A Pity Party?

As you have read, recently a coworker of mine has gotten engaged. She is 46 years old, divorced (obviously), has two twenty-something children who are grown and married themselves and has found a wonderful man who is in the same boat as she (divorced, 46, w/ a teenage daughter). I am very happy for her because it's nice when two people find each other, but also b/c I thought she would stop yapping about how she is single. Imagine how I felt, listening to this woman complan that she had a failed marriage and would never find true love. Yeah, kind of annoying is an understatement. Maybe now that she is engaged she will chill out, right? Think again.

I am a fairly even-keeled person when it comes to being single, dating and marriage issues etc. I am not the type who HAS to have a boyfriend every second, HAS to get married by a certain age etc. I am a strong independent woman, but somehow, the comments I have been getting lately have been jading me to an unprecidented level. My friends and family are even astonished that any of this bothers me in the least, and I surprise myself actually.

So now that she is engaged, all she talks about is her ring and the honeymoon package they booked and getting a house and buying things for it and planing the wedding...blahblahblah friggin' blah!! Then today she comes out with (after spending 10 minutes gushing about their honeymoon plans to me) "I just have a hard time with it sometimes tho because I know I have girlfriends out there who don't have anyone, and it's soooo hard, and I feel so bad for them"

OK CUT! STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

Am I the only one who feels that knife in my back diving deeper? Is that supposed to make me feel better? How did I ever become so lucky to be given a surprise Pity Party? I don't think anyone has ever given me one of those before!!

Let me tell you what, you can pity me until you are blue in the face, but I will not partake. Maybe she has someone to come home to at night now and I don't, but that means I also don't have anyone to answer to, take care of, and if I wanted to hop a plane to Romania tomorrow, I could do it. I am not cheapening relationships, they are wonderful and worth every minute when you are in love. Luckily, I can say I have experienced that, HOWEVER, being single means FREEDOM and Freedom doesn't need a pity party!

I think people always think the grass is greener and that everyone thinks the way they do. Unfortunately this is not the case. Being single has it's pros and cons as does being in a relationship. Some people are gung ho to get married and some people are more relaxed and don't mind taking their time to make sure it's done right the first time. Maybe this is a repeat post from a few back, but I just can't believe that in this century single girls are treated like they have a "freshness date", as if they will be rotten if left out in the world alone past age 30! ( I realize that we are up from last century's age 20, but come on!)

I mean honestly, why is everyone so worried about me? I'm not! I admit it, I am a tough customer! I'm picky and certain things I will not abide. I need to find a guy who has the guts to go ten rounds with me, be a man not a milktoast, and keep me interested. I realize there may not be many out there, but I remain optimistically detached. (hmmm, I think that's my new favorite phrase...optimistically detached...it's got a nice ring to it!)

The good news is my skin is toughening and this last situation actually made me laugh. This, even after a comment was made at my departmental holiday lunch about some one FINALLY getting married...(with me being the only single person at the table). Thank goodness for character building exercises, huh? Althought I thought I was full of character already!!!

Tomorrow is the end of the week for me and a very special Whatever Wednesday!!! (insert maniacal laugh here)