SPY Magazine Features N.E.G.S.S. Agent!

Recently SPY Magazine interviewed a secret agent from the N.E.G.S.S. (National Eastern Grey Squirrel Society)for an in depth cover story. The article will be published in the upcoming issue (pictured above).

The following are exerpts from this exciting interview.

I met Agent Treehopper in a dark alley on a Friday night at dusk... Well, that's how it would have been if this were a movie. Instead I met Agent Treehopper at a Starbucks on the corner of 5th and Main on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon.

"There's really no sense in trying to disguise my identity. Us Squirrels look a lot alike. Anyone would be hard pressed to make a positve ID on any of us!" he chuckles over his triple hazelnut latte. "It makes the job less stressful that way."

Agent Treehopper has been with the N.E.G.S.S. for about 10 years now. He has seen everything from missions gone wrong (Operation: Bambi) to successful missions like the 1997 "Operation White Wedding" in Oregon.

"I have seen a lot and I learn more each time we prepare. This latest mission, 'Operation Golden Rod' has been really intense. We have new equipment to train on as well as our regular reconnaisance preparation. I have to say that working with the Agency is always a pleasure though. They are good people trying to do good in this world. This PieHole thing is crazy but we are doing our part to help out. Our motto for this mission is 'Nuts for the Nutty'!!! You know, fighting fire with fire!"

cclifeorsomethinglikeit has aquired a few of the TOP SECRET pics revealed in the issue:

"We like to have some fun too you know. I remember this time we were at an Agency picnic at Finks Basin and these Red Squirrels were trying to start something with us. My buddy Buster just let them have it. After that we busted his chops about it for weeks and somehow this picture of him during the altercation kept being posted all over our home base! What a riot!"




SPY Magazine also found out that the N.E.G.S.S. plays as hard as it works. Here Agent Treehopper is seen performing with his Jazz ensemble and a very special guest on trumpet. When asked about his hobby he smiles. "I just love Jazz? My Alto was specially make for me and that black nichol plating really makes my sound as smooth as silk!"



SPY Magazine always likes to ask our guests at the end of the interview what famous SPY they idolize, real or fictional. Agent Treehopper said he really thinks James Bond is cool. "He's got all these gadgets, and the chicks! Man, I wish being a secret agent was that easy!"



You can read more about Agent Treehopper and the N.E.G.S.S. in the May issue of Spy Magazine on sale soon.

**News Flash!! N.E.G.S.S. Still Vigilant

The National Eastern Grey Squirrel Society, although maintaining radio silence for the past few months, leaked photos this week to remind us they are still on task when it comes to PieHole.


Communication is Key: Two agents, seen in the photo below, crowd together to discuss their next move. PieHole activity is recorded on a daily basis and agents try their best to blend into their surroundings to gather information.

The N.E.G.S.S is constantly varying their surveillance techniques from the simple to the technologically advanced. Here "Agent Clicker" can be seen taking 35mm reconnaissance photos deep undercover in Red Squirrel territory.


The final photo shows how adaptable the N.E.G.S.S. can be when their assignments take them around the world. They are experts of disguise and can blend in with any culture.


Any news concerning the N.E.G.S.S. will be made available as it is received by this blog.


IN OTHER NEWS:

The "PH Factor" Advisory System has issued warnings in association with the Anti-Terrorism Alert System. A photo has been issued to make positive identifications easier. Please see below for the Airport Alert and Safety update.





Disclaimer: I did not in any way manipulate or change any of the squirrel photos I found while searchinhg the web. They were just too perfect to ignore! The camel thing was an email I received from Deidre and I just had to share!

Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend everyone! I know I can sure use a long weekend right about now! I am headed to see my boys again and since Kevin has a new video camera, I am sure I will return Tuesday with news of another film production!

Operation Golden Rod is Underway.

With less than two weeks to go before the 50th Anniversary Party, Operation Golden Rod is set and ready to diffuse any and all situations.

