Life or Something Like it

What NOT to Name Your Consulting Business

2011-07-05T10:43:00.002-04:00

It's been over two months since there was anything worth blogging about. Last month I was brainstorming for names for a consulting business and quickly realized that I was not in the right frame of mind for this important task. You know how one bad idea comes out and it turns into a circus of seeing how off-kilter you can get. Here is a list of the best of the worst that came out of that session.

Marketing Meltdown (Obviously I was having one that day)

Cougar Consulting (Not that I am that old yet, but you have to plan for the future!)

Mediocre Marketing

Manic Marketing

Moat Marketing- You're Surrounded!

Misfit Marketing

Smells like Marketing

Why Not? Consulting

Cantankerous Consulting

Creepy Cool Consulting

Craptastic Consulting - We'll Market the Shit Out of You!

Cream Corn (Random and interesting, don't you think?)

Shut the Front Door Marketing

Market This

Market That

Musical Marketing

Mostly Marketing (I wonder what other services I could offer? Joke writing perhaps?)

Yo! Yo! Yo! (At least it would get your attention)

I have not tackled this task since, but after writing this blog I kinda feel like brainstorming...

My Eye!

2011-05-05T16:25:00.003-04:00

So, was anyone else thinking about what Usama's last words were when he was killed?

Yep, that's it. That's my joke.

What? Were you expecting an expertly edited paint file?

CC :)

Twilight Zone Episode 5: Seriously? This is my Life?

2011-04-29T11:02:00.006-04:00

My life is a roller coaster. Perhaps I am bi-polar, perhaps fate is screwing with me or maybe I am not pushing myself hard enough and have become complacent and lazy. Here is the down and dirty on my life's big and little annoyances, just in case you were wondering about my absence here...

The Interview: So the interview went great. I even got offered the job. I really wanted it. it was PERFECT for me. What sucked is that I had to turn it down based on two aspects.

#1: the job is only 30 hours a week. The position was PR and Marketing Coordinator including all PR and media relations, all marketing including total website design re-haul, and all event planning including half of the development/fundraising duties. Did I mention that this place had lost their accreditation? Add that to the PR duties and you have a 60 hour per week job my friends. Oh, and also obviously you would have to attend all events on evenings and weekends.

#2: The hourly pay for said 30 hour a week overload job? $11 per hour. Um, yea, that is not a typo, I said $11 per hour. The website re-haul and design alone would garner 3 times that hourly amount for even a beginner like me!

With the events on weeknights and weekends throughout the year, I would have to have a VERY flexible part time job who would pay me incredibly well so that I could move there, rent and apartment and pay my expenses.

A New Computer: Then, I finally purchased a new PC laptop. I did my research, went with the Acer brand that has served me so well up to this point because investing in the MAC I want is not a financially sound option right now. It was delivered in 3 days, and three weeks later I was sending it back. It kept freezing on me in startup to the point where the only fix was to unplug and pull out the battery. Not cool. In hopes it was just a lemon, I exchanged for another new of the same and it will be arriving today. I REALLY hope I don't have to do this again...or I might just return for a refund, screw all and get the mac. Grrrrrr.

Match is a Joke: I ended my subscription so they don't charge me for another 6 months automatically. It ends May 15th. I was talking with a few guys, and it was getting annoying. One wanted a pen pal and the other wanted to talk right away. Neither had any initiative.

When I hinted at Pen Pal Boy that too many emails can zap conversation to nothing once you meet in person, he wrote back that he was hoping I would ask him out...Um, I didn't. Let's be realistic, if a girl is emailing you back and forth, she is probably waiting for you to ask her out. She will say yes, because if she wasn't interested she wouldn't be emailing you 50 times! Now he keeps emailing me saying he hasn't heard from me in a while. That's probably because I am not impressed by his lack of knowledge of the written English language OR the fact that he left his balls in his Mom's purse.

The other guy, let's call him Kilt Boy, seemed like he was willing to move ahead and gave me his number after 2 emails. I called him around 7pm and got his voicemail so I left him a message that I would not have cell service after 8pm and that he could give me a call back another night this week if he wanted. When I went to bed at 10:30 that night I noticed a missed call and voicemail from Kilt Boy from 9:30pm. So either he didn't listen to my message OR he called when he knew I wouldn't answer so I would have to call him again like a lame game. I waited a few days, and emailed him to let him know I was still interested in chatting so he could give me a call whenever he was free. I got an email back saying he was around all weekend. He never called and I never called him. Was he looking to schedule a call? Was he looking for me to call him? I already did that. Man up!

LOST: I have misplaced the second season of Dollhouse. I have looked everywhere for it and cannot find it. Now, on a scale of important things to worry about, that may not seems very important. But in the scheme of things that have come to pass lately, it saddens me greatly. I continue my searches, though my confidence in all things is waning.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2011-04-08T11:28:00.005-04:00

I got up way too early today. I have an interview at 2 pm today, so I wanted to have a well paced morning. That didn't exactly work out. Up at 6:30am, coffee, email, last minute fact finding for my interview, breakfast, and the next lesson module of my class and then it was 9am. Yea, 9am.

Some surfing, a few phone calls and some more facts for my interview. 10am. UG !

Shower, situated, 2nd breakfast (I am not eating lunch to stave off the inevitable pre-interview anxious stomach) and some conversation with my nephew. Now it's 11:30am.

A little blog post, and then I will be getting ready and leaving by 12:45ish.I have a 45 minute drive to my interview, so I will be early, but hey, a little more waiting won't hurt!

Wish me employment!

Piehole Tsunami!

2011-03-14T14:24:00.004-04:00

Recent photgraphic evidence has surfaced that the Tsunami was not caused by the 8.9 earthquake.

Piehole, whilst on shore leave from her cruiseship, decided to cliff dive in the pacific rim. Moments later, a destructive tsunami of epic proportions erupted. This drastic decision has left Japan paralized and the world scrambling to assist in any way they can.

I was reminded recently when I saw an old family photo that Piehole was in, that I should use this to my advantage. Understanding that not everyone will find this funny, but those who know Piehole may get a chuckle. Bad taste is rampant here on CClifeblog, but let it be known that I do feel terrible for the Japanese people during this horrendous natural disaster and mean no ill will or harm.

Phishing Scams Hound CClifeBlog Email Account

2011-03-04T09:22:00.004-05:00

These guys must think they are so smart. The emails are getting better, and I am sure some dumb asses fall for it, but really? Come on! It's SOOOO obvious it's a phishing scam. Here is the email I replied to (my reply is in red). I flagged these two emails and marked them as phishing scams, but I am sure others will come. Can you blame me for wanted to have a bit of fun?

From: arkie1928@hotmail.com
To: arkie1928@hotmail.com
Subject: ACCOUNT ALERT!!!
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 05:42:09 -0500

Dear Account Owner

This Email is from Msn-Live-Hotmail Customer Care™ and we are sending it to all Msn-Live-Hotmail AccountsOwner for safety. We are having congestion due to the anonymous registration of Msn-Live-Hotmail accounts so we are shutting down some Msn-Live-Hotmail accounts and your account is among those to be deactivated. We are sending this email to you so that you can verify and let us know if this account is still valid? If it is, Please kindly confirm your account by first clicking on the show content link highlighted in yellow just above the subject line. The following information is needed to verify your account: Your User name, password, date of birth and your country information.
Click on the reply button and fill in your information:

* Full Name..Ima Notaretard
* User Name:..nicetryasshole@hotmail.com
* Password:...gofuckyourself
* Date of Birth: I was born at night, but not last night!
* Country Or Territory: Of the Country Sarcastic in the Territory of Smarter than You

After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. Thanks for your attention to this request. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his/her account after 24 Hours of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.

Sincerely,
The Windows Live Team™

Microsoft respects your privacy. To learn more, please read our online Privacy Statement.
Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399, USA © 2010 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

I also received another of these emails, with slightly different content and decided to take another route. I replied back:

The email address you are trying to contact is not receiving any incoming mail at this time.

If you feel this message is in error, please contact Windows Live! support.

The Crazy Classmate Writes Again!

2011-03-02T14:00:00.001-05:00

I took my final for my Web Design class on Monday and we have 3 weeks to upload our website as a final (optional) project. While everyone else is finishing up the class, crazy Karen is still back on lesson 9 (there are 12 lessons total). Not only that but she insists on including her wacko poetry and her obsession with the band Paperlace. I'm really gonna miss these posts!

I finally passed a more advanced table of lesson 9. I'm happy.
by: Karen

Well, Hello There:

To begin with, I decided to follow the instructions of each of you teaching assistants, and I had a total blast immediately after I spatially passed the validation of the more advanced table of lesson 9. Moreover, I am reaady to, both, complete the assignments of lession 11 and 12. Furthermore, I, Karen, can testify, that lessons 1 through 10 are completely done. In addition, although I am working, I will still spend time to complete lessons 11 and 12 during the week, and over the weekend. Hopefully, I will also take and pass the final, within the number 2 spot of the completion tab over the weekend also. Finally, I would like to write a very special poem about one of the north seas, for which my grandmother came from--and, I also totally give reference to the music group of Paperlace with their song of "The Night Chicago Died:" However, this poem is called "The Time Our Future Will Thrive."

"It will be an early Spring Friday night, we shall be running towards the eastern U.S. coast."
"And, on this very early Spring Friday night, we will rapidly swim the North Atlantic Sea at our very most."

"We'll see and hear the North Atlantic thrive." "We'll be spatially delighted when Duea, France, the rest of Europe, and the Western world will spatially unite, and come alive." "Oh, what a fantastic Friday night it will really be!" "Oh, what a delightfully happy night, for everyone, it will really be!'
"Oh!...Yes sir re!"

"And, on this early Spring Friday night, when we each reach the North Atlantic sea, we will each take a very giant leap." "And, at the Boston, Massachutes, North Atlantic coast, we will each take a very, very, very giant leap.!"

"We'll see and hear the North Atlantic thrive!" We'll be spatially delighted when Duea, France, the rest of Europe, and the Western world will spatially unite, and come alive." Oh, what a fantastic Friday night it will really be!" "Oh, what a delightfully happy night, for everyone, it will really be!"
"Oh, Yes sir re!"

Sincerely,
Karen
03/01/2011
at 19:40 Hours, Central-Standad-Time.

Gaddafi and Charlie Sheen

2011-03-01T11:48:00.007-05:00

A few more pics for your entertainment. Thanks to Lamby for the inspiration! As usual, click on the photo to see larger version.

Devo secret revealed: Who is the "Star of the Keytar"??? Muammar!!!!

BFFs? Charlie Sheen seems to have aligned himself with other like minded individuals in a picture taken this past weekend as the annual Ego Maniacs Jamboree in the Catskills.

Sheen's Career: From a cameo in Ferris to his crazy interviews this week, foreshadowing or life imitating art?

Help Charlie get clean and sober. Can you find all the drugs in this photo? (Answers at the bottom)

Answers: cannabis plant, joint in mouth, wild turkey bottle, pink bong and huge pile of blow!

Fun with Muammar Gaddafi!

2011-02-28T14:35:00.009-05:00

Sunglasses, outrageous outfits and wild hand gestures seem to make this Libyan Dictator stand out, and not in a good way. His mental illness, as most dictators eventually express because of their delusions of omnipotence, is there for all to dissect. This week, let's have some fun at Muammar's expense. Here are a few of my first thoughts, enjoy!

80's movies always had interesting takes on fashions of the future. Here is a comparison you might enjoy. Everyone remembers the Future Dudes from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", right?

The plaque on his desk actually says "Coalition of Time Travelers, Cabinet Member, 1980's Movie Reference Research Division"

Dr. Seuss might have something to say about the similarities here:

"I will use it IN my car
I will use it ON my car
If it rains or if it's sunny
Umbrellas are quite funny!"

More on tap tomorrow!

Writing Clarification

2011-02-23T08:55:00.003-05:00

In my last post, I may have misstated my reason for putting together a portfolio. I did mention a "career choice" which is not exactly truthful. It would be more of a freelance thing in local newspapers, or eventually trying to approach a magazine that fits my style of writing, but nothing more serious than that. I realize I have no real experience in writing, with exception to the business and marketing writing I have done for jobs. I can't count this blog as experience simply because it was created and maintained on a whim, explaining it's unfocused and incredibly varied content.

Writing is something I enjoy doing. Let's face it: if you are a reader of this blog it's not because I'm the most intelligent, technical or enlightened writer. You read it because it makes you laugh. I spew forth whatever I think is funny and if it makes you laugh I have accomplished my goal. Whether you comment, email or speak to me in person, thanks for appreciating my blog and my sense of humor.

HELP Me Build a Portfolio!

2011-02-21T17:17:00.005-05:00

I thought I would try to post from my iPod today. Yes, my iPod. I guess this is a good way to keep my posts short and readable!
We will see how this turns out.

I need the your help gentle readers. Yeah, you! Whether you have commented on posts or enjoy lurking, now is the time to speak up!
I am putting together a "portfolio" of my writing and hoped if there were a few posts that stuck out you could recommend them for inclusion.
If you think I am crazy or that it's about time I got off my ass and tried my hand at writing for a career choice please let me know as well. Constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome!

Have you ever put together a portfolio? From artwork to writing samples it must all work the same, but if you have experience in this area I would love to hear any advice. I assume I need an array of writing styles from serious to humorous, researchy to pure fiction. Yep. I said researchy...blame Joss Whedon. Also, if you have a topic for a post in an area you think I am lacking in, let me know and I will get on it.

Signing off from my iPod (which is sort of a slow and painful way to post on a blog),

CC

Puke Enducing Message

2011-02-18T13:10:00.001-05:00

At this point on match I am getting the guys who winked at me 3 months ago and either forgot or decided to give it another try. A few crusty old men and more of the same. It is getting old and very boring.

This guy sent me an email and I think you will remember him from Fun With Profiles & Pics Part 2: (Click the pic to enlarge for readability)

I think I need to go throw up now.

In other news, the winter weather canceled both of my second dates a while back. Winter is sort of hard to navigate especially with all the snow and bad driving conditions around here this season. Oh well!

Hello, My Name is Low Self-Esteem, Wanna Date?

2011-02-14T10:00:00.003-05:00

I feel especially bad for this guy, because he probably is nice enough, he just never got the memo about focusing on the positive. Would you start your cover letter with "I'm not very good at this and you probably won't hire me, but here are my qualifications anyway..."? Yea. I didn't think so. Check this out:

He sent me this email:
"Hello
I'm not good at this so I'd thought I'd drop a line and just say hi. If you're not interested, well then I guess I won't here back. If you are, and I know my profile isn't the best piece of writing, ask away and I can elaborate. I do have two little princesses which isn't what you're looking for, but if you change your mind..."

After that I really didn't want to even look at his profile. For some reason, I didn't have the warm fuzzies, go figure! Part of his main Profile opener was at the top of the email so here is part of that. Nothing like beating a dead spider! (sorry, I don't like envisioning dead horseys. Dead spiders on the other hand, no problem!)

Honest, dependable with a touch of clown and a lot to offer...I can be your special someone.
First off, it's not the best photo of me, but it'll have to do. Not sure on what to write and never thought I'd be doing this, so don't rush to judgment on what I put, please. It's hard to meet people and break the ice, so I figure this might help. I'm not a great writer, especially when it comes to myself, but here goes...

I love the main hook line: a touch of clown That can be scary...especially when he clearly isn't a psycho clown but a sad, depressed, negative, low self-esteem clown. (insert B-Horror movie scream here)

He also makes reference to the fact that he has two little princesses in his email...that is exactly why I do not want a guy who already has kids. If you call your little girls princesses or refer to them as such to others, there is a MAJOR issue there. In my experience, they are spoiled brats who rule the roost. Sorry, I don't put up with that shit, especially from kids who are not biologically my own. Judge me if you must, but that is not the dynamic I am looking for. I am not planning on changing my mind on my preferences regarding children, education and religion, EVER.

Was that last rant a psycho moment? LOL. Hey, I have strong convictions. That's a good thing!

Ode to a Crazy-Ass Classmate

2011-02-11T10:00:00.001-05:00

This past week has reminded of the new wave sounds of that popular 80's band Duran Duran and how they must have felt when compiling their Greatest hits album entitled "Decade" in 1989 on the EMI Records label.

(OK. Not really, but in the spirit of parody and keping in mind that I was actually listening to that afore mentioned Duran Duran compilation, hang on to your potatos!)

So here goes my Ode to K, the crazy-ass classmate, who writes insane and ridiculous posts and poetry, keeping the discussion boards of my web design class interesting. Funny, she hasn't made a peep in the discussion from Lesson 7...

It's "The Reflex" she said
and the understanding of the universe
It's not "The Union of the Snake"
Tugging, tugging, tugging at your purse.

Don't "Save a Prayer" for me now
"I'm Hungry Like The Wolf", drinking milk from a cow
The whales and the fishes in the sea
Hear the call of the web pages that be.

