Meltdown

"You need to get going and start your life…we are all pulling for you."

When you read that in an email from your brother, it's obvious that your family has been talking about you. I need to "get going and start my life"? Are you fucking kidding me? Thanks asshole, I will make note of that.

Yes, I have been unemployed for 10 months and I am embarrassed beyond measure about it.

Yes, I have been extremely confused about my career path.

Yes, I have had bouts of depression about my situation and my indecision.

I almost feel like an intervention is on it's way, like I am the bad seed that everyone is worried about because everyone else is successful and has their place in the world and I am the slacker. That makes me feel tons better.

Truth be told, my last job ruined me. Even though it was a Manager title, my self-worth and self-esteem as a productive member of the company was squashed. I became more and more unsure of myself and my position the last 8 months I was there, thanks to certain people including my supervisor. I had tried to look for another job then, but when you don't believe in yourself, it's not very productive.

Then I was laid off. I had just bought a car, I had 6 months left on my apartment lease and I was lost. The past 10 months have been a drain on my mental health and well being, because let's face it, even though I hated my job, I wanted to leave on my own terms. I never wanted to be laid off.

I could probably use a counselor because I am pretty off my rocker the past week...especially today. Part of me wants to get back out there and get my life back, but part of me wants to run away and hide in a cave and never come out again. I surely am sick of being the charity case and living with my sister, then my parents and now my brother. It's so hard to be self-sufficient and living on your own for years and then having to rely on others. I am starting to feel like the house guest that won't leave.

So I am in Cali, My Nanny duties are finished and I can now focus on a proper job hunt but my resolve is failing me. I hope today is just a bad day and that the triggers that set me off will mean nothing tomorrow.

Corey Feldman to Blame for Corey Haim's Death?

Apparently, Corey Haim tried Mary Jane for the first time while he was filming the Lost Boys. Is it a coincidence that this was the first time that he had met and worked with Corey Feldman? My theory is that Feldman was the instigator and enabler since he himself was already on that path, ending up in rehab for heroin abuse years later. I always thought Corey Feldman was a bad influence on Corey Haim. Feldman found a drug buddy in Haim but Feldman was strong and picked himself up. Haim wasn't so lucky.

It bothers me that Feldman has been bellyaching that Haim's fans and Hollywood in general should have come forward sooner, supported him sooner, "helped a legend out". And what could his fans have done? The fans are not responsible for Haim's continuous downward spiral and eventual death. There was a lot of fan support out there for him even after all the time he was not in the public eye. I loved Corey Haim in the late 80's, but in all honestly, Haim's fans are mostly in their mid to late thirties now, with lives of their own. Even though we have fond memories of (embarrassing) celebrity crushes and movies back in our childhood it's no longer a central theme in our lives.

We also have to remember that drug abuse was only one of Haim's issues. Burning bridges and becoming difficult to work with doesn't bode well for a career anywhere, especially in Hollywood. Gaining back trust is a tough road, especially after 10, 15 and 20 years. No one's going to bet on a horse that never finishes a race...

A made-for-TV movie, and a few D list movie ideas floating around with his "brother" Feldman do not constitute a comeback. Let's be honest, his acting was marginal at best and his interviews were heartbreaking and made him look even more washed up. It was all too late. The Haimster had messed up his mind and he had ruined what he had. That's what 20 years of abusing drugs and multiple ODs can do.

It's a sad tale, but Feldman placing blame while he does the "circuit" is really lame. The "letter" he wrote and posted on his blog to Corey Haim was sloppy. Hey, Corey Feldman, have you ever heard of spell checking and editing before posting something this important? And for the record, if one of my best friends died I wouldn't care who showed up to take pictures, I would have wanted to be there to see them laid to rest and to support the family.

No one will ever know the true story of "The Coreys" and their relationship trials and tribulations. While I am sure Feldman is grieving for the loss of his friend, he still comes off as an ego-maniac.




CC realizes that some of the content contained in this post is in bad taste. I apologize, gentle readers, if I offended. Perhaps you would also find my self-made text alert on my phone offensive as well, but I think of it more as a homage to my favorite resident of Santa Carla. Click link to listen...

The Return of Jonathan "The Impaler"

After the sad news of Corey Haim and Peter Graves passing, I cannot believe that the return of Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey is making my day! Yay! Something to laugh about!

