Fun with Profiles & Pics: Part 2

Well, here it is. The second and final part of 'Fun with Profiles & Pics'. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed putting it together for you!

More of the same, although these are a different format because they are guys who viewed my profile. This way you get to see a bit of their initial overview. Let's get the old ones out of the way first. (Click on them to make them larger and easier to read.They should pop up in a separate window)

What on earth is a 71 year old doing looking at a 35 year old??? Yea, I know what you want old man and if it's not a heart attack, you better skew your search a bit OLDER.



This guy winked at me too. 20 years is a big difference AND in his profile under 'for fun' he actually listed SEX. OK, besides the ewww, that doesn't sound like he is looking for a meaningful relationship. Grow up!

Besides looking like that serial killer on the last episode of Criminal Minds, he has no grasp of the English language. What is a minture picture? Maybe he meant a miniature pinscher? Also reminds me a bit of the Planet Fitness ad with the muscle head who can only say "I lift things up and put them down".

"Like I said, I don't judge people. Unless they are into violence or real stupidity. As opposed to fake stupidity. Ya know? I also like to dissect bunnies and cats for fun...see??"



His favorite pick up lines: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." and "Life isn't that short, but it's getting shorter" Um...yea.



Mr. Apostrophe here can't seem to get a grasp of the possessive. Maybe the right one for him is an elementary reading teacher!


These two monsters marked me as a FAVORITE on their accounts. It tells me this. They have never contacted me, but they have been listed as marking me a favorite of theirs for 2 months now. Creepy...

Thank GOD he's SINGLE! Actually I have heard stories of married or involved guys on match, but you can tell who is genuine and who is not most of the time. He's a lefty and he once won a Costume contest when he dressed up as Frankenstein! but seriously, this guy might not be so bad if his profile and pic weren't so creepy. It's in the eyes. I just couldn't subject you to that...


A mountain man who enjoys hanging out in his camp shirtless makin' meth. He's lookin' for some change and wants a woman, but doesn't want anything serious. He likes adventure ladies, so pack up the Comet and the Liquid Drano and head on over. Papa's got a brand new batch!


More crazy screen names and messages up tomorrow around 10am and my advice for marketing yourself in the digital age posting at 2pm tomorrow, so take your coffee breaks accordingly!

The Match.com Experiment

Well, I did it. I signed up for Match.com. I know, I know, I said I would never be desperate enough to try it, and here I am. The guys I meet and am fixed up with lately are so immature and not men. I am sure it is a product of the area, but it is getting frustrating.

Actually what changed my mind was that all I have been hearing from recently engaged or married people is 'We met online!" Be it Match, Perfect Match, EHarmony or JDate, apparently this is where you can sift through the endless profiles and weed out the wackos to find someone decent. So why not? At least I will have some great fodder to breath some life back into this blog.

I was online about an hour tonight surfing through profiles, pics, and ridiculous tag lines when I received my first 4 winks, an IM and an email message.

The IM was first. He was annoyed because my age-range was "too narrow". I am sorry he is 51, but I don't think 30-40 is a narrow range. 16 years is a pretty wide age gap, and he looked like he just got home from a 2 week camping trip where he killed animals with his bare hands. Not my idea of boyfriend material.

The winks were pretty lame. I think one was a midget. I thought I put 5'9" as my height minimum? That may sound picky, but a girl has to wear heels!

I went back to perusing profiles and was appalled at the amount of available bachelors out there. I bet most of you ladies would be amazed that so many men, even the obesely overweight ones, who like to pose with their shirts off for their profile pic. That's definitely gonna get you noticed!

I did find a handful (literally 5 out of 100's) of guys with many of the attributes I am looking for. I chose their profiles based on the fact that they looked fairly normal, meaning no nudity, scary faces, or bad tag lines. They are now on my "favorites" list, whatever that means.

Then it was time to read the email message from "Rich". Check it:

"hello :)
im rich:)how r u i would like to talk to u"

His profile blurb read in part:

"hi im looking for that someone i can grow with n enjoy life for what it is:)
well im 31 divorced just want to enjoy life. I like to have fun cause some mischif:) be myself and to find someone who just wants to hangout at home or go out and hang out weather its to a movie or other things im not a picky person im opened minded to try anything i would like to find someone who is not looking for something serious right now but maybe in the future basicly i…"

I know what you are thinking. CC, How can you ignore such a wonderfully illiterate message? I wonder why he is divorced?

After my first hour of being on Match.com in upstate NY (I know, it's not really Match's fault)I have decided to revamp my profile. Let me know what you think:

Hi, I'm CC. I have a Bachelor's Degree, enjoy museums, movies, music of all types and have a wicked sense of humor. I am looking for a well-read, intelligent man who enjoys being active (that means you're not in danger of cardiac arrest because you took a walk to get the mail at the end of the driveway) who is looking for a partner in life (not just someone to clean your trailer and cook for you).

If you have a profile pic with no shirt on or say you are a fun guy but can't smile in a single picture, don't bother to contact me. If you have 4 chins, no teeth, are old enough to be my father, look like a crazed serial killer or are "just lookin' for a good woman" please resist the urge to wink at or IM me. Also, if you message me, please refrain from using text-speak and write like an adult male who has actually graduated from high school (or better yet college).

Check back often to see more of the Match.com experiment!

Puke Enducing Message

At this point on match I am getting the guys who winked at me 3 months ago and either forgot or decided to give it another try. A few crusty old men and more of the same. It is getting old and very boring.

This guy sent me an email and I think you will remember him from Fun With Profiles & Pics Part 2: (Click the pic to enlarge for readability)



I think I need to go throw up now.


In other news, the winter weather canceled both of my second dates a while back. Winter is sort of hard to navigate especially with all the snow and bad driving conditions around here this season. Oh well!