What NOT to Name Your Consulting Business

It's been over two months since there was anything worth blogging about. Last month I was brainstorming for names for a consulting business and quickly realized that I was not in the right frame of mind for this important task. You know how one bad idea comes out and it turns into a circus of seeing how off-kilter you can get. Here is a list of the best of the worst that came out of that session.

• Marketing Meltdown (Obviously I was having one that day)


• Cougar Consulting (Not that I am that old yet, but you have to plan for the future!)


• Mediocre Marketing


• Manic Marketing


• Moat Marketing- You're Surrounded!


• Misfit Marketing


• Smells like Marketing


• Why Not? Consulting


• Cantankerous Consulting


• Creepy Cool Consulting


• Craptastic Consulting - We'll Market the Shit Out of You!


• Cream Corn (Random and interesting, don't you think?)


• Shut the Front Door Marketing


• Market This


• Market That


• Musical Marketing


• Mostly Marketing (I wonder what other services I could offer? Joke writing perhaps?)


• Yo! Yo! Yo! (At least it would get your attention)

I have not tackled this task since, but after writing this blog I kinda feel like brainstorming...

My Eye!

So, was anyone else thinking about what Usama's last words were when he was killed?



Yep, that's it. That's my joke.

What? Were you expecting an expertly edited paint file?

CC :)

Twilight Zone Episode 5: Seriously? This is my Life?

My life is a roller coaster. Perhaps I am bi-polar, perhaps fate is screwing with me or maybe I am not pushing myself hard enough and have become complacent and lazy. Here is the down and dirty on my life's big and little annoyances, just in case you were wondering about my absence here...

The Interview: So the interview went great. I even got offered the job. I really wanted it. it was PERFECT for me. What sucked is that I had to turn it down based on two aspects.

#1: the job is only 30 hours a week. The position was PR and Marketing Coordinator including all PR and media relations, all marketing including total website design re-haul, and all event planning including half of the development/fundraising duties. Did I mention that this place had lost their accreditation? Add that to the PR duties and you have a 60 hour per week job my friends. Oh, and also obviously you would have to attend all events on evenings and weekends.

#2: The hourly pay for said 30 hour a week overload job? $11 per hour. Um, yea, that is not a typo, I said $11 per hour. The website re-haul and design alone would garner 3 times that hourly amount for even a beginner like me!

With the events on weeknights and weekends throughout the year, I would have to have a VERY flexible part time job who would pay me incredibly well so that I could move there, rent and apartment and pay my expenses.


A New Computer: Then, I finally purchased a new PC laptop. I did my research, went with the Acer brand that has served me so well up to this point because investing in the MAC I want is not a financially sound option right now. It was delivered in 3 days, and three weeks later I was sending it back. It kept freezing on me in startup to the point where the only fix was to unplug and pull out the battery. Not cool. In hopes it was just a lemon, I exchanged for another new of the same and it will be arriving today. I REALLY hope I don't have to do this again...or I might just return for a refund, screw all and get the mac. Grrrrrr.


Match is a Joke: I ended my subscription so they don't charge me for another 6 months automatically. It ends May 15th. I was talking with a few guys, and it was getting annoying. One wanted a pen pal and the other wanted to talk right away. Neither had any initiative.

When I hinted at Pen Pal Boy that too many emails can zap conversation to nothing once you meet in person, he wrote back that he was hoping I would ask him out...Um, I didn't. Let's be realistic, if a girl is emailing you back and forth, she is probably waiting for you to ask her out. She will say yes, because if she wasn't interested she wouldn't be emailing you 50 times! Now he keeps emailing me saying he hasn't heard from me in a while. That's probably because I am not impressed by his lack of knowledge of the written English language OR the fact that he left his balls in his Mom's purse.

The other guy, let's call him Kilt Boy, seemed like he was willing to move ahead and gave me his number after 2 emails. I called him around 7pm and got his voicemail so I left him a message that I would not have cell service after 8pm and that he could give me a call back another night this week if he wanted. When I went to bed at 10:30 that night I noticed a missed call and voicemail from Kilt Boy from 9:30pm. So either he didn't listen to my message OR he called when he knew I wouldn't answer so I would have to call him again like a lame game. I waited a few days, and emailed him to let him know I was still interested in chatting so he could give me a call whenever he was free. I got an email back saying he was around all weekend. He never called and I never called him. Was he looking to schedule a call? Was he looking for me to call him? I already did that. Man up!


LOST: I have misplaced the second season of Dollhouse. I have looked everywhere for it and cannot find it. Now, on a scale of important things to worry about, that may not seems very important. But in the scheme of things that have come to pass lately, it saddens me greatly. I continue my searches, though my confidence in all things is waning.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I got up way too early today. I have an interview at 2 pm today, so I wanted to have a well paced morning. That didn't exactly work out. Up at 6:30am, coffee, email, last minute fact finding for my interview, breakfast, and the next lesson module of my class and then it was 9am. Yea, 9am.

Some surfing, a few phone calls and some more facts for my interview. 10am. UG !