You may remember my previous post back in 2006 about the Vampire who wanted to run for Minnesota Govenor HERE. That was a classic.

Well now gentle readers, apparently the Vampire, or should I say "Vampyre", has since moved to Florida and is looking to run for President in 2012. READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE.

In an effort to come up with some new slogans (although my 2006 post was pretty classic) here are some possibilities:


Minnesota, Florida , Let's try Washington DC!

Better undead than red!

Go for the Jugular!

Vampyres of the world, Bite!

Jonathan "The Impaler": A Fangtastic Choice!



Alright, I'm done...I just can't do it! It's so ridiculous!!! This man is sick.

RIP Sweet Boy: A Farewell to Corey Haim

Click to enlarge pic.

I made this collage of Corey, trying to keep it light and retrospective to when I was a huge fan. I had heard he enjoyed painting and creating, so I thought this would be a fitting tribute. It is a sad day, but I have tons of memories of his movies and all those Teen Beat posters I had in my room in Jr High. I guess it was fitting that I got to Santa Cruz last month and have been watching The Lost Boys a lot again lately. I will miss you Corey Haim!

He was such a cutie, and it's sad he became a casualty of Hollywood. It broke my heart watching him on A&E's "The Two Coreys". He barely looked like himself from everything he had put his body through and he acted like an immature, desperate boy looking to make it big again. He had lost himself. I feel terrible that he struggled so hard, only to lose. Maybe now he will be at peace with the world and himself. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Corey's journey has ended, and with it dies part of my childhood. Perhaps that is the true epicenter of my sadness.

Bubble Battle!

A little video and a few pics Cullin shot while we were being silly girls one warm day here in Cali.

Me and the Bay in Monterey

Sunday we loaded up and went to Monterey Bay for the day. There was lots to see. First stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Here are some pics from the aquarium, some are from my cell:

Mark and Caitlin and Auntie Carol ready to go to the Aquarium:



We found a cute little clam!



Beautiful Jellyfish



Seahorses. I took this picture for Mom:)She would like these cute little guys:


A huge tank in the "Kelp Forest" Exhibit. A diver was feeding and answering questions from the onlookers. There was a huge Wolf Eel in there as well, but I didn't get a pic. He had to be 6 feet long!


The sharks would swim by and part schools of fish. Everyone knew who was in charge of this big tank of deep ocean creatures such as giant tuna, rays, pacific sunfish hammerhead sharks and many other small and large fish.


After the excitement at the Aquarium, we headed south along the coast on Highway 1 and stopped to walk along the coast in the Asilomar State Marine Reserve and see all the tidal pools teeming with life. Check out all these hermit crabs...there were tons of them, and you had to be careful not to harm any of the sea creatures as you walked atop the rocky shore.


Here is a little film I shot of the coast. Very windy:

We continued our excursion south to the famous 17-Mile Drive at Pebble Beach along the coast. The road weaved between forest, the coast, world class golf courses like Pebble Beach and Spyglass Hill and multi-million dollar homes. Some of these places were AMAZING! and quite a few were for sale if you have 20-30 mil laying around. We stopped at one area called "Seal Rock" where seals rested and played in the surf waiting for high tide to come in. Watching seals body surf on the waves is a riot, and Caitlin enjoyed hearing them "bark" .

More pics of the coast at I Spy...

Full of Beans!

Poor E. I hope he forgives me when he gets older. He is a good sport and loves being silly with Aunt CC. Another chapter of fun from summer 2009! The audio is a little low in spots so turn it up!

BY REQUEST: The Blondie Zoom: Speed Mama Trailer

Lamby and I got a little silly this summer...perhaps I should post a few other gems this week???

OMG!!! A New Album for the Red Hot Chili Peppers!!!

Remember a few days ago how I mentioned that Sting is touring this year and wouldn't it be great if RHCP were coming out with a new album and tour sometime this year?

Apparently they have been working on an album for release in the fall of 2010! And of course a tour will follow. The only sad news is that John Frusciante had quit, so I won't be able to see him go nuts on his guitar. I am definitley going to see them this time around, you can count on that!

Can't believe I hadn't heard the news that was apparently released last October! Check out the short article HERE.