"Her name is CC and I dances on the sand
and when she codes, she truly shows you all she can"
Html and links, a website 'bout a boardwalk way out west
"CC you're something special, cause your coding is the best!"

I've worked so hard on assignments 6 and 7
All of my quizzes have been 100's thank heaven!
Maybe because I do the reading and practice on my own
Listening to Duran Duran and their catchy tone.

"Wild Boys!" and "Girls on Film"
I know a potter who has a kiln
Match.com will resume next week
Although I think I am past my peak!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

K: Off Topic and Off Her Rocker

2011-02-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

I am not sure what she means about "direct input", and seeing as though a majority of this post is not even remotely related to the class, I shudder to think what her next post will be. Don't worry, I am sure it will be increasingly screwy and you know I will post that. Why? Because you just can't make this shit up! (I think that would be a great title for my late night cable comedy series. Late night cable because you can't say 'shit' on the networks!)

Please keep the direct input. Moreover, the direct input mode is the very screen that teaches each of everyone of us, to think about what we are writing while designing web-pages. By the way, I remember the last fairly short poem that I wrote. I have another poem for which I really give clear reference to musician Edwin Star, regarding his Fall of 1970 hit called "War!" My poem is caled taking the easy way out.

"Taking the easy way out!
What is it, and what will it be all about!
Definately zero or nothing.
Taking the easy method at solving problems only leads to much, much deeper trouble.
For if you should take the easy way out at solving problems, you better get back in shape on
the very double.
For taking the easy way out, as to solving many problems could lead to disaster astrey!
For taking the easy way out on solving problems can't provide any of us peaceful futures.
It can only strip them away."

Karen
02/05/2011

For some reason, I feel a poem coming on. Check in tomorrow!

K's 1st Poem (& other Gobbledygook)

2011-02-09T11:00:00.001-05:00

OK. Seriously you guys. If you can understand this post and the "poem" that follows, kudos! I am completely perplexed and have read it a few times and still cannot make sense of parts. I am still wondering what the "" quote marks mean, and am convinced it is another personality interjecting their comments and questions into Karen's posts. "Craig" is the Instructor, and "all of you guys" must mean the rest of the class, even though only one brave classmate tried to help in her second post. No one has commented since. It's getting creepier y'all, so hang on!

Well, Hello, Craig, and all of you guys:

To begin with, after arround eight to ten tries, I finally dd well on the assignmen of chapter 6. Moreover, I am still reading and studying chapter 6 just before I take the quiz later on on Saturday, Febuary 05, 2011. Furthermore, because I want to do at least reasonably well on the lesson 6 quiz, I decided to re-read lessons one through five. "By the way, I found out that note-pad really works better than Word Pad would at designing millions of web-pages. Moreover, I'm so spatially glad that you have the direct input item that I could use" "Do any of you guys realize that I almost borded my way even further South West bound to by a web program where I could design thousands of web-pages. As a matter of fact I really feel the very same way that the group "Paper Lace felt, during the early autumn of 1974 (late August 1974 to early October 1974) when they produced the song called "The Night Chicago Died." Well, I really have the same type of poem, and I can assure you that when I wrote this unique poem, I still really give reference to the music group of Paper Lace. However, since I visuallized myself running, sailing, swimming, and traveling North West bound, I labled my poem The Night That Salem Died."

"It was an early autumn Friday night!
We were each walking, running, and heaading for the North West North Pacific coast.
And, on that very Autumn Friday night, we were ready to swim the North Pacific sea at are most."
"And, on that early autumn Friday night, we were each ready to dive into the North Pacific sea at
a very giant leap. Thus, on that Autumn Friday night, we each dove into the North Pacifc sea very, very deep.'
"I heard the North Pacific cry!"
'I was totally frightened on the night that Salem died"
"I heard from all those troubled North Pacific sea creatures, as they would whale and cry.
I was firghtend the night that salem died."

karen

I am speechless. No one can prepare you for this kind of crazy.

Another of Karen's prose up tomorrow!

K is Spacially Abstract!

2011-02-08T11:00:00.003-05:00

First of all, what can I do when I can't get the web-page validator to accept my chapter 6 work which is saved in note-pad? Furthermore, I just found out today, that I can't find a text editor on my computer. The only thing I have is note-pad. How can I purchase a text editor that I need immediately?

Karen
g-mail: #####@gmail.com
02/04/2011

Furthermore, from the following exercise, I have an additional idea.

Hey Karen! Note pad IS a Text-Editor!! Good GOD woman! She then proceeds to paste html code into the discussion board post for her web page that we were asked to write code for for the assignment. Here is the content so you can see the pattern of thinking, or perhaps crazy that is Karen.

She clearly has no idea what she is doing. I colored it Orange to keep it consistent that it is her words. her code is atrocious, so I left it alone with exception to the multiple spaces she puts everywhere, which don't matter anyway. The Web page title and description tags should contain your keywords, (and are invisible on the web page itself and useful to search engines) but the only keywords they have in common are 'Karen' and 'art' which isn't very productive.

Her title tags contain: "Karen's Space Bound Art"
Her description tags contain: "Karen's Abstract Three and Four Dimensional Graphic Art"

Welcome to Karen's Spatially Abstract Art!

I, Karen, have numerous, complicated computer paint, and hand-painted pictures of numerous, complex obtjects.� Moreover, all of these computer and hand-made drawing and paintings are detailed photos of many very abstract objects.� Finally, I have many more paint pictures, both computer-paint and hand-painted, of the Most Complex Object in our known universe--The Human Brain.

Your text here.

Way to go Karen! You are absolutely off your nut!

Next up, Karen writes a poem to share on the discussion board!

K Strikes Again!

2011-02-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

Obviously the instructors comments on her first discussion topic were ignored. She even puts her full name and email address do that everyone in the class can see it! I am tempted to take it and sign her up for bi-polar meds and counseling session newsletters online. But I digress...

I need help locating a text editor for my personal computer.
by: Karen

'How do I get a text editor to work with my computer? I need an html text editor for my computer riht now! How do I get one? I have looked everywhere on the Road Runner Internet. "Please, how do I get the text editor that I need!?" "I need this text editor e-mailed to my google e-mail account immediately!" "Please, mail me a text editor to #####@gmail.com."
Sincerely,
K L. H
02/04/2011

I think someone just figured out that she should have gotten the text-editor questions out of the way earlier because this post seems antsy and impatient. The terminology she uses points to the fact that the has NO IDEA about web technology..."I have looked everywhere on the Road Runner Internet." I bet she thinks Al Gore created the Internet too! She needs to take a deep breath, and READ THE CHAPTERS!!!

We've Got A Live One Here!

2011-02-05T11:02:00.004-05:00

I am currently taking a Web Design Class online and couldn't resist posting the ravings of a lunatic in the class. Match has been more of the same, so I figured this would rejuvenate the content and hopefully continue to make you smile. You college-folks (you know who you are!) will most likely have a ton of these stories in your experience, but it might be fun for you anyway. :)

Before I get to her actual discussion posts, I have to give some background. This class is about creating web pages from scratch. We are learning html tags, inserting pictures, creating links, and other basics of web design. This class is great for beginners, specially those without much computer or web knowledge. It also delves deep enough for those of use who have some background and need to solidify what we already know as well as move forward with some new skills.

We have just begun the 6th (out of 12) class. We have covered everything from What the web is and how it works to basic SEO practices at this point. I have not noticed this classmate in the 5 other discussions we have had thus far, and she seems to be way behind considering she is still worrying about a text-editor halfway through the class syllabus. Also, as I had said earlier, the instructor starts from scratch so that people with limited web and computer experience can follow. He explained what a text-editor is, where to find it on your computer and how to download one from the web. he also explained why we use Notepad as opposed to Word pad or Word.

Basically, this woman is a nut-job. She obviously is not reading the chapters or paying attention at all. Now she is flooding the Chapter 6 discussion board with her ravings and also, as you will see, her poetry. Again, my friends, you can't make this shit up! Without further ado, here is her first post:

I am working at understanding where to begin. I believe the most effective thing for me to do would be to re-read chapter 4, lesson 6.
by: K
"Oh, by the way, I think that I figured it out." Moreover, although notepad is really great, word-pad is really helping me to receive even better clues. "In other words, since I will continue to use the note-pad, I also recommend the use of word-pad. By the way, I best understand the concept of key-words and/or keyword phrases.

Sincerely,
K
02/04/2011
Writing to you at 15:50 Hours, Central-Standard-Time.

I love how she signs off. She actually put her full name and middle initial but I got rid of it for obvious reasons. I am not sure what the quoted lines mean. Are they different voices than that of the regular lines? Perplexing? Just wait!

An instructor wrote her back and tried to explain that word pad is NOT to be used, and referred her back to the chapter about text-editors. As you will see, the instructors efforts are futile, as after two crazy posts, they stop responding.

Current Events: Egypt Riots

2011-02-02T12:58:00.004-05:00

We have all seen the horrible unrest in Egypt unfold over the last week. Let me say that this seems to be a delicate situation that is starting to turn violent, which is never good. Before I rant about my personal concerns and make some jokes in bad taste, I want to let you all know that I truly understand how serious this situation is. I hope the Egyptian people can figure this out to their liking and to ours as well without the loss of life and limb, but I think we all know that freedom isn't free.

Aside from the real political and social repercussions of these riots, and those around the region, I am VERY concerned for the Cairo Museum and the wealth of history within its walls. I was heartbroken to hear that looters had stolen artifacts and ruined mummies! What made me so happy was to hear that civilians had taken up guarding these treasures from looters. I am glad that it seems most of the Egyptian people understand the importance of their grand history and it's need for preservation. I still worry, though, with the escalation in violence that further harm will be done. Hopefully the Egyptians realize that without their history and preservation of monuments and artifacts from ancient times they would have no tourist activity there and tourism equals money. I pray Dr. Hawass and his antiquities staff have secured or moved what they can.

Just saw this article: VERY INTERESTING

And now, let's be silly!

Have you ever noticed how when you watch riots, especially in the middle east, they always look like an ancient version of Mega-Doge ball? Think about it. Guys lined up on each side of the street throwing rocks at each other. The rules are slightly different though: If you get hit, you are not out... unless it renders you unconscious!

There were reports of women and children getting caught up in the violence in the square. Well, here's a tip chicks and kids: If you don't want to get hurt, stay out of the RIOTS!

This is horrible to say, but every time an Egyptian on the street involved in the riots is interviewed, all I can think of is this one line in that 80's classic "Jewel of the Nile" starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny Devito. In speaking of the leader of the country a man says "Omar is very bad man!" in a very thick accent. Anyone else remember that?

All kidding aside, I hope the Egyptian people can move forward in peace and harmony. The region is a powder keg and I would hate to see what happens if it should explode further.

Striking a Balance: Too Little vs. Too Much

2011-02-01T09:55:00.003-05:00

Here are a few emails I have gotten this week that seem to be on one side of the spectrum or the other. Some say too little, some say too much. Comments in Pink today!

freestyle said:
"do you like to swim?" Yes.

Luni said:
"heyso how about a date lol" This is the guy who wrote the long letter in the last post. Is he joking? Is he being a smart ass because I ignored his email? As usual, I am confounded by these "boys"

Naz said:
"Hey :-)
How are you!Hey Hows it going :-) Hopefully great!...Your profile really jumped out at me!..It seems like we might have a few things in common wich is great!..Im just looking for someone who's real and that I can laugh my ass off with and have a great time with..And being that I consider myself tottaly Rockin, Hillarious & Down to earth, and being that its seems that like your a awsome person.. I was was wondering, if you would like to chat and get to know each other a bit, Im Nathan, And I hope your having a great night, and I look foward to hearing from you...bye :-)" OMG with the :-)!!! Another guy looking for a REAL girl... this is an epidemic!
This one I can't bring myself to rip too much because his email is so innocent and young. It's as if a spelling challenged 4th grader wrote it. (awwwww!!!) I have to say I agree that I am awesome, and glad he got that from my limited profile information. I wish him luck, he's going to need it. Most girls eat guys like him for breakfast these days. I hope he keeps that childish optimism alive.

On the other hand, I think I found my soul mate. This guy looked at my profile, so I looked at his and I liked what I saw (outdoorsy, black lab, well traveled but lives in the country, musician, intelligent, sense of humor, kilt). LOL. Now I will play the match game and see if he contacts me, which usually works. I could be more forward and contact him, but, I did that once with another guy and that guy never wrote back :(, so, I will remain my traditional self and see what happens.

Are you ready for the big storm? I hope you all have a snow day tomorrow!!!

Not Firing on All Cylinders...

2011-01-26T15:27:00.003-05:00

Hungryhat winking at me... again! Apparently he is not aware that his multiple emails and hopes for the new year are getting REALLY CREEPY. So here is my question to you, gentle reader, should I continue to ignore hungryhat (hasn't worked too well yet) or should I send him an email? If I send an email, am I nice or should I just be blunt and tell him to stop being so weird? Post your comments!

Then, here is this wingnut. Seriously. What kind of introductory email is this? It's half resume and half ramblings of a wacked-out former frat boy. Ummmm yea, I am thinking we a NOT a match. Good luck with that! Comments on the cringeworthy in YELLOW today! And there are so many of them! (I have eliminated his name, names of companies and towns)

"hi, fun loving people are awesome as long as there is substance far and in between I assume he is commenting on my profile where I say I am fun-loving. Hey! That sounds like he is trying to say I might not have any substance. If he could only see me rip him to shreds on my blog...substance I have...scruples not so much!

hope your having a good morning Not after that comment asshole!

I'm M from C,. I graduated from Oneonta and have been at C for 5 1/2 years doing Tech Support, Fixing and configuring Networks. Good for you. Would you like a medal or a chest to pin it on?

I also work with Marketing and Sales job Really? I don't believe it!

On my free time I enjoy shooting pool, getting a drink once in a blue moon with some friends. Watch a Giants ball game. i like to try and eat healthy but indulge like any normal american. That was random.
i enjoy the gym as well, snowboarding, camping times a million, hiking, boating and fishing, every once in a while ill drink, not so often. i dont mind smokers but i dont smoke cigs. You mentioned the drinking twice...methinks the gentleman doth protest too much. Oh,and camping times a million? Why not camping times infinity? (I know you are but what am I?)

i love the giants again did i already mention this. Unfortunately, yes.

i love to play pool, roller blade, and shoot hoops in the spring. Again with the pool playing. Repetition man. You can shoot hoops in the other seasons too you know...
i love to keep it real and changing it up. How does one "keep it real"? dont get me wrong i like routine but i love spice in all forms. . Something tells me that doesn't mean he likes a variety of spices like onion, garlic, paprika and curry...ewww! i love a smart woman who has confidence. anyways if you sound like her and care to chat. I am so smart and confident that I don't care to chat with you!

i am not die hard religious but am spiritual. Red Flag! You are non-committal on religion, which usually means you have no set beliefs on anything or you just don't have the balls to say you have faith in something. Either way, that's a red flag for me.

love to work and make people happy and help people grow. And I love puppies and Christmas and long walks in the snow!

Anyways just trying to find the right person for me in my life, thought id start here. Another red flag! (even though it is in yellow!)This tells me he is looking for someone to fit into HIS life and that he doesn't get that it's not one into the other but more of a melding. I enjoy anything once,. I bet! I enjoy people who have their own style of things. I like people who are unique But again, I want to find the right person for me IN MY LIFE, so leave your uniqueness and style at the door ladies!

Talk to you soon i hope. No Thanks!

M"

Don't forget to weigh in on the Hungryhat dilemma!!

Match.com and Marketing 101

2011-01-21T14:00:00.001-05:00

My posts of late poke fun and can seem mean-spirited but it's targeting the collective stupidity of those of us who are searching for love in the digital age, not the individuals themselves. My aim is to show that an alarming amount of men (from the female perspective of course), do not understand how to use the tools available to them, especially the internet, to find love.

Let's be honest. Marketing yourself is best utilized by those who are confident in themselves and savvy enough to understand how others will perceive their "collateral". Taking pride in how you present yourself on match.com is as important as how you present yourself on Linked In. As a job seeker and young professional with a marketing background, I find these two things surprisingly linked.

I am a self-proclaimed "people watcher". Perhaps that's why I had all the courses I needed for a double Major in Cultural Anthropology in college and didn't realize it!(Yes, I did end up with 2 majors) I loved my Anthro classes and found them incredibly insightful to human behavior and perceptions. Due to my experiences thus far with match, my background in marketing and love of anthropology I have made a TOP 5 TIPS for presenting yourself in public: online or in person, on dating sites or job searches and networking media.