Shower, situated, 2nd breakfast (I am not eating lunch to stave off the inevitable pre-interview anxious stomach) and some conversation with my nephew. Now it's 11:30am.

A little blog post, and then I will be getting ready and leaving by 12:45ish.I have a 45 minute drive to my interview, so I will be early, but hey, a little more waiting won't hurt!

Wish me employment!

Piehole Tsunami!

Recent photgraphic evidence has surfaced that the Tsunami was not caused by the 8.9 earthquake.




Piehole, whilst on shore leave from her cruiseship, decided to cliff dive in the pacific rim. Moments later, a destructive tsunami of epic proportions erupted. This drastic decision has left Japan paralized and the world scrambling to assist in any way they can.





I was reminded recently when I saw an old family photo that Piehole was in, that I should use this to my advantage. Understanding that not everyone will find this funny, but those who know Piehole may get a chuckle. Bad taste is rampant here on CClifeblog, but let it be known that I do feel terrible for the Japanese people during this horrendous natural disaster and mean no ill will or harm.

Phishing Scams Hound CClifeBlog Email Account

These guys must think they are so smart. The emails are getting better, and I am sure some dumb asses fall for it, but really? Come on! It's SOOOO obvious it's a phishing scam. Here is the email I replied to (my reply is in red). I flagged these two emails and marked them as phishing scams, but I am sure others will come. Can you blame me for wanted to have a bit of fun?



From: arkie1928@hotmail.com
To: arkie1928@hotmail.com
Subject: ACCOUNT ALERT!!!
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 05:42:09 -0500


Dear Account Owner

This Email is from Msn-Live-Hotmail Customer Care™ and we are sending it to all Msn-Live-Hotmail AccountsOwner for safety. We are having congestion due to the anonymous registration of Msn-Live-Hotmail accounts so we are shutting down some Msn-Live-Hotmail accounts and your account is among those to be deactivated. We are sending this email to you so that you can verify and let us know if this account is still valid? If it is, Please kindly confirm your account by first clicking on the show content link highlighted in yellow just above the subject line. The following information is needed to verify your account: Your User name, password, date of birth and your country information.
Click on the reply button and fill in your information:


* Full Name..Ima Notaretard
* User Name:..nicetryasshole@hotmail.com
* Password:...gofuckyourself
* Date of Birth: I was born at night, but not last night!
* Country Or Territory: Of the Country Sarcastic in the Territory of Smarter than You


After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. Thanks for your attention to this request. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his/her account after 24 Hours of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.

Sincerely,
The Windows Live Team™

Microsoft respects your privacy. To learn more, please read our online Privacy Statement.
Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399, USA © 2010 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.



I also received another of these emails, with slightly different content and decided to take another route. I replied back:

The email address you are trying to contact is not receiving any incoming mail at this time.

If you feel this message is in error, please contact Windows Live! support.

The Crazy Classmate Writes Again!

I took my final for my Web Design class on Monday and we have 3 weeks to upload our website as a final (optional) project. While everyone else is finishing up the class, crazy Karen is still back on lesson 9 (there are 12 lessons total). Not only that but she insists on including her wacko poetry and her obsession with the band Paperlace. I'm really gonna miss these posts!


I finally passed a more advanced table of lesson 9. I'm happy.
by: Karen

Well, Hello There:

To begin with, I decided to follow the instructions of each of you teaching assistants, and I had a total blast immediately after I spatially passed the validation of the more advanced table of lesson 9. Moreover, I am reaady to, both, complete the assignments of lession 11 and 12. Furthermore, I, Karen, can testify, that lessons 1 through 10 are completely done. In addition, although I am working, I will still spend time to complete lessons 11 and 12 during the week, and over the weekend. Hopefully, I will also take and pass the final, within the number 2 spot of the completion tab over the weekend also. Finally, I would like to write a very special poem about one of the north seas, for which my grandmother came from--and, I also totally give reference to the music group of Paperlace with their song of "The Night Chicago Died:" However, this poem is called "The Time Our Future Will Thrive."

"It will be an early Spring Friday night, we shall be running towards the eastern U.S. coast."
"And, on this very early Spring Friday night, we will rapidly swim the North Atlantic Sea at our very most."

"We'll see and hear the North Atlantic thrive." "We'll be spatially delighted when Duea, France, the rest of Europe, and the Western world will spatially unite, and come alive." "Oh, what a fantastic Friday night it will really be!" "Oh, what a delightfully happy night, for everyone, it will really be!'
"Oh!...Yes sir re!"

"And, on this early Spring Friday night, when we each reach the North Atlantic sea, we will each take a very giant leap." "And, at the Boston, Massachutes, North Atlantic coast, we will each take a very, very, very giant leap.!"

"We'll see and hear the North Atlantic thrive!" We'll be spatially delighted when Duea, France, the rest of Europe, and the Western world will spatially unite, and come alive." Oh, what a fantastic Friday night it will really be!" "Oh, what a delightfully happy night, for everyone, it will really be!"
"Oh, Yes sir re!"

Sincerely,
Karen
03/01/2011
at 19:40 Hours, Central-Standad-Time.