A Little More Light on the Subject

Some more excerpts from "The Career Guide for Creative and Unconventional People" that I felt were helpful to me.

"The sensitive artistic person perceives a complex world in which certain elements are wrong or don't fit - and then experiences internal conflict as part of the creative process of refititng them...Such internal conflict may help produce the emotional state that others perceive as moodiness and histrionics."


"Creative people tend to be non-conforming in relation to authority figures. They want to do things their own way. The first time I led a career group with creative and unconventional people, I was struck with the number of group members who described conflict with their bosses as part of their work woes. If you are independent, the worst kind of boss is the kind who breathes down your neck and micromanages your efforts. Creative people are happier at work and probably perform better if they are given their freedom. They value autonomy."

"A sensitive, expressive, intuitive nature is no advantage when the task is to handle everyday maintenance chores by established rules. In fact, you may find you are less efficient and more tired out by the work than other people would be. Because so many of the jobs that are readily available are Conventional jobs you may get down on yourself and think "I just don't like to work". You may not realize that it's the particular kind of work that's so distasteful to you, not all the work"

Let There Be Light...

Like a true Scorpio, I have been going through this incredible season of rebirth lately. I feel energized, happy and I am learning so much more about myself. It has switched on a light in me and I believe it's all due to the experiences of the last 3months.

From traveling abroad for the first time and exploring London and Wales with my niece Alysa, to getting back to Vegas (even if it was for work) and having jury duty over the last two weeks, along with other little things here and there, I have begun another metamorphesis. This happens on smaller scales all the time throughout the year, as you have been able to read on CClife Blog. You have all read the darker depressions I slump into and the subsequent rebirths, but this is different, on a larger scale and hopefully the call to action that I have been yearning for.

I am currently reading a book entitled "The Career Guide for Creative and Unconventional People" and it is definitely hitting home. I realized after being physicaly away form work for almost 3 weeks, (Vegas for a week and Jury duty for all but 2 days in the last two weeks) that I am more than miserable there, I just don't care anymore. That is a bad place to be, expecially when the economy is so bad and job hunting should not be tops on your list right now. I have realized that whilst doing something meaningful and using my brain (Jury Duty) this week, that I don't want to return to my job. I am actually DREADING it, and perhaps my unhappiness with my job, and the fact that it is getting worse all the time, is the true cause of all of my deep depressions in the last 8 months.

I wanted to share from the Career Guide I am reading, since it really hits the nail on the head for me (and it may for you as well):

"...a good job-personality fit has been found in a number of studies to be positively related to self-esteem, mental health and life satisfaction and negatively related to anxiety and burn-out...Althought casual links between job fit and mental health are not clear, one study of employee's mental health concluded 'Career and work satisfaction emerged as the strongest contributors to mental health' "

I think we can all agree that I have been more manic depressive over the last 6 months just by reviewing the lack of FUNNY posts here on CClife blog. Granted, my job does not allow me to spend time doctoring photos as much as before, but when I have had the chance, I haven't felt "up to it", as if my silly side had been crushed or locked away due to lack of use.

Being able to travel and explore and do things I have never done before has boosted my confidence, and motivated me to not be afraid to try something else. It has opened my eyes and my mind. This company has never been the end all be all, and I have never settled for mediocrity although I have settled for the short term. If I am that unhappy, I should move on. Resume updating begins this weekend. Lamby: Get out your red pencil to help me tweak next weekend!

I guess the hardest part of this process is the fact that my family, especially my father, were so excited that I had finally gotten a "real" corporate management position. My father was actualy telling all of his friends that I was promoted to being the Marketing Manager 1 1/2 years ago, and I couldn't be mad at him for stealing my thunder because he was so proud. Of course that is important to me, but I have grown enough to know that he will be more proud me if I am HAPPY with my job, than just because I have a title that seems to impress people. Also, I am the only one who can make the decisions for my life that will make me happy. My family loves me no matter what and they will stand by me in my endeavors as I have for them and I need to do what is right for me.