CC's TOP 5 TIPS FOR MARKETING YOURSELF

(for any occasion)

Put your best foot forward. Be positive, be honest and be on your best behavior. Clean up, dress up and be ready to impress.
Represent yourself in print as you would in person. Clean. Concise. Intelligent. Spell check. Proof read. Edit. Repeat. That goes double for pictures Guys. Keep your shirt on, smile and use a relevant, flattering, recent photo. Not having a photo makes us suspicious.
Slang, cursing, and telling negative stories about previous dates/bosses/jobs is not acceptable. Leave your baggage at home! On a date: go easy on the drinks, 2 maximum!
Do your homework. Read about your potential date/job/company. Have conversation ideas and questions in mind to become engaged. Be Prepared.
Know your product and know your audience! Picture your ideal date/job. If you expect the best, you should also assume THEY expect the best. How do you measure up to your standards of others? Are your expectations realistic?

In my opinion, #5 is the cornerstone of personal growth and is a difficult question for everyone to answer honestly to themselves. The key is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and being honest about both. Love, job hunting and networking require risk taking. It's gonna get messy. Love is a battlefield my friends, and sometimes I feel like Attila the Hun.

Screen Names that Leave an Impression and More!

2011-01-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

There certainly isn't a shortage of bad screen names on match. You may think you've heard these before, but trust me, they're all new.

Imreadytoroll123: "Roll, roll roll in ze hay!" (name that movie gentle readers!)

OneWomanManPeter: I think I understand what he was TRYING to say...

PETERSTICK: Really? (and all in caps) What is he implying? or overcompensating for?

Deinonychus1: HUH? Dine on my chest? Dein is mein? Anyone?

floppytomcat: He's lazy and he will only stay a while.

The exception to the stupidity:

OneBigNiceGuy: This guy is big, and he had a nice big smile. He was willing to put it out there and not hide it. I hope he finds a good girl.

Here is a Tagline from a profile that caught my eye (like a fishhook):

LOOKIN FOR MISS RITE NOT MISS RITE NOW Is Miss Rite any relation to Miss Rite Aide? Perhaps he really is looking for a priestess who is most ceremonial in her life and loves to burn incense?

"chris_is_active" sent me a message:
"you been to england that is pretty cool." - Yea. I been to england it was pretty cool, yo...I mean, Yes. I have been to England.

"looking" winked at me. This is his first impression profile intro:
"Talk to me!! You ask me what you want to know. Why should tell you what I think you want to know? Ask...I will answer your questions." Obviously a master communicator. OK, I have a question: Why don't you grow some BALLS, be a man and write to a woman instead of "Winking" at her? Making her do all the work sets a precident and in the future, you will be bitching that she bosses you around. Who's fault is that I wonder?

Updates: I have two second dates this weekend. One for a movie and one for a museum. In all seriousness, there are some good guys still out there and they seem to be going through the same things as we do.

Fun with Profiles & Pics: Part 2

2011-01-17T16:32:00.015-05:00

Well, here it is. The second and final part of 'Fun with Profiles & Pics'. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed putting it together for you!

More of the same, although these are a different format because they are guys who viewed my profile. This way you get to see a bit of their initial overview. Let's get the old ones out of the way first. (Click on them to make them larger and easier to read.They should pop up in a separate window)

What on earth is a 71 year old doing looking at a 35 year old??? Yea, I know what you want old man and if it's not a heart attack, you better skew your search a bit OLDER.

This guy winked at me too. 20 years is a big difference AND in his profile under 'for fun' he actually listed SEX. OK, besides the ewww, that doesn't sound like he is looking for a meaningful relationship. Grow up!

Besides looking like that serial killer on the last episode of Criminal Minds, he has no grasp of the English language. What is a minture picture? Maybe he meant a miniature pinscher? Also reminds me a bit of the Planet Fitness ad with the muscle head who can only say "I lift things up and put them down".

"Like I said, I don't judge people. Unless they are into violence or real stupidity. As opposed to fake stupidity. Ya know? I also like to dissect bunnies and cats for fun...see??"

His favorite pick up lines: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." and "Life isn't that short, but it's getting shorter" Um...yea.

Mr. Apostrophe here can't seem to get a grasp of the possessive. Maybe the right one for him is an elementary reading teacher!

These two monsters marked me as a FAVORITE on their accounts. It tells me this. They have never contacted me, but they have been listed as marking me a favorite of theirs for 2 months now. Creepy...

Thank GOD he's SINGLE! Actually I have heard stories of married or involved guys on match, but you can tell who is genuine and who is not most of the time. He's a lefty and he once won a Costume contest when he dressed up as Frankenstein! but seriously, this guy might not be so bad if his profile and pic weren't so creepy. It's in the eyes. I just couldn't subject you to that...

A mountain man who enjoys hanging out in his camp shirtless makin' meth. He's lookin' for some change and wants a woman, but doesn't want anything serious. He likes adventure ladies, so pack up the Comet and the Liquid Drano and head on over. Papa's got a brand new batch!

More crazy screen names and messages up tomorrow around 10am and my advice for marketing yourself in the digital age posting at 2pm tomorrow, so take your coffee breaks accordingly!

Fun with Profiles & Pics: Part 1

2011-01-17T16:07:00.014-05:00

Today I thought it would be fun to give you a glimpse into the world of Match as I see it...well mostly. I have taken out where they live and part of their screen names as well as sometimes blotting out their eyes. Most of these guys might actually get a date if they put a little effort into their profile and pic. Many are not that bad and would look better if they took some pride in their appearance (as they are so insistent about with the ladies). How can you care about a woman if you don't care about yourself? Come on Guys! Step it up!

This gives you an idea of the average guy on match, in my area anyway. Yea, I said it...AVERAGE. I am partial to 'davetime'. Can you find him? I think he picked man seeking woman by mistake.

These profiles I had to separate out because they really needed one on one time:

80Whe's Internal dialog: "OK. I want to look sexy so I will take my shirt off and focus my attention on the cockroach in the shower so it looks like I am giving it 'the eye'...Yea. Look how sexy I am."

His profile should read:

Likes: Cheap beer, long walks in the trailer park and homemade meth.

Please...I don't want to see any more results like this!

Zijo's Internal Dialog: "Um, gosh. These newfangled computers and website cameras are tricky! How am I supposed to take a picture of myself AND look into the camera?"

His profile should read:
Likes: Cheap beer, eatin', heavy metal music, smokin' weed, eatin', wakin' n' bakin' then takin' my profile pic for match.

Tazdevil's Internal Dialog: "Chicks love cigars...Once I light this one I'm gonna ask the DJ to play my signature song 'I Wear My Sunglasses at Night'. A cigar AND sunglasses... I am toooo cool"

BuckSnort's Internal Dialog: "Now let's see...What should my screen name be? My name and birthday? Nah. that's too obvious. Hmmm....Wait!~ I GOT IT!!!! That's PERFECT!"

Next up: Part Two.

After Christmas Match Mash-Up

2011-01-08T12:14:00.008-05:00

Over the holidays I had begun compiling a group of blog-worthy match.com emails, profiles and names. Here is that compilation (with commentary of course)for your reading enjoyment!

new_england10
"If your a friendly, pleasant, effectionate, honest and faithful woman then id like to meet you for a serious relationship." Effectionate...what does THAT mean?

favorite things:
"I like kid rock and some alternative. I like reality shows like survivor, big brother. cops, americas most wanted, deadliest catch, ufc." Kid Rock and Some Alternative? And a UFC (Ultimate fighting fan?) That means lots of testosterone and no substance.

his message to me Dec 22nd:
Hi,what are you looking for?
Great Email. Way to open up the lines of communication new_england10! Let me respond here since I didn't respond to him.

Hi My name is CC, I am looking for a job.
................, I am looking for a snack food that is delicious AND nutritious
................, I am looking for an affordable apartment with charm and nice neighbors.
The possible answers to that question are abundant, various and somewhat dangerous. I will stop there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Rus60
"A very social non-A type guy. That wants to meet some who brings something new to the table. A lady that is open to enjoying life. This means maybe trying some new things. A love of other cultures defn says a lot about a lady. You've gotta love to travel, who doesnt wanna get out of dodge once in a while. Intelligence of course is important, but dont be intimidated. One can be intelligent in various ways. Dont wanna spill it out here, drop me a line, ciao." What DOES a love of other cultures really say about a lady? Intimidated by HIS intelligence? Yeah, sure...right!

In my own words
for fun:
I love travel and experiencing other cultures. (like the Indian Casino?)

my job:
Ortho ? -chromatic? -dontist? -dox? Hopefully he is Orthograde!
my ethnicity:
I love learning about my slavic ethncity. I bet you would love learning about your Slavic Ethnicity as well.

favorite hot spots:
I think a hot spot can be whatever you make it. So anyplace in the company of good friends 1 point to Slytherin for a decent, but canned, typical answer. Are you copying off someone else's profile Rus60?

favorite things:
Getting lost in a city ive never been before, and finding a small pub or restaurant. Another canned response. Has he ever gotten lost in a city you have never been in before? It's not always a romantic comedy movie moment. I know. I have actually done it.

last read:
Hmmm, youll have to ask i read alot. Ooh! How mysterious! Looking at the content and accuracy of your grammar I would make a guess that you read either a Chinese menu a few times a week or one of the local newspapers.
------------------------------------------------------------

Chivalrous83 emails:

he said
December 12

good morning

Cardiff!! :)

D

you said
December 12

RE: good morning

You are a man of few words... Good morning to you too!

C

he said
December 13
RE: good morning

C

Three questions then

D
HUH? Confused. I played his little game once just to be an ass. It's funny that he is the one who contacted me, and then he was so cagey. I never responded back, because he was obviously NOT Chivalrous. I wonder how many girls have put up with that crap because he was attractive? Looks aren't everything: Exhibit A!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moose wrote

hey
i like alot about you. Aww, Thanks! I like a lot about me too!
--------------------------------------------------------------------

TheDeal71
Profile Tagline:
If that's what it is, it is what it is. And if you are what you are, then you are what you are...I think?
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Hungryhat is at it again

hi
How are you CC ?? I am hoping that it being a new year and all ........... my luck will change and I will get a response from you. (Cue crickets chirping)
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Memorable Screen Names:

atheistandhonest - Thanks. And see ya!

Maddogmat - Um. Down boy.

outdoorgenious - Outdoor savvy maybe, but not a spelling genius apparently!

nywild3 - More like a wild hog

medic4u40 - Just in case I need mouth to mouth?

fyrehrt - He means Fire Heart...but my sense of humor reads it as FAAARRT!!

slave2genetics - Unfortunately you are. If you would stop inbreeding things might get better.

fredhot20 - I liked this name. He wasn't hot, but he was creative!

I think I am looking for guys to rank on as much as I am looking for guys to date. Lucky for you, there is plenty of fodder from match.com to post! Truth is stranger than fiction for sure.

Seriously though, I had another date last week and he was really nice. A bit short, but great personality and attractive. We are having a second date sometime this next week. I also have two others that I am going to meet in the next week.

Another WTF Moment

2010-12-31T14:00:00.002-05:00

Last night I was excited to hang out with a dear old friend from High School and her husband at a local bar. We sat down, grabbed some drinks and the conversation flowed and we were enjoying catching up and joking around. Then I made the mistake of smiling back at a guy at the bar, or perhaps he was a garden gnome, but we will figure that out later. At this point I am a local, I know most everyone in the bar, and we have a few laughs whenever I come out with friends. This guy was new, and barely 5 feet tall I suspect, and unfortunately he had his sights set on me.

He approached our table and asked if we were interested in shots, we all sort of blankly looked at him and said "sure?". He introduced himself and he was "in" or so he thought. He brought shots over and told us that he bar tends there but he was off that night. I had heard there was a new bartender but he had never been working when I was there. We humored him, had a shot and a beer with him and he kept hanging around and telling us all sorts of personal information and asking me all sorts of questions "Do you live here?" "Do you have Children" and my personal favorite "Why are you still single?" to which I should have lied and said I wasn't single, but I am too honest. Later I would have wanted to answer "because there are only little assholes like you out there to choose from" but let's not get the cart before the horse.

He says he has a 4 year old son and that the boy is visiting his mother in Texas for the holiday and then proceeds to call her every dirty, disgusting word you can call a woman. I retorted to the group "Well, that is an attractive quality, speaking about your son's mother that way". He didn't get it. Any guy who uses the "C" and "Tw" words within 15 minutes of meeting someone is definitely a classless slob. Then he proceeds to tell me he is just looking for a nice girl and he used to be a yacht captain and just bought a snowmobile. Wow. I am riveted and so impressed. NOT. Then he says "Hey, you never know, maybe we will be buying a house together" I just laughed and rolled my eyes and said to my friend "Well, isn't he optimistic and forward".

He keeps on and I am obviously uninterested so I keep chatting with my friend and her hubby, but he never gets the hint. Finally, I lean across the table and say to him "I have to be honest..." and his face gets very serious and I say "I am actually more interested in finding a job right now than dating anyone". I was trying to be as nice as I could, but apparently I let the cat out of the bag because all of a sudden he tells me has a fledgling company he wants to start and he could give me a job. I asked what the company was and what kind of job would he have for me, and I could tell that he was going to assume that I would want an admin position, so I told him I was in marketing. He said he needs sales people. I explained to him that I am not in Sales, I am in the creative end of marketing and promotion, and then it began. He jumped in and cut me off, wouldn't let me finish and proceeded to try and lecture me about my job searching techniques. I tried telling him I didn't want to get into it and he kept on. My friend kept telling him to chill out and step back, but he kept pushing. I actually left and went to talk to some other people thinking he might leave and when I came back he was still there!

He told me (in a very condescending way) that he has a degree from some college somewhere in Illinois and he had a double major in marketing. So I said "Um, OK. So if you have a double major in marketing what are you doing working as a bartender in Dtown?" He became more argumentative (which is hard to believe after the shit that he was giving me. He kept talking and cutting me off and finally I said "OK, this needs to stop. I am out with my friends trying to have a little fun and good conversation after sending out another bunch of resumes today and this is the last thing I need coming from someone I just met" to which he responded "How's that working out for you?".

I shot him back a look and then he said "Are you a fucking retard?". So I responded "Excuse me? You don't know me, and you don't know my situation and you have no right to lecture me about my career and job hunting. Oh and good luck finding a nice girl!" Then my friend jumped in an ripped him a new one and held me back because I was actually going to punch this little fucker.

He finally left our table. It almost ruined my night. I could not believe the nerve of this guy. What a psycho. From buying me a drink to talking about buying a house to calling me a retard in 1 1/2 hours. Impressive. About 30 minutes later her tries to come back and be nice "I'm really sorry, can we be friends?" and I just ignored him. He approached both my friend and her husband separately a bit later and they both told him to just drop it and leave me alone. I have never been spoken to like that, and I have never seen someone be so aggressive and rude as he was. Who does he think he is?

My friend Justin asked how my night out was last night and after I told him the story I said I can't go back there because I may actually punch the angry garden gnome, so I need to wait a bit. He said he was sorry he couldn't make it because he would've "had my back". It's probably best he wasn't there because that could have gotten messy, but it was nice to hear. I had told a few other friends who frequent there (and spend a lot of money) and I am sure it will get back to this guy, so it will be interesting to see where this goes. I might have to have a chat with the owners of the bar and let them know what kind of trash they are employing there. I know they will be mad that someone treated me that way because they are friends with my parents and we (and my friends) are great customers of their establishement.

I had to write this out and share because I am soooo angry about this still and thought perhaps writing it would give me some peace. I have never gotten in a fight or punched anyone, but if I could, it would be this little ugly garden gnome. Who knows, maybe I will get my chance...

Happy New Year Everyone! May 2011 bring health, happiness and prosperity to you all...and attitude adjustments to angry garden gnomes everywhere!

Disturbing the Peace: Assault on a Beloved Tradition

2010-12-21T10:57:00.005-05:00

I am taking this break from the match.com experiment to comment on something I find quite disturbing. I have noticed assaults on traditions of all kinds during the past few years, but this Christmas season I have been appalled by the attacks made on a favorite jolly old man.

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal by Brian Campbell entitled "Time for Santa 2.0" in the weekend edition (dec 18-19, 2010) that infuriated me. If this was the author's effort to be sarcastically humorous, it was completely lost on me. If you would like to read the full article the only way to do without subscribing is to do a Google search for Brian Campbell Time for Santa 2.0 and click the first or second listing you get.

Mr. Campbell proceeds to give examples why Santa needs a reboot because "Mr. Claus is fat, uncool and technologically backward". His pompous and materialistic view on a traditional character that has brought joy to so many is exactly what is wrong with society at large today. Mr. Campbell clearly misses the point of Santa Claus and the traditions he represents. We have slowly seen this "de-volution" through marketers and retailers for many years in an effort to cash in on Santa, and it has now come to this:

"A new Santa Clause is what we need -A progressive well-versed in our very modern age: one who runs triathlons and talks about them on Twitter; who sets trends in fashion and social responsibility; who is deemed worthy by our Omnipotent teenage toddlers; who updates his operation to be more efficient, technology-driven and global; and who is as sophisticated as the American Consumer.