"Operation Golden Rod is near and dear to our hearts. It is vital that this party be a success and that all security is on high alert to preserve the peace." Agent Pinky stated late last night. "We even had quite a time figuring out what the Operation name would be. Agent Nightshade wanted to call it "Operation Gold Finger" to which Agent Mallard wanted to change it to "Operation Pull My Finger". It was a very hard fought discussion, but in the end 'Operation Golden Rod' was the most appropriate."

"This is our most important Operation to date. Agent Mamacita and The Head of Agency Special Ops, Codename "SauceMan", are celebrating their 50th Anniversary! That is quite an accomplishment. We want this to be a happy, fun day for everyone. A lot of work and planning has been put into this event and we are prepared to subdue any terrorist plots to ruin their day." said Agent Lefty, the agency's Point-woman for event planning and organization for many years.

Special Ops from the N.E.G.S.S. (National Easter Grey Squirrel Society) will be on hand to oversee the party and that Piehole stays home in Rochester. Positioned around the parimeter of her home, N.E.G.S.S. Agents will be fully armed with ammunition, pelting her with nuts if she tries to leave the area. "We have been using nuts as ammunition for years. It's non-lethal, but hurts enough to get our point across!" N.E.G.S.S. Special Ops director codename "Hype" commented.

"Our agents are sharpshooters. If they can peg an average size human between the eyes from 100 feet away, imagine how easy it will be to peg PieHole!!! We are confident that our agents can fufil their end of the bargain, especially given such a large, slow moving target! With my men on the job, she'll never make it out of the subdivision, let alone to the party!"

Photo of N.E.G.S.S. training video entitled "Using Your Nuts Wisely: A Non-Lethal Mode of Attack"

Our Agency is anticipating a successful event free of Piehole's Evil interuptions. Members of Rogue Agencies thought to be involved in her web of lies are being monitored for any suspicious movements. Keep checking this secure channel for updates on Operation Golden Rod.

N.E.G.S.S. Mission Update: CLASSIFIED

Communications Specialist Agent "Whiskers" is hard at work making sure all systems are go for next weekend's OPERATION: GOLDEN ROD. With an extensive computer network and links to "cclifeorsomethinglikeit", the CIA's own Map Server as well as many other invaluable resources, the N.E.G.S.S. is a powerhouse of information.

Agents everywhere are training and testing new & existing equipment for the mission.


Agent "Chatter" is seen here testing out the comm links to the home base. "Simplicity is the key" he says of the high tech comm devices they use. "It's easier to get where I need to go without cumbersome walkies or other radios. Headsets are lighweight and allow you to keep your hands free"



New lightweight backpacks to hold ammunition were ordered from government special ops for the occaision. Agent "Night Fox" is also testing out a new video surveilance system that looks like an IPOD and attaches to his sunglasses, enabling him to continue to monitor his immediate surroundings.




Special Agent Jitters is perfecting his aim at a special target practice for agents of the N.E.G.S.S. Friday morning.

"We have a variety of targets to practice with" Agent Jitters commented. "This makes us well rounded to hit our target anyway she presents herself. I am confident that our Mission will be a success"

Whatever Wednesday!

Random Thoughts, Random Realities

Today's Scorpio Horoscope: Sep 10, 2008
Today is going to be a great day for you, dear Scorpio. You are not one to embrace rules, constraints or restrictions of any type, preferring instead to reside in a fantasy world where no limitations apply. Have you considered that it is possible for you to join the rest of us here on Earth and still retain your liberty and ideals?

Spoke with my downstairs neighbor last night. She is moving to Florida this winter. Should be out by Dec 1st I guess... I hope I will be lucky enough to get a good neighbor and not a couple with a child/children or one of the more frequent college student groups that I have seen moving in recently. Keep me in your thoughts this fall and hope that I get a good neighbor(s).:) God! I sound like an old lady! It's just during the week I like to have quiet after 11pm so I can get some sleep which helps me at my JOB so I can PAY my rent. I don't think that is too much to ask. Oh and a Sunday afternoon nap on the couch in front of the tv is nice sometime too! Just sayin'.

