I Want a New Drug...

Since I am swamped here at work today I thought I would post this hysterical email I received from my friend Lura.


NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN


D A M N I T O L : Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


ST. M O M M A'S W O R T : Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.


P E P T O B I M B O: Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.


D U M B E R O L :When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.


M E N I C I L L I N: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .Can we get naked now?.


BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.


J A C K A S S P I R I N :Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.


A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


Have a great weekend everyone!!!