We have soared to new heights. We are better than those who came before us. Santa Claus must follow suit"

How obnoxious. Every generation soars to new heights, we hope. I don't subscribe to the idea that the American consumer is sophisticated. Having worked in marketing and retail, most are slaves to slick advertising and marketing ploys. This ethnocentric view of "we are better than those before us" will surely spell our ruin as a society. I believe all societies and generations are relevant and their contributions, positive or negative, are important. We should never diminish or forget since they were the foundation we have built upon. I believe this attitude also spills into the degradation of respect for elders and their knowledge and experiences, but I digress.

Santa, Mr. Campbell, is a symbol and is not to be taken literally. Santa is not about gifts, he's about generosity. Santa is not about a fat man, he's about happiness and contentment. Santa is not about technology or the lack thereof, he is about simplicity and the enjoyment of those simple things. Continuing the tradition of Santa Claus teaches children the importance of simplicity and kindness, something they don't seem to grasp from our culture today.

Perhaps everyone needs to step back from their technology-driven, emotionless, materialistic, self-indulging lives and focus on their families, helping others if they are able, and basking in the simple joys of winter and the holiday season. Try sledding down a hill or ice skating instead of pretending to do so on your PS3 in your living room. Have intelligent and entertaining conversation at the family dinner table without cell phones and text messaging to interrupt human interaction. Stop overspending on gifts and save some money or donate to a charity.

Santa is a classic. He is perfect the way he is, with his rosy cheeks, jiggling belly and hearty laugh. Whether you celebrate the traditions of the birth of Jesus Christ or not at this time of year, Santa Claus is a secular reminder of happiness, peace on earth and goodwill towards one another.

Match vs. Real Life = Bizarro Tie

2010-12-16T10:18:00.005-05:00

In Match-world:

Hungryhat must have annoyed his soon-to-be ex-wife to death. Got a 4th message this morning. I have never responded to ANY of his messages.

":)
Good Morning Ms Dville :) How are you today ?? Is there enough snow for you ??"

Should I nip this in the bud or see if this guy will write a 5th time? In the spirit of blogging, let's see if this douchebag will write another time and take bets on how many smiley faces and punctuation marks he will use.

In the meantime, here are a few more great screen names to ponder:

Imreadytoroll123 I best you are...

krisnutsak Wow, nutsak, are you friends with PhilMcrackin?

I'm surprised no one has used Boogerface, Dillweed or Douchebag as screen names yet.

In Real Life:

I asked a guy friend who I hadn't seen in a few weeks to go to the movies with me last night, basically because he was the only one in town that was able to go. We have known each other since High School. Even though I asked him to come along, he drove and he paid for my ticket and I was sort of annoyed by that, because I feel like my friends are always paying for me because I am unemployed. Well, apparently this friend was paying because he was about to put the moves on me. Yep. He kept grabbing my knee when he wanted to comment about the movie and then he put his arm around me...I sat up immediately and looked at him like "WTF?" and he kept it there. So I said "That's really uncomfortable" and picked his arm back up and pushed it towards him. Hey, maybe I was rude, but in my experience you need to be blunt because otherwise they don't understand. All this, in the middle of the movie that I WANTED TO SEE. I HATE being distracted in the movie theater.

The ride back home was a bit weird, but I kept talking about random stuff to not have to deal with any uncomfortable silences. He had bought a Christmas present for me which seemed strange, but makes sense now. Last winter we went to breakfast and I had a new grey hat which I ended up forgetting at the diner and losing. He remembered this (I did not) and looked everywhere for a grey hat to replace it. It's a great hat, but it weirded me out that he was so thoughtful because it just makes it more uncomfortable because I have never and will never think of him that way. I gave him a jar of the family spaghetti sauce because I felt I needed to give him a gift as well. It was a bizarre night.

What's a girl to do? Friends have described me as intimidating but apparently I am also giving out the wrong signals? I knew I was a paradox, but this is ridiculous. Match is obnoxious, my real life is wonky and I am still unemployed. I must be more resilient than I thought because most would be clinically depressed under all this emotional stress.

Annoyingly Persistent

2010-12-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Hungryhat is annoyingly persistent and is currently separated with 3 kids and seems to have some issues to work through...including misspelling the name of one of my favorite musicians... That's 4 strikes, he was out at 3.

Main Profile Blurb:
"I am a new person just out of the box and I am looking for someone that will let me be who I am. I lost touch with who I was over the years and that made me a very unhappy person. Now that I have gotten myself back, I really want to keep it that way. I absolutely love to laugh and have fun and make sure those around me are having fun too. I am extremely affectionate and love to show it. I have a very big heart and I need to feel wanted, appreciated and loved." OK, so he is not divorced yet, has 3 kids and apparently as many issues to go along with that. This reads a bit like a wish list letter to his therapist. Yikes!

favorite hot spots:
"Adirondacks, NYC, Like to get away to small quaint places for a weekend, like a bed and breakfast in Vermont :)" That sounds like a canned response to reel in the ladies. Yawn! I bet he thinks there are only B&B's in Vermont. I wonder how quaint a getaway with his 3 kids would be...

last read:
"Ghost Rider ........ By Niel Piert"
Um hello! This is a prolific percussionist and if he actually read his book he would know his name is NEIL PEART.

If I have said this a thousand times, I say it again: This is you marketing yourself to people. Use spell check, do a little editing, look it up! Quality in, quality out!

So here are his creepy little emails that he keeps sending and I keep ignoring:

December 05

"Hi
:) your smile made me smile ........................"

That's weird, my profile tag line is "Smiles are contagious!". He's a creative one!

December 07

":)
Hello Ms CC ................... how are on this fine nasty yet beautiful morning ? Are you staying warm ?
:)"
"Fine nasty yet beautiful"? He is more conflicted than I thought, and I don't like the word nasty...it's nasty.

December 11

":)
Good morning CC ......................

Your dimples are adorable !! How are you and how is everything in big town of D this morning ? :)

j"

OMG!!!! What is it with this guy? ..................... :) He is skipping words and using lots of unnecessary punctuation and annoying smiley faces.

And why is everyone dissing my town? It's like when you are mad at your brother and you bitch about him and then that person says "Yea, he's always been an asshole". You just want to bludgeon that person for saying something mean about your brother. Only I have never said a bad thing about my town on match, so the comments about being able to compete with the guys here or the size of the town or that it must be quiet and boring here are really starting to annoy me.

They have probably heard about that technique that guys use to deflect or dis a girl and then she will instinctively be interested because you picked on her for something. Usually it's slightly different and in a group of people where the guy will pay more attention to your friends to get you to notice him. I think it all goes back to the "playground theory" where if a boy picked on you he liked you. We are not in elementary school anymore guys, man up!

Really Bad Match Screen Names

2010-12-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

Remember "hotpiglove"? That was probably the worst screen name I have seen so far but here are some more from in my list of really bad screen names I have found on match.com:

"Trojan518" - Does that mean there is a surprise inside that is NOT GOOD?

"4hrsmn" - I'm confused

"PhoneJackSam" - He either works for a phone company or he really likes wall fixtures

"Goforitromance" - Yea! You go for it romance!

"Doorman14" - Maybe he is polite? Hopefully he didn't misspell "Doormat14"

"Dicker911" - If there's an emergency with that, that's your problem!

"Grousehound44" - Hunting humor? FYI, lost of most chicks.

"Vanloan79" - Has he had a loan on his creepy van since 1979?

"BedlamStun" - Again, I am confused

"hungryhat" - huh?

"InjinCowboy" - This guy is actually a really hot Indian...we've emailed but I was worried I can't do my indian voice and talk about dots if we met and dated!

"mayor_mccheeze" - haha. weird.

"PhilMaCrackIn007" - Seriously? Really? and 007? Very stealthy. You are a fucking idiot!

"HOTSTUFF1970" - For the full effect, I present the picture that was attached to the screen name:

Dumb names remind me of this dumb ass who sent me messages this week. Just some background: if someone writes to me or winks I check out their profile, regardless, and you should be happy because that's where I end up getting all this great fodder. People know who has looked at them, and I know who has looked at me, even if they don't attempt contact. That said I got this message:

December 09:
"hi my name is r, your profile is very nice a...
hi my name is r, your profile is very nice and interesting.I enjoy life, try to travel as much as possible,though i havent for a few months.i think we may have a few things in common. maybe you can write back,bye"

I looked at his profile, briefly, but just to see who it was. I mean, he wrote to me, I should check out his profile to see if I am interested in writing back, right? Well, this guy must be slower than he looks, because I received a second message the next day. I only looked at his profile because he wrote to me. Did I contact him? No. Obviously I was not interested in his profile enough to email him, but this tard doesn't get it:

December 10th:
"hi there again, i think you viewed my profile,I...
hi there again, i think you viewed my profile,I bet your getting tons of e mails from other guys,but just write back sometime maybe we can chat and see how it goes."

God help me...

Match Date #1

2010-12-10T09:53:00.003-05:00

Has the suspense been killing you? Well, I will make this short, because the date was long-winded.

Matt: He was nice and a complete gentleman. We met at a local sit-down Chinese restaurant that was very good, by the way. When we met he was very stiff and shook my hand, which was fine, maybe he was nervous. I had talked myself out of being nervous at all before the date, because my intuition was making me more relaxed.

Anywho, we sat down and began talking immediately. I have to tell you that his emails were quite long, but I tend to write a bit too (as you know). When we spoke on the phone to plan the date he was long winded and was nervous and trying to impress with big words etc. I enjoy big words, but in moderation. I don't want to feel like I am being lectured by a Professor when I am having a discussion, but that is what this guy was like. He was trying to be sooo polite that he seemed robotic and then if I got him laughing he would come out with this "Gay Man Voice" which was disturbing. I can't describe it, I felt like I wished I had a girl friend I could fix him up with. That spells DATE OVER.

Dinner was 2 hours and 45 minutes. Did I mention he talked a lot? He wouldn't split the bill, which was nice but unnecessary. My fortune cookies sucked, which also can't be good!

Here are the reasons I had to turn him down when he texted me the next day for another date:

Long winded, wordy and professor-like, I felt like I was on a date with an old co-worker of mine...not cool.
Too stiff, he seemed to calm further into the date but was still tightly wound, but maybe that is because he was a probation officer, they can't let their guard down so that stern attitude becomes them?
He used a "Gay Man Voice" when trying to joke around...I don't get it.
He said he hates Pee-Wee Herman and always wanted to "punch him"...Well, I hate to break it to him but if he didn't "get" Pee-Wee humor, he won't get CC humor either!
His hands were abnormally small. Sorry, that creeped me out a little.

He was attractive, but there was no spark. I think the conversational skills really ruined it for me.

I did share with him my movie blog, and he made a few comments. When I read them later, they annoyed me. The way he writes is tough to read because he is so wordy and pretentious about his views, again like he is teaching you through his superior opinion. Here are the annoying comments: Comment 1 (I didn't need a rehash of the plot, and if I felt my readers did I would have done that already and way too wordy to keep my attention) and Comment 2 (obviously he just wanted to re-iterate what I had said in his own verbose way). I hope that when you read my words, I am more intelligently opinionated, than forcefully lecturing. You would let me know, right???

Well, as for first dates it was good enough to get me started with Match. I have another guy that I am trying to set a date for. Maybe tomorrow if we can sync out schedules, so I will keep you posted.

Also keep an eye out next week for "Match's All-Time BEST Screen Names!", I hope you will be sitting down for that post!
Have a great weekend!

Deja Vu and Creepy Shit

2010-12-05T10:32:00.005-05:00

So I thought perhaps this guy had forgotten that he had written to me already, but here is the evidence. He looks much older than his age and seems very rigid and boring to me. His picture is a forced pose at his kitchen table with an empty glass of wine in front of him. The caption should say: "I just got home from a day at the office and as a sophisticated male, I like to have a glass of wine to unwind".

Apparently ignoring doesn't give the hint that you are not interested, you actually have to tell them you are not interested. I keep forgetting that guys never "get" hints, they understand the direct approach more often than not.

he said November 29

"Hey,
I read your profile and like what you had to say there. So I thought I'd e-mail to introduce myself, my name is Pete. I'm looking forward to getting to know more about you. Hope to hear from you soon!
P"

he said Yesterday RE: Subject

"Hey,
I'm looking forward to getting to know more about you. Hope to hear from you soon!
P"

So OK, it looks as if he's really trying. I wrote the first part of this post this morning BUT THEN I get home today and there are two MORE messages from him and these are kinda wacked. Here is the first message:

" Ok, so I HAVE to aske this question. HOW on earth can such and attractive women, like you, be single. I'm sure the pickings in [your town] are slim but being in sales you must meet alot of people.

Did you grow up there???

P"

Here is the second message which he sent moments after he sent the last message. Maybe he was into the wine as he wrote:

"Oh yeah, and what's up with taggin me as a "no connection", LOL! COME ON, you have to at least learn a bit abot me before you shoot me down.

Ok, TAG, you're it!

P"

Firstly, telling me I am attractive is not going to get me to all of a sudden be interested. Secondly, I have never responded to or emailed this guy so "what's up" with him asking me "what's up"? Thirdly, I am NOT playing games by saying there is no connection, so no, I am not TAGGED and I am not IT!

I feel like writing this guy back but I am afraid I will be too much of a bitch, so I have to refrain. He's a little too pushy for my taste. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Advice?

On a positive note I spoke with Matt on the phone tonight and we are having dinner tomorrow night. We have been emailing for two weeks and are finally meeting. He sounds really nice and we definitely don't have issues with uncomfortable silences since we get talking about movies. I just hope there is that spark/attraction there, or the possibility anyway. So wish me luck:)

Stalker Alert! (sort of)

2010-12-03T12:11:00.007-05:00

So this guy has winked at me twice and sent me a message already...I think you will remember Rich.

He lists himself as "currently separated" but says he is divorced in this section. I have taken the liberty to highlight SOME of the spelling mistakes I found, and realized there is too much wrong with this so I didn't bother with punctuation and sentence structure. I wish I could get paid for proofreading for these dumb asses!:

"well im 31 divorced just want to enjoy life. I like to have fun cause some mischif:) be myself and to find someone who just wants to hangout at home or go out and hang out weather its to a movie or other things im not a picky person im opened minded to try anything i would like to find someone who is not looking for something serious right now but maybe in the future basicly i would like a casual relationship. I dont have pics on this but im 6 foot 5 about 250 italin average build. So if this is something u r interested in give me a shout we and we will see what happens, u never know if u dont go out on a limb and just say the hell with it sometimes thats the best thing to do..well i hope to talk to u soon:)"

He winked at me and sent me another message this morning:

"hello
hi my name is rich i would like to talk to u:)"

You would think if I have ignored you to this point, attempting to contact me again would be sort of...well, weird. This guy obviously isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

I sent one of the generic choose from these things to say "not interested" replies, in hopes that he takes better to the direct approach.

Until the next time, and the next slob...

The Silver Lining?

2010-12-02T09:51:00.002-05:00

I have to say, after sifting through all of the creepy, fat, obnoxious, hillbilly, uneducated stud muffins on match I have found a few that seem relatively normal and nice. It's obvious that the odds are against me here, especially in this geographic area, but I am hoping there is a guy on there that is just like me: a cool person looking for a decent date.

I am emailing 3 people right now, and have a date with one Monday night. Just a little "we've been emailing for two weeks, so let's meet for coffee" type of thing. I am hoping it goes well, as his emails have been so great and we seem to have quite a bit in common.

I have had a few funny ones that wink at me, I wink back and then I never hear from them. I thought I was giving them the signal that if they emailed me I would respond. I guess I could have emailed instead of winked, but they started it...wait, is that me playing games? LOL I guess it doesn't matter who does the contacting. Maybe I will be forward and email them. Oh well, who cares, right?

I am not on match.com because I can't generate interest in my real life. I can count 10 guys who are interested right now, but probably 8 of them are only interested in one thing, hence my single status. I'm flattered boys (slightly) but I'm not looking for a fling or a hookup, I have never been that kind of girl. I am not looking for a boy I can control or a guy who controls me. What am I looking for? A connection that isn't purely physical chemistry, that has depth and interest beyond the immaturity I am used to. Maybe I am deluding myself. Maybe "he" doesn't exist.

Is it wrong to want a gentleman who enjoys watching Pee-Wee's playhouse and laughing hysterically after a great day of hiking, topped off with a huge steak dinner?

I think the glass is still half full. He's out there...I just hope he's also attractive!

It's the BIG One! I am Going Straight to Hell

2010-12-01T09:17:00.008-05:00

Look, I know I had tentitive reservations in Hell, but I think this post solidifies that I have secured a permanant table. I just couldn't resist this! And don't tell me that you wouldn't have reacted the same way. Here's the play by play: starting with the message he sent me and then followed by his profile...and yes, I am going to hell because without the picture, it's just not the same, so there is a picture. My comments will be in red throughout. Highlights of his words will be in yellow.Pray for me...

"Hockey fan needs a woman who is good in the corners,crashes the net,and
isn't afraid to drop the gloves when he challenges her"
"Howdy!
Good evening, ma'am. I hope this finds you well.

