Match.com Message: Looking for a loyal woman‏

This has got to be the weirdest email I have gotten so far. He saw my profile and emailed instead of winking. Good move however, be careful what you wish for. hahah!


"Hello,

My name is Matt, I am open minded and nonjudgmental - I am looking for a kind hearted woman who has a bit of a bit of a wild streak. I enjoy life and am looking for someone to share it with. I enjoy traveling and would like to do it more..

I have been separated for 4yrs, divorce was started in June.

I enjoy martial arts, chess, going out for dinner, a nice walk in the park, or a hike, a good movie, I like bowling and tennis - but I am terrible at both. I enjoy going for a drive, heading to the casino, a weekend in NYC, or just staying at home every now and then. I love flying (earned my private pilots license). I love amusement parks. This is a big one - I can not go a day without a good cup of coffee...

I work hard own my own business and am not looking to play games with anyone. I am sorry I did not post a photo but I am glad to sen d one, just thinking I do not want my customers or my ex to know my private life.. If you are interested in that photo my email is mgoodrich1 at g mail dot com..

I call when I say I will. I will do what I say, and I am not afraid to cook dinner when needed.

Have a good day
Matt"


I am tempted to write back:

"Thank you for your interest in the position of "My Boyfriend". Your resume was very interesting, especially since you are willing to cook when needed and are looking for a woman with "a bit of a bit of a wild streak". Unfortunately you do not meet the standard requirements and you sound like a robot. Since you did not include a photo, I am unable to keep your resume on file as it was incomplete.

CC"


Just a few things I can't get past and have to comment on:

Red Flag #1: Starting out with "I am open minded and nonjudgmental" means you probably are neither

Red Flag #2: "I am looking for a kind hearted woman who has a bit of a bit of a wild streak." First...proofread that shit! First impressions... Secondly, a wild streak can mean many things, perhaps you phrased that incorrectly.

Red Flag #3: He's "willing to cook when needed" ? Will you also do the laundry when needed? How do you feel about vacuuming and dusting? Doing dishes? How about I email you and ask for that photo of you when needed. BTW, that means it won't happen...ever.