INTERNAL MEMO: Agent Pokahontas Compromised

TO: "The Agency"
FROM: Agent Pokahontas
STATUS: TOP SECRET

Recently Members of "The Family" have been targeted by Red Squirrel Agents in the name of PieHole. After "Mr. X" was sent threatening emails via the Red Squirrel Network, I was the next victim on their list. My incident did not involve computers and the internet however, but it did involve a cunning plan of secrecy, spying and intel gathering by Red Squirrel covert ops.

I was awakened to a gnawing and scratching sound at 4:30am last week. It seemed to be coming from one of my closets in my bedroom. I listened, tracked and decided it was safe to open the closet. It seemed something was in the attic crawl space in the ceiling...I told my apartment complex maintenance team. Their explaination?
"Squirrels eat nuts, and sometimes they eat them on the roof and it sounds like they are in the walls. If you hear it again, you let us know." These maintenance men are obviously in cahoots with the Red Squirrels and PieHole. Little did they know that their coverup story would not go unnoticed by a country girl!

A few nights later my roomate could here the gnawing and scratching noises in her bedroom closet ceiling. Then it happened again the following night and again last night. She said it sounded like whatever it was seemed to be heading towards my room next door.

I believe those fiends are weaving an intricate tunneling system in the walls of our apartment so as to bug and monitor my movements. Although I have been on leave as an agent of "The Agency" for the past few months, I feel that my identity has been compromised and extreme caution should be used from now on.
I have been gathering some intel of my own, including the following pictures I have taken over the past few days. I hope that my recon and subsequent Case File will assist in the capture and detainment of any Red Squirrel agents monitoring my apartment.


CASE FILE: TOP SECRET

Red Squirrels are notoriously greedy animals especially when it comes to food. This is one characteristic that can be used to "The Agency's" advantage since it can slow them down considerably making escape practically impossible.
Conclusion: Large nuts = Slow moving target = easy capture.



This picture was one of my first tips that something was afoot at my complex. Red Squirrels are anything but subtle!


I was able to get a close up of this agent without his knowledge because I have installed Apple Camera's in the trees surrounding my apartment. Notice the Com-Link he is wearing: It seems that they are even more technologically advanced than we first anticipated.


Although Red Squirrels will make themselves look all cute and loveable, don't judge this book by it's cover. These rodents are scheming, diabolical agents of PieHole who strive for the degredation of "The Agency".
END OF CASE FILE...

At this point, I have been put back on active duty, and will continue to collect any information on the movement of Red Squirrel Agents in the vacinity. My long time friend and colleage Special Agent Sacajawea will be arriving on Saturday morning from NYC. She will be in deep cover as a "Visiting Friend" to conduct recon of her own at my apartment. Wine and food have been purchased to make the rouse seem authentic, so as to throw the Red Squirrel agents off our trail. Updates will be posted Tuesday when I return from this mission.

Be vigilant, be strong and be mysterious my friends!

Agent Pokahontas