Have you always lived upstate? If not, then where else?

Tell me more about your job. What do you sell?

Play any sports? Any combat sports?

Anyway, I really hope to hear back from you soon. In the meantime, take care and thanks for reading.

--- N"

Remember the cartoon with the little dog who was always like "HuhSpike? Huh? Huh? What do you wanna do Spike? huh? Spike? Huh?" That's what that message reminded me of.

What I am looking for/About my date
Firstly, she has to understand that in my business, I could move around quite a bit. I want to be the best, and that could mean several steps along the way. Furthermore, the steps may contain lifestyles different from what most people have. For example, if I'm working in radio news, then she'll have to deal with me getting up very early and not staying up so late. If I'm working for a hockey team, then she'll have to deal with me being away from home on road trips. So, she has to follow YOUR career, deal with YOUR schedule and wait at home for YOU to come back from road tips etc? Are you sure you are looking for a girlfriend?, 'cause I think a blow up doll might suit your lifestyle better..."

Secondly, she has to be Catholic. My faith is incredibly important to me. If I have a dealbreaker, then it's this. I will want nothing to do with you if won't go to church with me. Gotta say this is actually a nice change. Most guys don't want to go to church at all or want to admit they have a faith.

Thirdly, she has to like sports, especially hockey. This is because I hope it's the center of my ultimate profession. The first girlfriend I had could never get into it. She bought tickets to a game as a Christmas present to me, and she didn't say a word for the first two periods. It's okay if you don't like hockey or any sports for that matter, but if you don't, then you're going to have to tolerate them greatly. Again, it's all about tolerating YOUR schedule and YOUR likes...What did you ever do for her?

We could call this Clause 3A: She can't hate the media. As someone who works in news, I have a great responsibility to the public. I can affect many lives without even meeting them. That's why if I ever do anything in that capacity, then I have to do it right. Unfortunately, many "media professionals" out there give the industry a bad name, especially in television. I guess that's why I'm glad I'm still in radio and not in TV. WTF? You are a sports reporter! The only thing you have a responsibility to is to get the names and scores correct. It's not national security! Oh, and I think we all know why you are still in radio...

Fourthly, family is important to me. I expect her to feel the same way. But if your family has any chance of making it to Jerry Springer's stage, then I'll want nothing to do with you.

Fifthly, no abnormal body modifications. Not only do I not find it attractive, but I think it's disgusting and potentially dangerous. Is he talking piercings and tatoos or boob enhancements and botox? I get it, but those are not abnormal these days.

For fun:
There's a line in "Sister Act 2" where Whoopi Goldberg says, "If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl."

In my case, I can't think of anything except sports, especially hockey.
Referencing "Sister Act 2" out of the hundreds of amazing movies out there? Danger Will Robinson! And if you can't think of anything other than sports, maybe a girlfriend is not in your cards.

My job:
I have two jobs. One is in Albany during the week, and the other is at West Point during the weekends. However, the one at West Point has nothing to do with military service.
So, again, when do you have time for a girlfriend? And Ooh! so mysterious with the West Point job!

My ethnicity:
I am a quarter Ukrainian, a quarter Italian, a quarter German, and a quarter French-Canadian. Now I get it, you're not fat, you're just big boned!

My education:
B. A. in journalism, Ithaca College, 2003 Minor in music as an oboe player It's always funny when large people play small instruments? I know a fat guy who plays piccolo...

Favorite hot spots:
I like traveling. That's one of the perks of working in sports. You get to see parts of the country that you otherwise wouldn't see. While working in Nebraska, I got to see Lambeau Field. While working in Mississippi, I got to see the Rockies. Um, the Rocky mountains are not in Mississippi. They begin in northern Canada and end in New Mexico. I am so glad that as a "media professional" you're not giving the rest of the gang a bad name!

Favorite things:
I'll eat anything. My favorite color is black. When it rains, I wouldn't mind running out there to either play football or roll in the mud. I wear a Stetson, so it's safe to say I love country music. I also like opera and other fine arts.
See why you needed the picture to tell the whole story? PS) Black isn't always the most slimming...

My pets:
My parents have a Balinese cat. A Balinese is a long-haired Siamese. This one believes she owns the house. And she's right.
That's your parent's pet, not yours. Wait there was a pic of him with the cat too. Sounds like someone still lives at home. And he HAS two jobs!!!!

I usually don't write back, but I felt I had to in this instance...

Hi N.

Thanks for your message but I don't think we match very well. I am Catholic, but not practicing at the moment. Also, it seems like you are looking for a girl who doesn't have a career of her own. No offense, but your schedule doesn't seem to account for her schedule/aspirations.

I wish you the best in your search. Stick to your guns on the religion topic...that is important:)

CC

Match.com Message: Looking for a loyal woman‏

2010-11-30T09:00:00.001-05:00

This has got to be the weirdest email I have gotten so far. He saw my profile and emailed instead of winking. Good move however, be careful what you wish for. hahah!

"Hello,

My name is Matt, I am open minded and nonjudgmental - I am looking for a kind hearted woman who has a bit of a bit of a wild streak. I enjoy life and am looking for someone to share it with. I enjoy traveling and would like to do it more..

I have been separated for 4yrs, divorce was started in June.

I enjoy martial arts, chess, going out for dinner, a nice walk in the park, or a hike, a good movie, I like bowling and tennis - but I am terrible at both. I enjoy going for a drive, heading to the casino, a weekend in NYC, or just staying at home every now and then. I love flying (earned my private pilots license). I love amusement parks. This is a big one - I can not go a day without a good cup of coffee...

I work hard own my own business and am not looking to play games with anyone. I am sorry I did not post a photo but I am glad to sen d one, just thinking I do not want my customers or my ex to know my private life.. If you are interested in that photo my email is mgoodrich1 at g mail dot com..

I call when I say I will. I will do what I say, and I am not afraid to cook dinner when needed.

Have a good day
Matt"

I am tempted to write back:

"Thank you for your interest in the position of "My Boyfriend". Your resume was very interesting, especially since you are willing to cook when needed and are looking for a woman with "a bit of a bit of a wild streak". Unfortunately you do not meet the standard requirements and you sound like a robot. Since you did not include a photo, I am unable to keep your resume on file as it was incomplete.

CC"

Just a few things I can't get past and have to comment on:

Red Flag #1: Starting out with "I am open minded and nonjudgmental" means you probably are neither

Red Flag #2: "I am looking for a kind hearted woman who has a bit of a bit of a wild streak." First...proofread that shit! First impressions... Secondly, a wild streak can mean many things, perhaps you phrased that incorrectly.

Red Flag #3: He's "willing to cook when needed" ? Will you also do the laundry when needed? How do you feel about vacuuming and dusting? Doing dishes? How about I email you and ask for that photo of you when needed. BTW, that means it won't happen...ever.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One...

2010-11-27T09:41:00.002-05:00

I have gotta say that now the profiles all just look the same. Every guy says they are "Fun, adventurous and like the outdoors" and also have a good sense of humor. Most of them are tired of headgames and are looking for a "good woman" of some sort which is pretty generic. Most of these guys don't know how to market themselves and I think that is why they are still single.

A majority are not adventurous, outgoing guys because if they were, they would be able to talk to a woman, be it through email or face to face. Maybe men ARE a myth, or at least on the verge of extinction. Stop "winking" and expecting me to do all the heavy lifting. Send me a message. Winking is for wimps. I have seen a few guys that looked interesting and I emailed them (which was forward for me). I didn't hear back from them, but I put myself out there and that is what Match is all about. Rejection sucks for a second, but you move on and keep trying. That's life and if you can't handle it, you can't handle a relationship.

Here's today's lucky profile spotlights:

"An brave Knight in search of the …"
I 'm an educated and a good looking guy. That is in search of my goddess from Central New York. I will rest not until I find that beautiful princess and my quest will be complete.
You say you are educated but start with a huge grammatical mistake…The fact that you are making fairytale references about Knights, goddesses and princesses means you probably are a Dungeons and Dragons nerd who lives in a fantasy world and that is creepy.

Hey Check this out....
I am easy to get a long with. I am single. I would like to meet a few new people and have a few laughs. Sure I would love to meet someone special but, for now just getting to know one or two people out...
So glad he’s single ‘cause this is a DATING site! Seen a couple of these lately. Duh! I HOPE so!

looking for adventure
im hard working mountain man looking for some change in my social life tired of bar singles not ready to settle back down but ready for some adventure always willing to go for a ride just to see thing...
And this guy LOOKS like a mountain man…actually more like a mountain Hermitt!

Match.com: The Hits Keep on Comin'!

2010-11-23T17:09:00.005-05:00

This guy has goals and he wants a girl who's 'In it to win it?'. If he is the prize, I'll pass. Thanks!
Looking for a winner
"Looking for a fun date and maybe more. I am a single professional, who does not think bars and clubs are a nice place to meet people. Not that they are not fun places. Would like to meet someone attractive fun and in it to win it. I am looking forward to it."

I am not even sure if I can explain how uncomfortable this guy's "sense of humor" makes me feel. He's from Little Falls, so that might explain it. So glad he winked at me. Ewww.
Hard to Please
"I'm looking for a woman who hates music, candlelight dinners and walks on the beach in the moonlight. Must be into playing games. I hope you love to be the center of attention, have a voice like gravel and are built like an ottoman.
I don't mind if you don't have an education as long as you have strong, inflexible opinions. Sexually, please either constantly be like a dog in heat or slightly less responsive than a sidewalk.
I asked my friends what I am and they offered the following descriptions:
A man with a passion
An inspiration.
A sensation.
you are you, the only one there ever was or ever will be.
Hopefully you also are you and we can be us."

This guy says he's 6'3" and his body type is "a few extra pounds" I WISH I could post a photo, but I am sure that is verboden. Let's just say he is definitely carrying more than a few extra pounds. I doubt he's able to hike much more than flat paved surface for 10 minutes at a time, but can believe he's in the bar drinking beer more often than not.
And the plot thickens...
Adventurous male looking for adventurous female for adventure. Must like the outdoors and going out. Intelligent male looking for intelligent female for intelligent conversation. Serious personality but can be silly at times. Ideally my female counterpart would need to be willing to try to find the adventure in everyday activities without being a thrill seeker. She would need to be athletic enough to go hiking and outgoing enough to hit the pubs on a Friday after work.

Monday Morning Match Search Results

2010-11-22T11:26:00.002-05:00

I logged on and checked my Match.com account this morning and found some gems to post from my search. Also I noticed a lot of guys are not into "playing games". That's too bad, because I really enjoy a good game of UNO or CLUE!

But seriously, many guys are concerned with lack of communication skills on the part of previous girlfriends/dates. apparently "game playing" is rampant and one guy even said that if you "have a shrine to an ex-, please don't contact me". A shrine to an ex? WEIRD. Run Away! Run Away!!

As promised:

This first one is a large part of his profile, because I felt it was blog worthy all the way through!

Ok here it is simply.... Im 32 yrs old im an Exec Chef at a 5 star resort and a wine bar and bistro.... My last 2 " Relationships " well lets just say hey it was the wrong people...!!! So my freind talk me into this match thing... HERE I AM.... I live in Saratoga Springs NY and Also Denver Colorado … read more »
Lots of !!!! and ... are never good. I am trying to cut back myself. Also, he seems to blame a failed relationship on the fact that they were the wrong people, so he most likely didn't learn anything about himself from those experiences. How immature. BTW, How do you live in Saratoga AND Denver?

What I like to do:I spend alot of my free time when I have with my girl " DOG " I have a great dane and yes she is THAT BIG..... OH AND I DONT HAVE TIME FOR GAMES..."
Big dog...cool. USING ALL CAPS LIKE THAT IS OBNOXIOUS. I guess he really doesn't have time for games.

My hot spots:I traveled to so many different places I don't even know...!! I would have to narrow it down to Italy or Mexico... HEY GUESS WHAT..? I DONT HAVE TIME FOR GAMES....
Again with the ... and Ooh! He's been sooo many places, He must be soooo cool. AND LET ME GUESS: IN CASE WE DIDN'T HEAR IT THE FIRST TIME! HE HAS NO TIME FOR GAMES!!!!...!!!!...!!! Someone has issues.

A few of my favorite things:You're rooted in a dying ocean. All of your silence rang like a storm of bells It's Been to long.Did you get to face the crowd.? Down on your knee's your conscious biting, Disarry, your heart has fallen. And all you were has been forgotten...
Huh? WTF?

Side note on this profile: 20 photos: 11 of them are food he has supposedly prepared, 3 of his dog, and the rest are pics of him that are not fully of him. Pictures of food? Really? Who's playing games now?

"well im very fun to be around and i love to go out and do things i wanna girl who can enjoy life with me with no headgames or lies im not into that kinda stuff i want a girl who will except me for who i am all im asking for is be yourself"
No pic not much information no to the games and apparently he doesn't know how to use capitalization enjoys run-on sentences with no punctuation kinda stuff it's really weird hard to read too

"Beach Fun Jim"
Big Personality in a Tall Slender Package I’m a tall and slender guy, and I live life to the max. I love mingling and chatting away, like a typical woman! I work hard and want to meet a woman for ..." Beach Fun Jim might be tall and slender, but I am not sure. He used the phrase "to the max". Ewww. BTW Beach Fun Jim, if I wanted a man who was like a typical woman, I would be a lesbian. Oh, and what exactly do you mean by "typical" woman?

The Match.com Experiment: Week 1 Review

2010-11-21T10:12:00.003-05:00

My first week is coming to an end on Match.com and I wonder, can it get any worse? Can it get any better? Yesterday I thought perhaps I should throw in the towel. It's depressing! It's horrifying! But mostly it's sad.

Granted, getting a date with a decent guy in Upstate NY has always been akin to an episode of Mission: Impossible. The dating pool is awfully shallow and I am convinced global warming is evaporating it even further. Everyone says I am too picky, maybe that is true, but that is who I am.

I forgot a deal breaker: No Children! Dealing with a divorce is one thing, but dealing with someone else's kids is a non-negotiable for me. I dated a guy a few times in Syracuse who had a 4 year old (against my better judgement). She took precedence (obviously) and it was very difficult to make plans, keep plans and actually get to know the guy. If I had a kid, that would be different, but I don't and I don't want to play second fiddle to his.

Seriously, it hasn't been all bad. I have chatted with a few nice guys. It's definitely not a great score: Decent Guys: 5 Creepy Dudes: 127, but it's not a total loss...yet!

Here are a few more gems:

"Everyone says I look a lot younger than I am" - the dude was 56!!!!

"Single Dad With An Edge
I am a single father whose been out of the dating scene for some time by choice. Would like to meet a nice woman who knows how to treat a man." - Huh, great opener. Can I get you a beer from the fridge honey?

One guy wrote "What do you really want?" as his tag line...once I saw his picture my answer was "Not you!"

"I ask that you please "get it "
I am someone that gets what it takes to be a friend ,lover and companion.....I ask that you are able to do the same. I come from a very solid background ....i ask that you be of similar origins." - yea, the only thing I "Get" is that you have to rely on your 6-pack abs because you have no personality. That is obvious because you just HAD to post a picture of them on your profile. Classy...

"hi there!
I'm afraid that this limited format doesn't allow me the opportunity to share with you all of my varied interests. I guess I would describe myself as a life long learner." - Oh no! A life long learner!? I am so intimidated by his perceived intelligence and breadth of life experiences!

Some guy withe screen name of "HotPigLove" favorited me...what do you think? Should I pursue that one????

Day Two...Match.com Experiment

2010-11-17T19:01:00.003-05:00

Day two held much more of the same. Spooky Vampire Dude, Never-Takes-a-Shower Dude and Psychotic-Looking Dude all contacted me. I wonder if those are the best profile pics they could get of themselves. At least smile! I love the ones who say they love to smile and have a great sense of humor in their profile but all of their pictures look like they are mad or scared. Dating sucks, I get that, but you get more flies with honey than vinegar.

I do have non-negotiable dealbreakers like everyone else, things I cannot look past. I think they are typical and not picky. There are only 5 thing on my list:

Height (I like my guy to be taller than me and I like to wear heels)
Well groomed (but not to the point that it takes him longer than me to get ready)
Cannot be Obese (a few extra pounds is fine, but if you can't go hiking or skiing with me that is not attractive)
Good Communication style (aware and intelligent, but need not be perfect)
Must love animals(but not exotic ones)

I think Patti Stanger of "Millionaire Matchmaker" would be proud.

I am on the other hand trying to be more open minded about reading profiles and not paying so much attention to pictures. Let's be honest, looks are important, but I am not a 10 so why should I expect to date one?

I have found a few guys on there that have great profiles that really piqued my interest when they contacted me. There is even one who didn't have a profile picture who emailed me. His email and profile were great so I emailed him back. That is a HUGE step for me.

No matter what, I think it will be a great learning experience for me and something fun for you all to read!