I believe that N.E.G.S.S. will be posting some more stories this week. Just this morning I ran into a suspicious looking Chipmunk on my stairs outside my apartment. He snuck in through the open door this morning as someone was leaving the building somehow. We are on code yellow right now, but I see code orange by day's end if his intentions are a reconnaissance mission for the enemy. More information to follow.

Had dinner with Chantal and Susan last night. We went to a well known local Irish Pub for dinner and drinks. It was funny because I had been there on many occasions to have drinks, just never dinner! It was really good, and Susan and I were on the same wavelength b/c the Guiness was yummy! We had so much fun chit-chatting and laughing as usual. My favorite quote of the evening was when our food came and Chantal made the observation that " Everyone ordered a meal that uses a different utensil!" Classic! Loved it!

I thought this pic of a hurricane in Havanna just recently was beautiful so stole it from MSN to share it here:

Holiday Trivia Answers and Thursady Thoughts

Great job to everyone on the Holiday Trivia! Here are the answers:

1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
2. Rudolph
3. Elf
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
5. Frosty
6. Home Alone
7. The Nightmare Before Christmas
8. It's a Wonderful Life
9. Charlie Brown Christmas
10. Christmas Vacation

BONUS: Batman Returns: The Ice Princess is rehearsing the tree lighting ceremony in the dressing room...Obviously there are some bulbs out on her strand of lights! haha!

It's Thursday! Today I get to go to a company function. A two hour presentation and then lunch afterwards. I guess it is better than being at work scrounging for something to keep busy with! The work load is slowing down this week a bit, so it will be a good escape! Hey, lunch is taken care of, what am I complaining about?

So sad yesterday, the news about Peter Boyle. He was only 71! I am sure everyone remembers him best for his Frankenstein in "Young Frankenstein". Puttin' on the Ritz!!! I also loved him in "The Dream Team". The creator or the Green Lantern also died recently. He was 91.

On a happier note, I get to help my parents put up their Christmas Tree this weekend! I love decorating the tree with them and I haven't been able to the last few years so this will be fun.

Henlib has requested some Chsitmas Squirrels and I am up for the challenge. I think the N.E.G.S.S. will be sending in their updates along with Christmas wishes for everyone soon. Keep an eye out! (my eye!)

PieHole Puts a Fence Up!

PieHole recently put up a new fence at her home to keep away unwanted annoyances. Agents of the N.E.G.S.S. took this photo yesterday of PieHole gloating about her plan. Little did she know, the fence will actually aide the agents in their mission!

Project Whitetail Investigation Heats Up

In an email received this morning by our Agency, Ike, President of the National Eastern Grey Squirrel Society (N.E.G.S.S), was ambushed by what experts are saying is another Rogue Agent of Whitetail. The email read as follows:

"I was attacked by a suicide deer last night at about 5PM. $3800.00 worth of damage. I think this may be a precursor to something big the red squirrels are planning. They didn't like it when Fred and I shot that big blonde squirrel and had it stuffed for Fred's display case.

Damn deers. I could have gotten wipe lash! Be careful out there.

Ike"

Our Agency has been placed on a CODE RED and has sent communications to it's operatives to be on high alert. A Whitetail spokesperson could not be reached to answer to the allegations.

Agent Pinky of the Research and Counter-Terrorism Division, was not surprised by the attack last evening. "The Red Squirrels ahve been planning something for awhile. Whitetail was their easiest access to our Agency and they have corrupted them. Our intelligence had shown something like this would occur after the 'Target PiHole Incident'. We are doing everything we can to predict their next moves. Information will be forthcoming as we feel necessary to the mission at hand"

Surveillance has been working around the clock in various "Hot Spots" in the area to gather any information they can. The following are pictures taken after a decoy of a Whitetail Agent was placed in a forested area near the Harbor.

