T'was the Night before Christmas, PieHole!

Here is a story of a family getting what they REALLY want for Christmas. FRom the slightly twisted mind of me to you, Enjoy!



T'was the night before Christmas
and all through the place
there were insults and yelling
from PieHole's Fat face.

The stockings were hung, the house looked real pretty
PieHole complained "My life is so shitty!"

The children were cowering away in their beds
and thinking about the headaches in their heads
For PieHole was freaking, and Tim was in shock
"How much would it cost, to knock off her block?"

Tim sprang from his chair, he knew what was the matter
PieHole was irritable and getting fatter and fatter
Away to the wine rack he flew like a stork
Popped open the bottle and threw down the cork!

He poured her a glass right up to the brim
he knew her intoxication would gladly save him
Then what did happen, for Tim was surprised
When he looked round the corner and saw three pairs of eyes

The girls were awakened, they knew what to do
They sat PieHole down by the fireplace flu
PieHole began to rise saying "I'll take none of your sass!"
"be quiet PieHole! Sit back on your ass!"

"Your meaness and rudeness have taken a toll
Your a bitch, a crazy! We call you PieHole!!
On top of all that you are horrible to Dad
You're Psycho Mom, in fact you're quite mad!!"

Like teaching an old dog new tricks, no dice
When she met with these words she turned straight to ice
She began to swear using all she had known
She was rabid like a dog who fights for a bone

And then, the next moment she heard on the deck
Mr. Jackson escaped! and she yelled "what the Heck?"
As Tim drew in a breath Mr Jackson soon darted
Pie hole got so scared she stood up, then farted

"After that Cat!" she snarled and growled
"You can't leave him out there at night on the prowel!"
Tim said "he's ok, he'll be back in the morning"
but PieHole came out with a extreme warning!

"You get out there you measely wimp!
or I will give you a permanent limp!"
"Tell you what" Tim said with a grin
"I'll make you a wager, 'cause I know I will win"

He proposed that she look for Mr Jackson the cat
"If you'd make yourself useful you wouldn't be so fat!
and if you cannot find him by early morning light
you'll give me all custody and the house with no fight!"

"I'll take that bet and you'll be sorry I did!
I know exactly where Mr. Jackson has hid!"
Though out in the yard was a red suited man
Santa stole Mr. Jackson and to his sled he ran!

PieHole in her ginormous coat and shoes
began her search by following mews
it was all she could do to walk down the street
Her big fat ass was hurting her feet!

As dawn began to break she couldn't find the cat
and Tim was granted custody, the house and all of that
Without a job Piehole had hardly any cash
She started wishing that she really had Wipe Lash!

She left the house for good, and without a fight
And you could hear Tim say as she drove out of sight
We'll have a Merry Christmas now that is true
Happy New Year to all! and Mr. Jackson too!!