The Match.com Experiment

2010-11-16T19:06:00.002-05:00

Well, I did it. I signed up for Match.com. I know, I know, I said I would never be desperate enough to try it, and here I am. The guys I meet and am fixed up with lately are so immature and not men. I am sure it is a product of the area, but it is getting frustrating.

Actually what changed my mind was that all I have been hearing from recently engaged or married people is 'We met online!" Be it Match, Perfect Match, EHarmony or JDate, apparently this is where you can sift through the endless profiles and weed out the wackos to find someone decent. So why not? At least I will have some great fodder to breath some life back into this blog.

I was online about an hour tonight surfing through profiles, pics, and ridiculous tag lines when I received my first 4 winks, an IM and an email message.

The IM was first. He was annoyed because my age-range was "too narrow". I am sorry he is 51, but I don't think 30-40 is a narrow range. 16 years is a pretty wide age gap, and he looked like he just got home from a 2 week camping trip where he killed animals with his bare hands. Not my idea of boyfriend material.

The winks were pretty lame. I think one was a midget. I thought I put 5'9" as my height minimum? That may sound picky, but a girl has to wear heels!

I went back to perusing profiles and was appalled at the amount of available bachelors out there. I bet most of you ladies would be amazed that so many men, even the obesely overweight ones, who like to pose with their shirts off for their profile pic. That's definitely gonna get you noticed!

I did find a handful (literally 5 out of 100's) of guys with many of the attributes I am looking for. I chose their profiles based on the fact that they looked fairly normal, meaning no nudity, scary faces, or bad tag lines. They are now on my "favorites" list, whatever that means.

Then it was time to read the email message from "Rich". Check it:

"hello :)
im rich:)how r u i would like to talk to u"

His profile blurb read in part:

"hi im looking for that someone i can grow with n enjoy life for what it is:)
well im 31 divorced just want to enjoy life. I like to have fun cause some mischif:) be myself and to find someone who just wants to hangout at home or go out and hang out weather its to a movie or other things im not a picky person im opened minded to try anything i would like to find someone who is not looking for something serious right now but maybe in the future basicly i…"

I know what you are thinking. CC, How can you ignore such a wonderfully illiterate message? I wonder why he is divorced?

After my first hour of being on Match.com in upstate NY (I know, it's not really Match's fault)I have decided to revamp my profile. Let me know what you think:

Hi, I'm CC. I have a Bachelor's Degree, enjoy museums, movies, music of all types and have a wicked sense of humor. I am looking for a well-read, intelligent man who enjoys being active (that means you're not in danger of cardiac arrest because you took a walk to get the mail at the end of the driveway) who is looking for a partner in life (not just someone to clean your trailer and cook for you).

If you have a profile pic with no shirt on or say you are a fun guy but can't smile in a single picture, don't bother to contact me. If you have 4 chins, no teeth, are old enough to be my father, look like a crazed serial killer or are "just lookin' for a good woman" please resist the urge to wink at or IM me. Also, if you message me, please refrain from using text-speak and write like an adult male who has actually graduated from high school (or better yet college).

Check back often to see more of the Match.com experiment!

2010-10-29T21:25:00.001-04:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2010-09-18T09:02:00.001-04:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

Summer Gets in the Way

2010-08-15T10:55:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted since May. Wow. I am sure no one is reading this anymore, but if you are checking back every-so-often, here is what I have been up to:

Still job hunting, looking to get into some free-lance writing if I can, and ultimately marketing for a creative group/design/advertising/PR firm, a museum/historical site or a company who makes something interesting (LOL).

Seeing lost of movies this summer. You can see reviews for big summer movies like Inception, Salt and later today I will post my review for The Expendables at my new blog Movie Megaphone.

Went to see Sting and the Ryal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra at the end of July. He never ceases to amaze me. It's cliche' but like a fine wine, he gets better and better with age. Sting surrounds himself with the most amazing musicians and engages the audience in a very intimate way. A seasoned performer, incredible musician and in amazing shape, it's no wonder Sting remains tops on my list!

Another project on the horizon: A friend of mine wants to publish a book about her trials and tribulations of thyroid cancer and wants me to write it. I am excited about this and hope this becomes a reality soon. It would be great for her to get her story out there, and great for me to get writing for real.

This summer has been one of the best in a while for me. I am feeling good, have lost 15 pounds, have made some amazing connections with friends, and am filled with possibility and positivity.

Dramatic Horse and Mission Impossible Squirrel!

2010-05-15T16:46:00.003-04:00

Movie Megaphone!

2010-05-12T11:00:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone! I wanted to announce that I have officially launched a new blog:

Movie Megaphone

Please check it out and if you can, follow it. It is a combination of two of my favorite things: movies and writing with a little marketing savvy thrown in from time to time. I am really excited about this and hope you will all enjoy it as much as I love creating and writing it! Tell your friends, tell your enemies! Everybody loves MOVIES!:)

I will be updating the new blog 2-3 times per week and will continue to post things on this blog at least once a week in order to keep you all laughing...sorry I have been slacking on the funny lately, but I do have some ideas perculating for a blog series right here on cclifeorsomethinglikeit!

Reiki: To Your Health! (A Teaser)

2010-05-11T18:31:00.003-04:00

I had heard of Reiki here and there but never really looked into it until my friend Lura became a Reiki Practitioner.

In 2001 Lura had a thyroidectomy which resulted in surgeon induced hypoparathyroidism (accidental removal of parathyroid glands) & 3 days after surgery she developed fibromyalgia. She has been searching for years and has found that educating yourself is the best medicine. Her story is more common that you may think and through her research she has not only networked with those who share her health concerns but found the art of Reiki to be healing.

Here is a snipette from Lura's new blog that will be launched soon:

Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.
The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

The unveiling of this blog announces that Lura will be practicing Reiki in the beautiful and serene surroundings of the foothills of the Adirondack mountains in upstate New York.

Please stop back for more information on Lura's blog and her Reiki practice coming soon. Your life force energy will thank you!

Batman 3 Release Date Announced!

2010-05-01T12:35:00.002-04:00

Stumbled upon this little tidbit on the release date for Christopher Nolan's final Batman film

And you know what a release date means Bat-fans!? The storyline is set and they are ready to roll. I guess this means I will have to keep a close eye on Comic-Con this year to see if any nuggets are released by Nolan. Yippee!!!

I hope there is a kick-ass viral marketing campaign like was done for Dark Knight. :)

Working it Out

2010-04-12T20:03:00.003-04:00

I had my first full fledged call with my Career Coach today. It went really well and I am happy with the advice and progress I am and will make.

She asked me to do a simple exercise to visualize what a happy work environment would entail. For me this ended up not being such an easy thing, and I became pretty emotional. What came out was that I don't want to disappoint my parents, however I don't feel that their ideas of what I should do are what I want to do and ultimately therein lies the rub. My counselor was understanding that parents can have a big influence, especially when you are living with them, BUT I need to do what I want to do because it is my life.

It's not that this is a revelation, I KNOW this. I still feel this pressure to get a job and be uber successful and all that comes with it. I am 34 years old, I need to get over that. It's my life. I've got to do my own thing, no matter what. She was very understanding and she reiterated that things like that are part of the process and that as a life coach as well she deals with all sorts of reactions. We got through and moved forward, and it was good.

What was my happy place? A place that is vibrant, creative and interesting. My mind immediately went to a Museum. So I will be looking into using my marketing skills to benefit museums.

Website development was another avenue as was marketing sustainability and environmental initiatives with integrity and not "greenwashing".

Movies and music are also great loves of mine, however I have not found a way to make a decent living at either of these. I am still pondering that, and they may end up being nice hobbies on the side of my career.

In an effort to continue my crazy life, I made reservations last night to fly to Orlando, Florida Thursday to visit my good friend Nate. We have been talking about me coming down to do Disney and Universal for a few years now and I figured, why not now? Thursday will be hanging out poolside and then Friday is Disney, Saturday is a car show on Disney property that will feature Nate's friends who own a replica Delorean from Back to the Future (complete with Flux Capacitor and Mr Fusion and al the bells an whistles)then Sunday will be Universal and then I fly home Monday. Another note of interest is that the Batmobile from the 1989 Tim Burton original is there also as well as the Ghostbusters ambulance... 2 Batmobiles in one year! Are you crazy? I LOVE IT!

Also, psyched about the new Doors Documentary "When You're Strange". Hoping to see it when it comes to a theater nearby. Been listening to a lot of Mr Mojo Risin in preparation. Check out the teaser trailer at my I SPY blog

Thanks to all of you who have commented and read through all of my issues especially lately. I appreciate it and your comments have given me strength to continue with my journey. Sometimes the burdens and worries I carry are too much, and that is where my blog comes in as an outlet. Thanks for your patience!

I am either breaking out of my shell or going completely insane...Either way, it's all worth it!

New Beginnings

2010-04-06T17:12:00.001-04:00

Working on a bunch of stuff right now.

Back in NY.

Feeling refreshed and ready.

Good things are around the corner.

More to come...

Meltdown

2010-03-25T01:29:00.002-04:00

"You need to get going and start your life…we are all pulling for you."

When you read that in an email from your brother, it's obvious that your family has been talking about you. I need to "get going and start my life"? Are you fucking kidding me? Thanks asshole, I will make note of that.

Yes, I have been unemployed for 10 months and I am embarrassed beyond measure about it.

Yes, I have been extremely confused about my career path.

Yes, I have had bouts of depression about my situation and my indecision.

I almost feel like an intervention is on it's way, like I am the bad seed that everyone is worried about because everyone else is successful and has their place in the world and I am the slacker. That makes me feel tons better.

Truth be told, my last job ruined me. Even though it was a Manager title, my self-worth and self-esteem as a productive member of the company was squashed. I became more and more unsure of myself and my position the last 8 months I was there, thanks to certain people including my supervisor. I had tried to look for another job then, but when you don't believe in yourself, it's not very productive.

Then I was laid off. I had just bought a car, I had 6 months left on my apartment lease and I was lost. The past 10 months have been a drain on my mental health and well being, because let's face it, even though I hated my job, I wanted to leave on my own terms. I never wanted to be laid off.

I could probably use a counselor because I am pretty off my rocker the past week...especially today. Part of me wants to get back out there and get my life back, but part of me wants to run away and hide in a cave and never come out again. I surely am sick of being the charity case and living with my sister, then my parents and now my brother. It's so hard to be self-sufficient and living on your own for years and then having to rely on others. I am starting to feel like the house guest that won't leave.

So I am in Cali, My Nanny duties are finished and I can now focus on a proper job hunt but my resolve is failing me. I hope today is just a bad day and that the triggers that set me off will mean nothing tomorrow.

Corey Feldman to Blame for Corey Haim's Death?

2010-03-22T13:28:00.011-04:00

Apparently, Corey Haim tried Mary Jane for the first time while he was filming the Lost Boys. Is it a coincidence that this was the first time that he had met and worked with Corey Feldman? My theory is that Feldman was the instigator and enabler since he himself was already on that path, ending up in rehab for heroin abuse years later. I always thought Corey Feldman was a bad influence on Corey Haim. Feldman found a drug buddy in Haim but Feldman was strong and picked himself up. Haim wasn't so lucky.

It bothers me that Feldman has been bellyaching that Haim's fans and Hollywood in general should have come forward sooner, supported him sooner, "helped a legend out". And what could his fans have done? The fans are not responsible for Haim's continuous downward spiral and eventual death. There was a lot of fan support out there for him even after all the time he was not in the public eye. I loved Corey Haim in the late 80's, but in all honestly, Haim's fans are mostly in their mid to late thirties now, with lives of their own. Even though we have fond memories of (embarrassing) celebrity crushes and movies back in our childhood it's no longer a central theme in our lives.

We also have to remember that drug abuse was only one of Haim's issues. Burning bridges and becoming difficult to work with doesn't bode well for a career anywhere, especially in Hollywood. Gaining back trust is a tough road, especially after 10, 15 and 20 years. No one's going to bet on a horse that never finishes a race...

A made-for-TV movie, and a few D list movie ideas floating around with his "brother" Feldman do not constitute a comeback. Let's be honest, his acting was marginal at best and his interviews were heartbreaking and made him look even more washed up. It was all too late. The Haimster had messed up his mind and he had ruined what he had. That's what 20 years of abusing drugs and multiple ODs can do.

It's a sad tale, but Feldman placing blame while he does the "circuit" is really lame. The "letter" he wrote and posted on his blog to Corey Haim was sloppy. Hey, Corey Feldman, have you ever heard of spell checking and editing before posting something this important? And for the record, if one of my best friends died I wouldn't care who showed up to take pictures, I would have wanted to be there to see them laid to rest and to support the family.

No one will ever know the true story of "The Coreys" and their relationship trials and tribulations. While I am sure Feldman is grieving for the loss of his friend, he still comes off as an ego-maniac.

CC realizes that some of the content contained in this post is in bad taste. I apologize, gentle readers, if I offended. Perhaps you would also find my self-made text alert on my phone offensive as well, but I think of it more as a homage to my favorite resident of Santa Carla. Click link to listen...

The Return of Jonathan "The Impaler"

2010-03-15T15:41:00.004-04:00

After the sad news of Corey Haim and Peter Graves passing, I cannot believe that the return of Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey is making my day! Yay! Something to laugh about!

You may remember my previous post back in 2006 about the Vampire who wanted to run for Minnesota Govenor HERE. That was a classic.

Well now gentle readers, apparently the Vampire, or should I say "Vampyre", has since moved to Florida and is looking to run for President in 2012. READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE.

In an effort to come up with some new slogans (although my 2006 post was pretty classic) here are some possibilities:

~~Minnesota~~, ~~Florida~~ , Let's try Washington DC!

Better undead than red!

Go for the Jugular!

Vampyres of the world, Bite!

Jonathan "The Impaler": A Fangtastic Choice!

Alright, I'm done...I just can't do it! It's so ridiculous!!! This man is sick.

RIP Sweet Boy: A Farewell to Corey Haim

2010-03-10T17:20:00.003-05:00

Click to enlarge pic.

I made this collage of Corey, trying to keep it light and retrospective to when I was a huge fan. I had heard he enjoyed painting and creating, so I thought this would be a fitting tribute. It is a sad day, but I have tons of memories of his movies and all those Teen Beat posters I had in my room in Jr High. I guess it was fitting that I got to Santa Cruz last month and have been watching The Lost Boys a lot again lately. I will miss you Corey Haim!

He was such a cutie, and it's sad he became a casualty of Hollywood. It broke my heart watching him on A&E's "The Two Coreys". He barely looked like himself from everything he had put his body through and he acted like an immature, desperate boy looking to make it big again. He had lost himself. I feel terrible that he struggled so hard, only to lose. Maybe now he will be at peace with the world and himself. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Corey's journey has ended, and with it dies part of my childhood. Perhaps that is the true epicenter of my sadness.

Bubble Battle!

2010-03-09T14:00:00.002-05:00

A little video and a few pics Cullin shot while we were being silly girls one warm day here in Cali.

Me and the Bay in Monterey

2010-03-08T14:11:00.009-05:00

Sunday we loaded up and went to Monterey Bay for the day. There was lots to see. First stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Here are some pics from the aquarium, some are from my cell:

Mark and Caitlin and Auntie Carol ready to go to the Aquarium:

We found a cute little clam!

Beautiful Jellyfish

Seahorses. I took this picture for Mom:)She would like these cute little guys:

A huge tank in the "Kelp Forest" Exhibit. A diver was feeding and answering questions from the onlookers. There was a huge Wolf Eel in there as well, but I didn't get a pic. He had to be 6 feet long!

The sharks would swim by and part schools of fish. Everyone knew who was in charge of this big tank of deep ocean creatures such as giant tuna, rays, pacific sunfish hammerhead sharks and many other small and large fish.

After the excitement at the Aquarium, we headed south along the coast on Highway 1 and stopped to walk along the coast in the Asilomar State Marine Reserve and see all the tidal pools teeming with life. Check out all these hermit crabs...there were tons of them, and you had to be careful not to harm any of the sea creatures as you walked atop the rocky shore.

Here is a little film I shot of the coast. Very windy:

We continued our excursion south to the famous 17-Mile Drive at Pebble Beach along the coast. The road weaved between forest, the coast, world class golf courses like Pebble Beach and Spyglass Hill and multi-million dollar homes. Some of these places were AMAZING! and quite a few were for sale if you have 20-30 mil laying around. We stopped at one area called "Seal Rock" where seals rested and played in the surf waiting for high tide to come in. Watching seals body surf on the waves is a riot, and Caitlin enjoyed hearing them "bark" .

More pics of the coast at I Spy...

Full of Beans!

2010-03-04T10:21:00.004-05:00

Poor E. I hope he forgives me when he gets older. He is a good sport and loves being silly with Aunt CC. Another chapter of fun from summer 2009! The audio is a little low in spots so turn it up!

BY REQUEST: The Blondie Zoom: Speed Mama Trailer

2010-03-02T17:15:00.006-05:00

Lamby and I got a little silly this summer...perhaps I should post a few other gems this week???