A Pic For Chantal :)

Jury Duty ROCKS! I can't wait to post about it when it is over!

25 TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE in 2009 Happy New Year!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day... and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant!
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to __________ today."
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick or dying. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________."
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Share these tips with others you care about.

Twilight Car Dance: Brilliant!

Oscar Nom for Ledger

I don't want to get too excited here, because this may very well be just a pity nom because fans are screaming for it. I never watch the Oscars, because I find them to be obnoxious. I also rarely read film reviews until after I see the movie because I know what I like and what I want to see already. I guess I don't care what "The Academy" thinks, my own opionion is what counts for me. Regardless, I still want Ledger and Dark Knight to run away with all of their noms.

Honestly, what do the Oscars REALLY mean anymore?

It's just a political juggernaut within hollywood's walls for money and power. Oh, and for them to pat themselves on the back. "Look at us! We're so creative/cutting edge/dramatic!" (now turn, pose for the camera and smile) I think if hollywood spent more time worrying about the actual craft of acting, they could be putting more quality cinema out there than they have been. Sure, recognition for hard work is wonderful, but like everything else, the Oscars have degraded themselves into just another award ceremony for hollywood to blow their own horns.

Dark Knight Noms: Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger; Art Direction; Cinematography; Sound Mixing; Sound Editing; Film Editing and Visual Effects.

In my opinion, DK should win all of these nominations. These nominations are well deserved... But whatever happens in February 22nd, I still know that The Dark Knight was the best damn action/super hero movie I have seen in a LONG TIME. Thank you Christopher Nolan, cast and crew.

Hard to believe it's been a year today. RIP Heath Ledger.

Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K...

Time traveling in a phone booth with the Wyld Stallions aside, (name that movie reference) it has been a strange few weeks.

I am convinced that the London/Wales trip has changed me. And for the better. I am more confident, more open and much more excited to try new things and meet new people, even if it means doing them alone. I have always said that I am a late bloomer, and I keep proving myself right.

The past two weeks have been enlightening for me, the work trip to Vegas, coming back and being selected for jury duty this week... it's all this strange mix of somehow linked happenings. It's times like these when my faith is renewed. When I realize how connected things are and that I am indeed in the place I am supposed to be right now.

Jury duty, did you catch that? Yep, I have been selected to serve on a Federal Criminal case. It is very interesting. I am at work today and tomorrow and then the court is back in session on Friday. I am digging being in that position of deciding someone's fate, but in a responsible way.

Vegas was good. The work was OK, as OK as tradeshows and being on your feet all day can be. I did get to site-see a bit and I brought my new HDD video camera with me. It was my first time using the camera, so I need a little more practice before I can enter anything at Sundance. :) I am currently editing my footage and will post it here, perhaps on my you tube channel and then link it to here. I will do a post about my Vegas trip (the site-seeing anyway) when I have that done.

Work-wise, I feel like I am completely over it. I have decided that working with Texas Asshole (who Lamby and I now call TAP) and his "bullying" techniques to get people around him to do his work and the fact that I am not the least bit interested in the product I market (or at least any I had has worn off by now), are grounds for me to take my work ethic, experience and personality someplace that's else. Maybe not today, or 3 months from now, but within the next 8 months I can see myself making a change, as long as the economy permits.

Let me give you an example of TAP and his bullying:

The scene is the tradeshow floor during set-up, Union guys are working to set up the booth, I have been filling in for TAP supervising since 8am, since he had a panel to speak on until 9:30am. He arrives and since he is there, I figure I can take a bathroom break and go grab a coffee. Before I break, I mention my plan to help a coworker when she arrives:

CC: "I texted EB to let me know when she arrives at the hotel. When she is in I will head over, help her check in (since she was putting her room on my corporate card) and if she cannot check in yet, she can put her bags in my room for the time being and then I will bring her to the booth"

TAP: "UHH??(grumble, grumble) You need to be here to make sure these guys are setting up everything correctly!"

