence that further harm will be done. Hopefully the Egyptians realize that without their history and preservation of monuments and artifacts from ancient times they would have no tourist activity there and tourism equals money. I pray Dr. Hawass and his antiquities staff have secured or moved what they can.

Just saw this article: VERY INTERESTING

---

And now, let's be silly!

Have you ever noticed how when you watch riots, especially in the middle east, they always look like an ancient version of Mega-Doge ball? Think about it. Guys lined up on each side of the street throwing rocks at each other. The rules are slightly different though: If you get hit, you are not out... unless it renders you unconscious!

There were reports of women and children getting caught up in the violence in the square. Well, here's a tip chicks and kids: If you don't want to get hurt, stay out of the RIOTS!

This is horrible to say, but every time an Egyptian on the street involved in the riots is interviewed, all I can think of is this one line in that 80's classic "Jewel of the Nile" starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny Devito. In speaking of the leader of the country a man says "Omar is very bad man!" in a very thick accent. Anyone else remember that?




All kidding aside, I hope the Egyptian people can move forward in peace and harmony. The region is a powder keg and I would hate to see what happens if it should explode further.

Striking a Balance: Too Little vs. Too Much

Here are a few emails I have gotten this week that seem to be on one side of the spectrum or the other. Some say too little, some say too much. Comments in Pink today!

freestyle said:
"do you like to swim?" Yes.

---

Luni said:
"heyso how about a date lol" This is the guy who wrote the long letter in the last post. Is he joking? Is he being a smart ass because I ignored his email? As usual, I am confounded by these "boys"

---

Naz said:
"Hey :-)
How are you!Hey Hows it going :-) Hopefully great!...Your profile really jumped out at me!..It seems like we might have a few things in common wich is great!..Im just looking for someone who's real and that I can laugh my ass off with and have a great time with..And being that I consider myself tottaly Rockin, Hillarious & Down to earth, and being that its seems that like your a awsome person.. I was was wondering, if you would like to chat and get to know each other a bit, Im Nathan, And I hope your having a great night, and I look foward to hearing from you...bye :-)" OMG with the :-)!!! Another guy looking for a REAL girl... this is an epidemic!
This one I can't bring myself to rip too much because his email is so innocent and young. It's as if a spelling challenged 4th grader wrote it. (awwwww!!!) I have to say I agree that I am awesome, and glad he got that from my limited profile information. I wish him luck, he's going to need it. Most girls eat guys like him for breakfast these days. I hope he keeps that childish optimism alive.

---

On the other hand, I think I found my soul mate. This guy looked at my profile, so I looked at his and I liked what I saw (outdoorsy, black lab, well traveled but lives in the country, musician, intelligent, sense of humor, kilt). LOL. Now I will play the match game and see if he contacts me, which usually works. I could be more forward and contact him, but, I did that once with another guy and that guy never wrote back :(, so, I will remain my traditional self and see what happens.


Are you ready for the big storm? I hope you all have a snow day tomorrow!!!