OMG!!! A New Album for the Red Hot Chili Peppers!!!

2010-03-01T17:14:00.002-05:00

Remember a few days ago how I mentioned that Sting is touring this year and wouldn't it be great if RHCP were coming out with a new album and tour sometime this year?

Apparently they have been working on an album for release in the fall of 2010! And of course a tour will follow. The only sad news is that John Frusciante had quit, so I won't be able to see him go nuts on his guitar. I am definitley going to see them this time around, you can count on that!

Can't believe I hadn't heard the news that was apparently released last October! Check out the short article HERE.

The Winchester Mystery House, San Jose, CA

2010-02-27T19:46:00.005-05:00

Today we went to San Jose to tour the Winchester Mystery House. Cullin and I were excited, and Mark and Caitlin came along and were good sports! We took the house tour and then toured around the garden afterwards. This place is as crazy as it seems. A window in the floor, a "Door to nowhere" and stairs that lead to a dead end are just a few of the oddities we found.

If you haven't heard of the Winchester Mystery House, head HERE to read more about the eccentric owner and her obsession with the number 13, spirits and the occult.

Here are some pics of the outside and grounds, as photographs were not allowed inside the mansion. The artistry in stained/decorative glass windows and carpentry as well as floors was amazing. I would love to go back in the summer to see the gardens in bloom and also at night when they do flashlight tours on Friday the 13ths! Very cool.

Some blooming trees:

Can you find the "Door to Nowhere" in this pic. Don't let the fat girl distract you!

The front doors were beautiful. They had cost $3000 when they were installed. How much are they worth today? Um...A LOT MORE I am sure.

Caitlin and her Mommy at one of the many beautiful fountains:

Caitlin making a wish as Mom and Dad look on:

More good pics at MyEyeMyOtherEye

My Day is MADE!

2010-02-23T10:29:00.002-05:00

This morning I received an email from STING.com that he will be embarking on a tour this June! It's a world Tour presented by Xerox (already emailed my bro to see if he can get tickets!) He will be all over and hopefully in a city near wherever I am at the time. Soooo excited! He will be performing both Police and solo tunes with the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra and a quartet including Dominic Miller.

"An Evening with Sting". This totally made my day!:)

Now if the Red Hot Chili Peppers would announce a new album and tour, all would be right with the universe!

Fat Tuesday etc.

2010-02-16T15:44:00.007-05:00

Laissez les bon Temps Rouler!

Let the good times role, no matter how you spell it!

In other news, I wish I hadn't gone to story hour at the library today with my niece. Not only is this librarian VERY BORING (perhaps kids story hours are not your thing lady) but today she had a song (on tape to sing along to) and a puppet that she performed with that actually made the hair on my neck stand up...The puppet was a spider and this is how the song went:(the abreviated version anyway)

"There's a spider on the floor
Who could ask for any more...

Now the spiders on my leg
Oh he's really big!...

There's a spider on my stomach
He's just a dumb old lummock...

There's a spider on my neck
I'm gonna be a wreck...

There's a spider on my face
Oh what a big disgrace...

There's a spider on my head
Oh I wish that he were dead...

But then he jumps off..."

The song was creepy, You would hear only a single chord on the guitar then the guy would sing acapella and it was really weird. Then another chord for the next line etc. Unsettling. Here are two pics of the boring librarian and her stupid disgusting spider puppet:(click to enlarge...it's a cell phone people!)

Caitlin and Aunt CC have been having lots of fun as usual. Last night, we were extremely silly and someone wanted to try on my sneakers! Too cute!

And here are the lovely peach roses I got;

From my wonderfull brother Mark in thanks for helping out. How nice was that?

2010-02-14T14:30:00.001-05:00

On Location: CC's Movie Meccas!

2010-02-12T09:11:00.000-05:00

Here is a quick and dirty video of my cell phone picks of Santa Cruz Boardwalk set to Thomas Newman's Score of The Lost Boys including some pics from the movie. It is basically a keepsake for myself, but wanted to share. Turn up your speakers and enjoy!

If (or should I say WHEN) I am able to go back during peak summer hours, I want to shoot some videos and use the rock soundtrack ...just food for thought!

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

2010-02-06T22:04:00.016-05:00

Wow. I LOVED this movie. I have a feeling I will love this movie and notice new things each time I watch it. Yes, this will be a purchase for me. This movie isn't for everyone and I wasn't surprised that a few people walked out within the first 20 minutes. Apparently, it was too much for them, or probably they had no idea what they were getting into. That's fine, to each his own. Case in point: some people love Romantic Comedies, I'm not a fan and rarely enjoy them. But anywho, where was I in my story? Ah Yesssss...

Plot "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. It tells the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom. Blessed with the extraordinary gift of guiding the imaginations of others, Dr Parnassus is cursed with a dark secret. Long ago he made a bet with the devil, Mr Nick, in which he won immortality. Many centuries later, on meeting his one true love, Dr Parnassus made another deal with the devil, trading his immortality for youth, on condition that when his first-born reached its 16th birthday he or she would become the property of Mr Nick. Valentina is now rapidly approaching this 'coming of age' milestone and Dr Parnassus is desperate to protect her from her impending fate. Mr Nick arrives to collect but, always keen to make a bet, renegotiates the wager. Now the winner of Valentina will be determined by whoever seduces the first five souls. Enlisting a series of wild, comical and compelling characters in his journey, Dr Parnassus promises his daughter's hand in marriage to the man that helps him win. In this captivating, explosive and wonderfully imaginative race against time, Dr Parnassus must fight to save his daughter in a never-ending landscape of surreal obstacles - and undo the mistakes of his past once and for all..." This synopsis is taken from imdb.com

Set in present day, the traveling show looks more in the style of an old time traveling freakshow/circus circa 1800's. The costumes are colorful and rich in contrast the modern everyday apparel of present day people around them. The interactions with present day folks further examines how society has lost it's imagination and creativity in part because of all of the electronics and our selfishness. (Whiny, selfish children, materialistic, impatient adults, and kids engrosed in video games instead of the world around them etc)

As you may know, Heath Ledger died before the completion of this movie. He plays the Mysterious man who joins the treveling troupe. I was amazed at the preservation of continuity and great acting that continued in the capable hands of Johnny Depp, Jude Law and even Colin Farrell. Heath Ledger was engaging as usual, Johnny Depp seemed to seemlessly become him and Jude and Colin were worthy contributors. It worked, it flowed well and it was amazing to see these men come together to help make Heath's last film a reality.

Right to Left: Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell

Christopher Plummer was wonderful as Dr. P, Lily Cole was perfectly alluring as his beautiful daughter Valentina, Tom Waits was a snidley Mr Nick (The Devil), Andrew Garfield was delightful as Anton and Verne Troyer was great as Dr. P's sidekick Percy. The chracters were well written and acted, and the story was interesting, thought provoking and smart. So many issues were touched upon like family, relationships, Love, hate, greed...I could go on. I was completely sucked into this amazing world.

ABOVE: Christopher Plummer and Tom Waits
BELOW: Heath Ledger, Lily Cole and Andrew Garfield

The special effects were tremendous and brought Terry Gilliam and Charles McKeown's visions of the Imaginarium to life. I hate the word "Whimsical" so I will describe them as breathtaking and fantastical. The music was non-intrusive and complimentary and a few original songs were hysterical in the vein of Monty Python. A nice balance was struck between the light and the dark in many aspects of this film.

This movie is not for everyone. Most times I found that I was the only one laughing out loud...I guess they didn't get it. If you are not familiar with Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python fame) and tend to get bogged down or distracted by the wonderous feel and look of the film, you will miss the messages and wonderful acting etc. Some may say it was an acid trip. Perhaps they lost their imagination somewhere along the road of "growing up". Perhaps they never had an imagination in the first place. How sad. I would love to discuss this movie at length since there are many things one can take away from it.

I was so happy that I was able to see this film in the theater since it was only a limited release. It comes out on DVD in less than 3 months, so if anyone would like to see it, I would be happy to host a screening... All you need to bring is an open mind, and your imagination!

The Popsicle Kid and Other Stuff

2010-02-06T13:26:00.002-05:00

The Popsicle Kid can be found HERE.
A picnic for lunch after a morning at the park. Sunny, funny days!

I am trying to figure out what to do today. Thinking I may just take advantage of the rainy/cloudy day to head to the cinema and catch "Imaginarium" since it hasn't opened wide anyplace yet and I found a theater within 15 minutes to go to. I am just looking to veg a bit today so that might be the ticket.

If it clears later, I may take a walk along the beautiful trail nearby. It is called the Ironhorse Trail and is a converted train track that has been paved for biking, runnning, rollerbading and dog walking. Put on the tunes and take a walk!

Tomorrow is the SuperBowl. Even though I have been rooting for The Saints, I feel they have a sense of "entitlement" and the fans have been sort of obnoxious. "Who Dat?" gonna lose to the Colts because they are too big for their britches? So, Um, Yea. GO COLTS!!!!!!

Enjoy your weekend!

Fun with CC & CC Part 1

2010-02-05T13:00:00.000-05:00

San Francisco Golden Gate Park/Tut Exhibit Part 2

2010-02-04T16:46:00.003-05:00

Here are a few pics that Cullin took on our outing last weekend as promised.

The Music Concourse Stage:

A close up:

Being silly:

Francis Scott Keye monument: (How many verses does the Star Spangled Banner have?)

The view form the Claremont in Berkely...my cell phone pic isn't great, but we could see the skyline of San Fran and the Golden Gate Bridge from there that day! I would love to go back at night!

Tutankhamun: The Golden Age of the Pharaohs

2010-01-30T20:49:00.007-05:00

Today I went with my sister-in-law Cullin into San Francisco to see the Tut Exhibit at the de Young Museum. It was a beautiful day and a short 45 minute drive into the city. I was excited. I had been wanting to see this exhibit since it began it's tour of the US!

The installation was amazing. The artifacts were breathtaking and so interestingly displayed. You were on the journey of King Tut's genealogy, working your way through the years and family artifacts. Each room was varied with lighting and types of artifacts. The displays were simple and well lit and the descriptions were concise. From jewelry and funerary objects to shrines and statues, the varied pieces were easy to digest and appreciate.

It was definitely the wave of the future for museum exhibit installations with high definition screens of some of the smaller artifacts, historical vignettes and an interesting animation rendering depicting Tut's sarcophagus and it's protective layers in the tomb. Moving this exhibit around must be quite the feat!

Another cool thing is that Zahi Hawass, Secretary General, The Supreme Council of Antiquities, is going to give a talk at the San Francisco Opera house on February 8th. If I am still here and can swing it, I would LOVE to go hear him speak! He is amazing!

The de Young is a Fine Arts museum located in Golden Gate Park which is a HUGE (1017 acres!) and amazing park. I would love to go explore more. It has so much to see including the California Academy of Sciences which houses the Natural History Museum, an Aquarium and a Planetarium, and the park also has a botanical garden and a Japanese Tea Garden. When everything is in bloom I am sure it is even more spectacular.

It was great to walk around the Music Concourse and see people doing Tai Chi, while other people were jogging, walking or attending one of the exhibits in the area. The culture out here is so chill and relaxed and people are very friendly. I keep telling Cullin that it's all the sunshine! Vitamin D is good!:)

After our morning in San Fran, we headed back over the Bay Bridge through Oakland to Berkley. We ate lunch at The Claremont Hotel, which is a large fancy hotel in the hills of Berkley. We ate at the Paragon Bar & Cafe on the terrace which has breathtaking views of San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge.

It was a great day and I am excited to see what other adventures I can go on while I am here. I will post pictures Monday once Cullin uploads from her camera. I am hoping my pic from the Claremont terrace that I took with my camera phone comes out well enough to post!

Happy

2010-01-26T11:11:00.003-05:00

Here I sit with my coffee, waiting for a little one to wake up and all I can think about is how happy I am. This trip and experience has done me a WORLD of good. I definitely have learned more about myself. I think after I lost my job I felt pretty miserable and lost. Getting out of the ungrateful vortex is a blessing and this trip is well deserved. (Lamby understands the ungrateful vortex and my breakdown prior to leaving, and what that entailed.):)

I am so happy that I am here. Happy I went to Santa Cruz. Happy that I am seeing the Tut exhibit in San Fran this weekend. Happy that I am getting to spend time with my brother and his family.

Perhaps I am also happy because I feel like there are actually tangible options out there. I have gotten the opportunity to get out and see someplace different in person instead of trying to search on my laptop from a secluded upstate NY village.

Moving out here has been discussed. Mark would really love having some of his family out this way. I would love to for many reasons. The part that stinks is that it is so expensive out here to live so I would have to get a really good (perm) job to live. In other words I would need to make double what I was making in NY in order to afford a decent apartment.

That said, if I was going to live out here, personally, I have to admit, it would be in or around Santa Cruz. Aside from my childhood obsession, the town is cool. Very eclectic artsy, and also expensive, but worth it with redwoods and the beach surrounding you. Absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I think I fell in love last weekend...

Anywho, I am happy except for the rain! Good God! Pulease stop pouring!!! :)

Oh, and I forgot to reference this post yesterday: My Top 5 Movie Pilgrimages I have officially been to 2 of the 5! Now THAT is exciting!!

Movie Mecca Visit: Santa Cruz Boardwalk

2010-01-24T12:11:00.005-05:00

It's funny how things work. I had a day off yesterday to go do something and I pondered a few things. One of them was visiting a place I had dreamed of going for many years: The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. This was the filming location for The Lost Boys.

As I thought about places to visit and checked out directions, I took a break to eat some breakfast and flipped channels. Fate was in my face...The Lost Boys was on tv yesterday morning...so my decision was made. I was going on an adventure, but I had to be home before dark:)

It's off season, but the park was open with limited rides. They were doing some construction near the Giant Dipper, but the 1911 Carousel was running and the restoration was beautiful. The park sits right on the beach. It is a colorful place and while I walked around I listened to both the score and soundtrack to the movie, spotting many places along the way that were reconizable.

Check out some pics and read about the park here

My plan is to go back at peak season and spend a weekend there, riding the rides 'til late at night and watching a concert on the beach. Who wants to come????

Some more of my pics (the best ones) that I took on my cell are HERE

That's a Catchy Tune, Son!

2010-01-22T01:45:00.000-05:00

LOVE THAT GENERAL LARRY PLATT!!!

Tidbits and Giggles

2010-01-21T01:21:00.007-05:00

My time has been great, though I am more tired at night than usual! I have a new little buddy and next week should be interesting since Cullin is traveling. My days will be a bit longer than usual because of that, but I know the routine so we will be fine.

Just a few pics I have taken along the way...

The first is of the rental car lot. When we stopped to get the car after our flight from Spokane to Oakland, Caitlin happily announced to her mother that she wanted one of the yellow cars. She is definitely my brother's daughter!!

This next one is the pic of the park we go to. it is perfect because if is made especially for kids ages 2-5 and has 2 slides, swings and a climbing wall among other fun things. This is a great way to tire a 2 1/2 year old out! And Aunt Carol gets some fresh air as well!(I have cut the name out since it's really not a necessity, and just in case any creepies happen upon this blog it's best to not name the park! Hey, you can never be too careful)

The final one is my favorite of Caitlin's toys thus far, well besides a cute little pink pig (I will get a picture of him for later in the week). I just call him Monkey and it reminds me of the "Monkey Song" by 100 Monkeys which I can't seem to get out of my head lately! BTW, they are playing about 1 hour and 15 min away Thursday night in Santa Cruz... I would love to go but alas, I must wait for the Syracuse show!

More to come later! Greetings from the Left Coast!

You Haven't Lived Until...

2010-01-16T01:37:00.002-05:00

You have arrived at the airport with 3 suitcases, 4 bags and a 2 1/2 year old. There is no way Cullin could have done that alone. Caitlin did great and was very patient considering the waits and the lugging!

You have watched Pooh's Heffalump movie 2 or 3 times each day for the past 3 days and there is no end in sight!

You have run and jumped around like crazy to tire out the aformentioned 2 1/2 year old, who now for some reason calls you "Dr. Carol" (not sure where that came from ) and "Super Carol" (OK, that one I suggested). I think we both got tired!

You have gotten the 2 1/2 year old to sit on the potty 3 times in one day (and happily!) in efforts to move training into the fast lane. Bribes work well, even simple ones like putting a penny in the jar each time she goes.

The 2 1/2 year old looks at you and says "Is that you?" and then giggles because your hair is wet from just taking a shower and she didn't recognize you at first.

My Next Adventure

2010-01-10T02:43:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday I will be leaving my lovely, though temporaty abode, for Spakane, Washington. From there I will travel to San Ramon, California and will Nanny for my brother and his wife for a few weeks whilst they settle in after the big move. I am really excited and also a bit nervous. I want to do a great job for them. I know that I will since I have had lots of experience with all of my nieces and nephews. Lots of fun activities are already brewing!