CC: (thinks to herself WTF? I am helping YOU out, this is YOUR GIG you big Texas asshole!) "Well, where are you going to be?"

TAP: (pauses) "Well...yea, I'm going to be here..."

CC: "Well, then it's not a problem if I leave for 30 minutes and help EB get settled and help her find her way to the booth"

TAP: "Uh... (grumble, grumble), Yea... OK"

CC: (thinking to herself:) "Ha! Shut down!! Take that you big BITCH!"

I can't FUCKING stand him. It is a constant fight to step up and shut him down. I have shut him down on many occaisions and he never seems to get it. BE GONE! YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE! YOU CANNOT BULLY ME. I HAVE MORE BALLS THAN YOU DO, AND I KNOW HOW TO USE THEM! He will be the death of my employment here. He will be the reason I give when I do my exit interview. I waste so much time dealing with him that it's a wonder that I can actually get anything done.

All these new experiences and happenings are really making me wake up to the fact that I am not stuck here, (THANK GOD) and that I have many opportunities and I just need to get out there and go after them. I have known this all along deep down, but now I feel like I have this renewed sense of myself and confidence. I hope this one lasts long enough to improve my situation!

Hmmmm...

Uncanny... isn't it?

A Hole Ripped in the Future of Cinema...

Golden Globe for Heath Ledger!!! The clip could have been shorter and more to the point BUT you get to see Ralph Fiennes!! (Alysa and I know him you know...well, sorta. HAHA)

I was so excited when he won and Director Christopher Nolan had some lovely and eloquent things to say.

Yea...

"I've had a lot of people lining up to tell me how unimportant I am.
And I've finally figured out why.
Power. I have it. They don't."

Buffy, Checkpoint

Bitch Session: Ten Things That Amuse Me About People (even myself!)

1. People who act non-conformist and open-minded only to judge you based on your personal preferences, like music or film for example. It's very Oxymoronic and quite funny to me.
2. I like it when someone throws a cowoker (or entire department) under the bus and then as you press them further it comes out that it is actually their own fault thus exposing them. It's also really funny when they are too stupid to realize that they have been exposed!
3. When someone makes conclusions about you based on your marital status or thinks you should lower your standard and expectations just to be married, especially when they are in a failed or bad situation. Who's the loser in THAT game I wonder?
4. I LOVE it when you give a coworker the opportunity to have input and they blow you off by never making your deadlines and then bitch and complain that they didn't have any input!
5. People who take you for granted because you have ALWAYS been there when they never make much of an effort to be there for you. It is always up to you to keep the lines of communication open and if you were ever to not be there, it would of course be your fault, not their's.
6. It's annoying, though funny that people consistantly try to pawn their work off onto me, because they are lazy and they know I will get things done regardless of how much is on my plate at the moment. I wonder how these hacks sleep at night? And they wonder why I got a big promotion last year. Huh...
7. I think it's interesting how as I have gotten older I realize why older people were saying certain things when I was young. One in particular is "Kids don't respect their elders". What kids don't understand is that we are human beings who have "been there and done that". I find this hysterical because they are actually the ones with no clue and by giving us the chance to impart any knowledge we might have, it would be a benefit to them.
8. What's also interesting is older people who think they know everything in such a rapidly changing society. Life is a constant learning experience and all of our experiences are different. I do however respect them for their own personl life experience.
9. Family members who are on FB and don't friend you although they friend other family members. Thanks.
10. I think it's pretty funny that all I ever seem to do is bitch and complain on this blog lately. I need to bring the fun in again or just get done.

RIP Commissioner Gordon

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=346081&GT1=28101

CC's 2009 List

It's time to re-evaluate, get real, and publish my list of goals for 2009.