"The decoy agent was placed where meetings have been rumored to take place between Whitetail and The Red Squirrels" Agent Mallard explained. "As you can see, Agent Davinci has created a very convincing double. His artistic talents have never ceased to amaze us"

"Unfortunately Agent Davinci's hard work was for naught, a Red Squirrel spy by the name of "Jitters" was seen scoping out the area before Mallard and Davinci had finished their set-up. The mission was aborted, and Agent CakeBaker helped them load up the decoy and drove them back to base camp. Agent Pokahontas stayed behind to tail the spy.

"These Red Squirrels are well matched adversaries. I think we have learned that we are dealing with a formidable foe here. Our tactics will need to be stepped up." said Agent NightShade, who works along with Agent Pinky in Counter-Terrorism.


This photo was taken a short time later after Pokahontas had successfully followed "Jitters" to his high level contact: Big Red. "This one is a mean one." Pokahontas said about the leader of the Red Squirrels terrorist training camps in the forests of the Adirondacks. "You can tell by his face that he means business, and I say Bring it on you little Red Devil!"

Breaking News:

This just in from Ike in answer to whether the Whitetail Agent escaped or was killed:

"Yeah, I brought the asshole home and will make him into stew. I figured we
needed to make an example of this one for anyone else that gets the idea to try
anything with the President. I told the Trooper, "Here is the asshole right
here!" I also told him that I had been expecting something like this for some
time now."

Our Agency is sure that the message of "Stew" will spread throughout the Terrorist Community. In the meantime the Agency stresses vigilance and alertness in all that you do.

More on this case as it developes.

Operation: Bambi

Operation: Bambi was an extremely TOP SECRET mission a few weeks ago that went terrribly wrong. Here is a recount and background information recently compiled by our agency.

OPERATION: Bambi
TARGET: PieHole
MISSION STATUS: FAILED

Background:
On October 1st, 2005 a meeting between two of our top agents ("Mamacita" and "Pokahontas") met with members of the underground group "White Tail" in the foothills of the Adirondack Park.

The meeting discussed plans for a takedown of one of the most wanted heavies in the agency's history: "PieHole". The most foul-mouthed, mean and ruthless of all in-laws. The mission was to take place at dusk one evening, with agents from "White Tail" making a surprise attack on the vehicle of PieHole, as if it were an accident.

A few weeks later, the attack was to take place. White Tail agents were in place for the takedown, but something didn't seem right. As the vehicle approached the target area, reconnaissence reported another person could be made out in the back seat. The car was supposed to be empty. Adeline, the youngest of PieHole's Children was in target automobile. The mission needed to be aborted, though to our pleadings, two rogue White Tail agents decided to buck the system and carry out the plan with adjustments of their own. They raced onto the road and into the car: one hitting the side panel the other the front. The car screeched to a halt and the agents ran away and could not be contacted via their comm links. Correspondance between the rogue agents and the Red Squirrels had been uncovered shortly afterwards by our friends at the N.E.G.S.S. Warrants for their capture are in effect.


The vehicle was totaled, and unfortunately, PieHole was unscathed. As a positive, thankfully, Adeline was OK but shaken. In an exit briefing of the mission Mamacita and PirateGirl spoke of their disappointment.

Mamacita:"White Tail has never had difficulties like this in completing a mission. I am concerned that other agencies are at work corrupting our partnership with them. The Red Squirrels are always trying to throw a wrench in the works. Looks like the White Tail members involved were easily lead astray. PieHole has been elusive, but someday we will get her good!!"

Pokahontas: Never trust someone outside of your own agency to get the job done. When Mamacita and I heard the news of the failure we were angry. We spent months planning out our attack. All it took were two loose cannons. This is the last time I work with White Tail that's for sure. This mission sets us all back. Next time, (laughs)and there WILL be a next time, we will do it right!!"

White Tail has issued a comment expressing their deep concern with the interior of their agency:

"White Tail will obviously take the blame for this unfortunate turn of events. The agents who are responsible are being tracked and will be punished. Photographic proof of this will be forwarded to your agency when it is avaiable. We apologize and hope once we resolve our internal problems that we will once again be able to work together to bring down the PieHoles of the world"

More information concerning this case will be shared as it develops.