I appreciate the opportunity. Some constructive criticism about my career path and advice from my brother will be good for me as well. I look forward to some tough love because I know it comes from the heart and I am mature enough to handle it.

Caitlin and I will be buddies, I know it. I always look forward to bonding with my newest niece!

Dreams

2010-01-05T09:50:00.004-05:00

I am a vivid dreamer. I have always had epic length dreams that are filled with movie-like plot lines that I can describe in great detail. Last night, I had one of the most interesting dreams I have ever had. Have you ever had a dream that was both in color AND black and white? Let me explain.

My dream was in color as usual. The weird part was that Cary Grant was there, but he was in black and white. It was as if he stepped out of one of his movies, such as "Arsnic and Old Lace" perhaps. It was bizarre, yet not unsettling. He didn't speak, with exception to a puzzled "Hmmmm..." because I had pricked both of my pinky fingers with a needle by accident. He was holding my hands and examining my fingers but what is weird is I was still in color and he was still in black and white. The other people that were there were shocked at his presence and made mention of two obvious observations: "What's he doing here?/Isn't he dead?"

I guess I should consult my dream book.

Have you ever had a dream like this? What is one of the craziest dreams you have ever had?

Tron: Legacy

2009-12-29T09:28:00.001-05:00

Woah. That got my attention.

100 Monkeys "Sleeping Giants"

2009-12-22T11:00:00.000-05:00

100 Monkeys "Ugly Girl"

2009-12-21T09:31:00.001-05:00

Gideon Putnam

2009-12-12T16:32:00.007-05:00

I took the following pics on my cell phone while staying over at the famous Gideon Putnam. It was all decked out for Christmas with a tree and GINORMOUS Nutcrackers.

It was built in 1935 and added onto throughout the years. Many famous people have stayed there including Bob Hope, Fred Astaire and Cary Grant! Check out their website HERE.

This was the original Service Elevator, which was cool, but creepy. The wind would howl down the long hallways and I was convinced that this place could be haunted.

I was able to sit by this lovely fire for a bit before we left.

Lamby and I couldn't resist getting our pictures taken with the GINORMOUS Nutcrackers before we left. They were so cute!

I forgot the Thanksgiving Pics...Oops!

2009-12-11T10:35:00.011-05:00

Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad's included these fine guests: Pinky, Lamby and Family, Kathy and the girls, Jigger and his girls and yours truly! Here are some pics of our Turkey Day fun!

Dad and Jigger Carvin' the Turkeys!

Alysa and I

Kathy and Jigger playin' some pool

Everyone Rocks Out on Rock Band!

Serving Pie (Apple, Pumpkin and Pecan!) and coffee

Jigger succombs to the "Turkey Coma"

Lots of fun was had by all. The day, as usual, went by too fast.

Merry Christmas from Sting

2009-12-08T11:43:00.005-05:00

Each year Sting sends out a Christmas greeting to his fans. I look forward to this every year (as well as the one Pee-Wee Herman sends out! haha:)

You can view his greeting here at Sting.com

NYC Trip

2009-12-06T11:42:00.016-05:00

Lamby, Pinky Anne Marie and I went to NYC with Mom yesterday. Just a day trip to see the the city all decked out. Too bad it rained (and sometimes snowed) the entire time. We were soaked by the end of the day as you will see below.

Even though we were wet rats, it was fun. While re-inacting different scenes from "Elf"...we saw some great windows (yay! Henri Bendel!), Grand Central, Trump Tower, Rock Center tree & skaters (even in the rain!), St. Pat's Cathedral, Saks 5th Ave, and had a great meal at a little irish pub off 7th ave.

Here are some pics of our excursion:

Grand Central

St. Patrick's Cathedral

St. Pat's Nativity Scene (almost life size!)

Trump Plaza Wreath

Rockafeller Center Tree/Skaters

Times Square

Crazy Metal C3PO, Yoda and R2D2 life-size replicas in Bryant Park shops

Bryant Park Christmas Tree

See a few more pics at I Spy

Owl's Head Mountain

2009-11-25T09:00:00.001-05:00

Went on an great hike today up Owl's Head Mountain. Took some pics, and although it was a bit cloudy in spots, the payoff was amazing. Some areas were pretty challenging and the tower at the top was in great shape. I haven't been for a longer hike in a long time so it was good to get out and experience the quiet beauty of the forest.

See some other pics at I Spy including my favorite of the path and sunlight dripping through the trees.

My Highlight of the Winter Film Season

2009-11-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

I have been waiting for this film for a long time and I cannot wait to see it. How can you deny the combination of Terry Gilliam directing, and actors of such calibur as Christopher Plummer, Johnny Depp and of course the late great Heath Ledger?

Sprinkle in other talented actors like Jude Law and Colin Farrell into an amazing story, beautiful costuming, and what's looking like some crazy sets and cinematography and you have the recipe for my newest cinematic obsession.

I am excited but also sad about seeing Imaginarium since it was Heath Ledger's last film.

So heavy is my heart when I think of him still. What a talent we have lost. A man who was just beginning to explore the depths of his art.

New Moon Review

2009-11-23T10:39:00.005-05:00

Where shall I start? I guess saying that I can't believe I was even a little excited to see New Moon is a good place to begin. Perhaps my status as unemployed has clouded my judgement. Getting to spend some time with my friend Big Geek was really where my excitement stemmed from. I was confused. Disoriented. And here is what can happen when you make bad movie viewing decisions...

I will now attempt to express the few and far between positives this movie had to offer.

First up: Taylor Lautner was the star of the film. The kid beefed up, was the best actor in the film (although that's not saying a ton)and looked amazing. When they said he would continue as Jacob, I was not a believer that he could pull it off, but he did the character justice. They did well by him with makeup and wardrobe and made the transformation complete. He was "sort of beautiful" for sure. I think he will be one of the only ones that has any success outside of the franchise when it is over, since he plays his character well and yet never seems likely to be typecast. I actually looked forward to the times he was on screen and that's saying a lot considering the rest of the film.

Second: The CGI was pretty good. I appreciated the movements, body language and expressions that Jacob's wolf had. They melded human with CGI wolf well in that manner. The cliff jumping scenes were horrible though. It was so obvious and made me think of the Goonies when the boys are looking up at the restaurant...If you are a Goonies fan, you will know what I mean.

Thirdly, something I appreciated was how they dealt with Bella's depression after Edward leaves. (Has anyone else wondered why a 100 year old vampire still makes decisions like a 17 year old boy?) Something that took chapter upon chapter in the book lasted 5 minutes and was done pretty well.

I had to scrounge for the good, but the bad came naturally. There is a lot, sprinkled with other observations, so I will try to keep this as short as I can.

The writing was horrendous, but then again so was the book. One liner jokes flew out as randomness to break up the monotony of the painfully slow paced scenes. A majority of the movie is Bella having supposedly deep exchanges with Edward, or Jacob, both, or Alice. I felt like everything was in slow motion as if I was trapped in a dream where I had no voice to scream to stop it all. I was looking for the fast forward button but couldn't find my remote. Some might compare it to having teeth pulled.

The only scenes that stick out are the few actiony spots, because all of the other scenes seem to be mushing together in a conglomerate of badly acted teen angst and Bella's inability to realize that Edward is an asshole and Jacob is a gem in comparison.

Yes, you heard it here first. I would choose the werewolf.

Warderobe and Makeup:

The wardrobes were indicative of current (and resurfacing) trends and the color scheme has moved from the blues and greys of Twilight to darker greys and earth tones like deep maroons, purples and mossy greens and browns. Emphasis on Bella's hair seemed to be a central theme of the movie and seemed to keep changing style and length. I guess I could tell you that this was done to show her dissarray and lack of self-care through her Edward induced depressed but I think that would be stretching it a bit.

We didn't see much of the Cullens, obviously because they were not involved much in the book either, but makeup was overdone and obvious, more-so than in Twilight. I cannot believe ANYONE would believe those people were normal if they lived in their town. Most of them looked like kids who got into a baby powder fight.

Poor Jasper, my favorite of the Cullin clan besides Alice, had a few more lines this time which made me happy but what were they thinking when they did his hair??? It looked like they used Madonna's wig from Dick Tracey. Jasper's was one hairstyle that was done better in Twilight....unlike Victoria. At least Victoria had the great hair that Twilight missed out on in New Moon. The red was vibrant and contrasted nicely with the pallet they were using. It screamed vengeance and thirst for blood, or am I just stretching it a bit again?

I think they were trying to make all the vampire men look as gay as possible. Case in point: the Volturi looked more like a bunch of fruits with too much lipstick on than ass-kicking, power-laden ancients. Way to push the homo-eroticism on the tweens Summit.

Cinematography:

I've got to tell you, I was not impressed. Let me say it this way: I cannot remember a single frame that was memorable. Everything was flat. Not that it was horrible, but it wasn't stellar. A cinematographer with no memorable vision? Again, like twilight, they were trying way too hard and ended up with blah...and actually less than Twilight had managed to secure.

Music and Score:

Forgetable. That is my description for the music in this film. A few, possibly 2 or 3songs stick out, but not enough that they are plaguing me until I purchase them. What's most annoying to me is I remember the scenes they were in, but I cannot recall the music, which is odd for me. This could be because of their placement, or that they just chose the wrong songs. Whatever the reason, the music supervisor missed out on the chance to amp up a boring flick with some amazing music placements. As usual, music makes the movie, though perhaps it would not have saved New Moon.

As for the score, was there a score? I wasn't aware of any themes what-so-ever except for a 5 note "Jacob theme" which was so unimpressive I vaguely remember thinking "That's it?". Let's face it, noone is composing much good music anymore anyway. They score for the movie scenes individually, not the movie as a whole which I personally think takes away from the soul of the score.

Acting:

The acting was only decent by a few. And most of those few are supporting characters like Bella's Dad, classmate Jessica, Alice Cullen who delivered much needed comic relief. As I had said before, Jacob did well. I felt as though Kristen Stewart's Bella was more comfortable and the sparks were at least noticeable when she had scenes with Taylor/Jacob.

Edward on the other hand looked like he was constipated every time he was with Bella and that at any moment he may snap her neck. Bella seemed to wake up from dreams of childbirth pains with her obnoxious screams. She always looked mad at Edward and unable to express herself to him except in stammers and stops. Someone should explain to them the subtle differences in portraying pain. Longing, a broken heart and breaking a leg are three different emotional monsters in my book.

That's a Wrap:

This movie deserves a good ripping. I couldn't resist laughing out loud many times at the ridiculousnes of it all. As I did whilst reading the book, I felt that Jacob got the cardboard box, but on the other hand, who would want the emotionless, vacant Bella anyway? An emotionless, vacant, Vampire perhaps?

The ball is set in motion. I have already seen the first two so I will go and see the next in the theater with Big Geek again in June. Actually, Jasper has a bigger part as should Rosalie so hopefully that will be more entertaining and will hold my attention better...Or not. At least I can hang with Big Geek and then come home and rip it to shreds here for you all to read about.

Vampires Everywhere!

2009-11-19T16:42:00.002-05:00

TWILIGHT FEVER: So of course everyone is aware that the second installment of the Twilight Saga opens tonight at Midnight. Big Geek is dying to go this weekend so we are doing a matinee on Sunday, and to tell you the truth, I am excited to see it too. I mean, new director, Jackson Rathbone as Jasper Hale ...why not! Looking forward to seeing Big Geek of course. I miss her!!! Here is some fun with face-in-hole in time for the midnight opener of New Moon:

Jasper Hale (he's my favorito!) and Me (I even have red eyes...that means I am hungry!!):

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Had to do the movie poster (obs a better fit hair wise):

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Next up in Vamp Films: I have to give them credit for trying to put a new spin on the old Vampire movie. I watched the trailer because, as usual, curiosity killed the cat. I actually was annoyed that the static ad on the Face-in-hole page where I saw this trailer for the first time was a rip off of True Blood marketing, but the movie looks interesting. Definitely a renter, I saw some "bat-like" creatures that pulled my interest way down, but I am still interested in the story as it is different from anything I have seen and Willem Dafoe is in it so that is a PLUS. Check out the trailer for yourself:

Better late than never...

2009-11-14T09:27:00.001-05:00

Link to audio clip

Whedon's "Dollhouse" Officially Canceled

2009-11-12T17:52:00.005-05:00

Here is Joss Whedon's comments from Whedonesque:

Hmm. Apparently my news is not news.

I don't have a lot to say. I'm extremely proud of the people I've worked with: my star, my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you'll agree in the coming months. I'm grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again.

I'm off to pursue internet ventures/binge drinking. Possibly that relaxation thing I've read so much about. By the time the last episode airs, you'll know what my next project is. But for now there's a lot of work still to be done, and disappointment to bear.

Thank you all for your support, your patience, your excellent adverts. See you again. -j.

I don't think any of these networks have given Joss OR Eliza for that matter, a fair shake since the Buffy/Angel days and I am sure those days were hard fouht as well. I hope Eliza and the rest of the cast find other projects that will showcase their talents as well as Joss's Dollverse.

I am sad because I really enjoyed Dollhouse, and was looking forward to where it would go from here. I do however anxiously await future projects by Joss Whedon, 'cause let's face it people, among other things like writing and wit and vision and originality, he brings the fun in.

Until then, I guess I will persue internet ventures/binge drinking as well. Hey Joss, save me a seat and a pitcher...

What day is it? And what am I doing here?

2009-11-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

OK, so now I understand why those who are not working have no concept of time. I was on the phone with a friend this morning and asked her if she was working today..."It's Saturday right?" to which she responded "CC, it's Monday. Go get a job!" Perhaps the hours sitting in front of the computer job searching each day has fried my brain and I am as good as a zombie at this point.

In other Non-news,

I just have to comment on the things people use FB for. You all know I am not a fan, even tho I am going the way of Aerosmith and am back in the saddle again. It's amazing to me that people use FB as a means of communicating things that should be a)private or b)spoken about in person or on the phone. If we think manners are out the window now, wait for it. It's gonna get even worse.

I am brainstorming for a few other projects for my YouTube station. Stop Motion is not necessarily out of the picture, but another form of expression would suit me now that I have sufficiently covered my beginnings of SM. Any suggestions?

Sting thinks President Obama is a gift from God to fix our troubled world. Free speech is great, and I will just continue to enjoy his music and not listen to his politics as I have always done.

Backing up for more on still being unemployed: It's not that I have been searching for the past 5 months. I have been searching for years to find my niche. Yes, this current search has been a battle, and a more urgent one that past searches. I have had a few rough spots where I thought that my life was over and perhaps my destiny is to wait tables at the local bar in my hometown. I can honestly sit here and tell you that I don't believe I am out yet.

On November 5th I turned 34, a number that really means nothing to me, and actually made me feel like I still have time to figure this life out. Sure it is getting harder the longer I am without a job, and believe me I am looking, but I have to continue. I know there is something out there that I can do and do well and enjoy.

Maybe I am not where I was last year, traveling around London, England and Pembroke, Wales, but I am also not where I was last year working as a Marketing Manager in a company that I had no passion for or interest in and disliked for their management style (among other things).

I am so thankful for this time, the support of my family and friends and that I have been able to explore my own creativity.

I am looking forward to my next birthday, when I will again be able to afford to travel and experience more places I will never forget.

One Year Ago Today...

2009-11-06T08:26:00.003-05:00

I was exploring the Medieval Castle in Pembroke Wales.(sigh)

One Year Ago Today...

2009-11-02T10:00:00.002-05:00

I was boarding a flight to London for a ten day excursion and a Medieval Castle in Wales. Tempus fugit.

This year I am unemployed and living with my parents...

Carpe Diem people! CARPE FREAKIN' DIEM!!!

SPOOKY

2009-10-31T09:00:00.001-04:00

Halloween Flashback: 1979

2009-10-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

I loved my "Witchy Poo" socks!

Happy Halloween everyone!

Halloween Flashback: High School 1992

2009-10-29T10:45:00.001-04:00

Notice the cat pumpkin...

I wish I could find my pics from Jr. High when I was The Grim Reaper, A Vampire ala Lost Boys and The Penguin. Perhaps I will dig them up sometime soon!

Halloween Flashbacks: Pinky's Parties!

2009-10-28T09:47:00.003-04:00

2000: Miss Giant Underpants 2000

2001: Chinaman, in honor of Master Po

2002: PU Cheerleader (fitting since I went to Plattsburgh!)

2003: Poke-My-Hontas

I am pretty sure these are the correct years. If I am off let me know! Kim may have other pics and proof of dates! Send them to me if you do!

Check it Out

2009-10-26T19:53:00.003-04:00

I have two You Tube Stations

one for me to house my favorite videos from You Tube

and one for me to post my own videos

I also have a Tumblr account to post my own pictures, videos and audio Just started it today.

This blog will remain the silly, ranting and opinionated CCLife Blog, but I felt I should separate my creativity in part to see what I get back. I am unemployed after all!

So check out my other places when you get a chance and let me know what you think!