1. Travel outside the US again. Any place for a new adventure!
2. Organize all the photos I have since the dawn of time! Also get a new address book and organize addresses in that. Meaty projects, but NEEDS to be done!
3. Go visit Mark, Cullin and Caitlin in Washington/Idaho
4. Relocate: either to just a new apartment or to a new job or maybe even a new location.
5. Join a gym and lose 20-25 pounds.
6. Purchase and learn how to play guitar.
7. Ween myself off of Facebook (and only check it twice a month)I only check it 3 times a week now! 2/19/09
8. Ride the Rollercoaster at NY, NY in Las Vegas (on January 15th in honor of the character Grissom leaving CSI that night)
9. Purchase a digital camera and/or Video Camera
10. Simplify my wardrobe. Get rid of old clothes and buy a few new pieces. (added 2/19/09)
11. Refine myself. Find a happy medium. Be happy and not worry about those who don't appreciate me for who I am. Let go. Be heathly. Get motivated. FOCUS and find my passion.

2009 Year in Review: A Meme

1. What did you do in 2008 that you have never done before?
   I finally got my passport and traveled abroad!!!!
2. Did you keep all of last years resolutions?
   Um, Did I have any? Iguess that answers the question huh?
3. Have you any resolutions for next year?
   I resolve to ACTUALLY lose 25 pounds by July. Seriously. I’m gonna do it.
4. What countries did you visit?
   England and Wales *sigh*. Amazing.
5. What would you like to have in 2009 that you didn’t have in 2008?
   Another, better apartment and neighbors
6. What date in 2008 will remain etched in your memory?
   November 2nd, the day I left for London.
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   I am still employed as the Marketing Manager, so I must be doing something right.:) And traveling across the pond by myself was a big thing for me.
8. What was your biggest failure?
   My biggest failure this year was not having the faith in myself enough to speak my mind in certain situations, Work , personal whatever. I tend to clam up and then regret not saying what I should have said.
9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
   Thankfully, No. My former health issues are non-existant right now, so that was great news!
10. What was the best thing you bought?
    This is sort of a silly question, but my trip to London/Wales and The Dark Knight on DVD! I love my new cell phone too.
11. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
    Oh dear, that’s easy: Derwood...and most of humanity actually.
12. Where did most of your money go?
    Bills and London trip, but I did very well at budgeting and have been able to save a bit too! Yay me!
13. What did you get really really really excited about?
    God this Answer is getting old, but Las Vegas and London/Wales trips
14. What do you wish you’d done less of?
    Bitching and worrying about ridiculous things.
15. Did you fall in love in 2008?
    Nope. A few crushes but not love.
16. How many one night stands?
    Hey! I’m not that kind of girl!
17. What was your favourite TV show?
    With the writer’s strike this is up for grabs. So I will say Flight of the Conchords
18. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
    That’s a funny question. Hate is a strong word, there are a few that I am quite annoyed with when I think about them, so I just don’t think about them!
19. What was/were the best books you read?
    To Kill a Mockingbird, Anthem by Ayn Rand
20. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    I was introduced to Porcupine Tree and I found that I really enjoy Elvis Costello. I was incredibly psyched to find the unreleased Lost Boys Score tho. Nostalgia rules me! I hope 2009 brings more musical discoveries.
21. What did you want for Christmas that you got?
    A Tea Kettle and a Cookbook
22. What did you want for Christmas and not get?
    :)I got everything I wanted
23. What was your favourite film this year?
    I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count... (If you said Dark Knight, congrats!!!)
24. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
    Spent the day at the V & A Museum, then in the evening I went to see Ralph Feinnes at the London National Theater in Oedipus, Ate Cake and had a celebratory drink in a quaint pub with my neice Alysa and I am now 33.
25. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
    Meeting a good guy since all I meet lately are bad boys.
26. Who kept you sane?
    Lamby, Big Geek, Christine, Ariane, Pinky
27. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
    Fancy? Well, James McAvoy is strangely attractive and a great actor.
28. Which political issue stirred you the most?
    The 2008 Campaigns and Election in general
29. Who did you miss?
    All my friends who live far away and I never get to see!
30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
    You can’t control everything, so just relax and let things go and enjoy life.
31. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year…
    “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need”
    The Rolling Stones.